Saturday, January 21, 2012

Action Comics #5


Origin Story!

Here's what I know about Superman's origin story. Krypton is nearing the end of its cosmic life and, for some reason, only Jor-El knows. Here in the 52 Universe, nobody else will believe him. Perhaps that's how it was last time as well. He sticks baby Kal-El into a rocket, covers him with a red blanket, and shoots him off towards Earth.

Kal-El, being a baby, doesn't know how to fly the rocket to an interesting place on Earth and crashes instead into Kansas. Ma and Pa Kent find the rocket with the baby in it. They bring it home and...what? Tell everybody that a long lost cousin's high school daughter left it in a dumpster at prom and they decided to take care of it? I have no idea what their cover story was for suddenly having an infant in their lives! I'm sure they just went around saying they adopted him.

The dumb bumpkins never even question what might go into taking care of an alien baby? Did they just start forcing Earthling formula down its throat and hope for the best? Or did they think the rocket was an experimental Russian space craft since everyone in the 50s knew Russians used monkeys, babies, and dogs to test fly their crafts.

I'm pretty sure his binkie was later used as his cape. I'm not sure about his normal suit or where Superman got the 'S' logo. I mention these things because from the cover of Issue #5, you can see Kal-El already has the logo on the blanket covering him. And I'm guessing since his cape is indestructible, it must already be cape shaped since it would also be unalterable as well (I wanted to type 'inalterible as well' to go with indestructible but I opted to go with accuracy over playfulness so that people don't think I'm an absolute moron. Just a person with high moronic tendencies).

I had the feeling that Ma and Pa Kent from the old DCU kept Kal-El's rocket in the barn as well. Really, though, I'm just pretty vague on all the stuff surrounding Superman's nativity. I'm sure a lot of it was retconned (retroactive continuity'ed) over the years as well to somehow include a dog, a horse, a cat, and a cousin inside the rocket with him. Unless they come from somewhere else. Like the Phantom Zone.

Oh! Oh! Maybe that's the ghost dog that the crazy person sees around Superman in Issue #3! Krypto in the Phantom Zone! Not Krypto dead like I first thought! Although I'm probably wrong and it's possible that the corpse/stuffed animal Luthor found in the rocket was Krypto. We shall see.


Does every woman in Superman's life have a name that begins with 'L'?

The first page explains the cape. It's Jor-El's father's cape. It doesn't yet explain the S logo. His father must have been Sam-El. Krypto also has the S logo around his neck. So that's either Jor-El's father's dog or Jor-El's father.

The family plan right now is to escape into the Phantom Zone.

The Phantom Zone. I think everyone who grew up with the Christopher Reeve Superman Movies knows the Phantom Zone is where the Kryptonian criminals were kept. I don't know if it had any other uses. If not, escaping into the Phantom Zone seems pretty dangerous. I guess just knowing its called the Phantom Zone makes it seem pretty dangerous!


Color me corrected: Kryptonian's Super-criminals


And here they are!

Somehow, General Zod is able to reach his hand outside of the Phantom Zone portal! But Krypto jumps to the rescue!


I had not yet read this when I came up with my Krypto theory.

So the "Krypto is in the Phantom Zone" theory is almost instantly confirmed. I wonder how many of the various Kryptonian artifacts and creatures that ended up with Superman in the old universe came from the Phantom Zone? Seems like a convenient way to bring back anything needed from a destroyed planet. Although the Bottled City of Kandor has already been explained in the previous storyline.

The only hope the Els have left is the experimental rocket meant to be piloted by a Kryptonian Megamonkey. It has enough room for a baby and can be piloted by its Brainiac A.I.



Now, I don't know where Brainiac came from in the old Universe but this is a nice touch for future storylines.

And then Superbaby is rocketed off into space! Go Superbaby! Go Superbaby! Go Superbaby go! Baby Kal-El crashes into Earth whose gravity is 1/5 that of Krypton's. So that explains his ability to leap over a speeding locomotive.

And then Ma and Pa Kent find and kidnap him. Martha has apparently just lost their baby, so that's probably how they explain little Supes. She's probably been too embarrassed to tell her gossipy neighbors about the miscarriage because they'll be friendly and console her and offer her tea but afterwards you know it's all they'll be able to talk about all over Smallville.


It's always the Russians!

That plan Pa is talking about is, of course, to offer a deformed calf that was recently born on a farm nearby to the military and say they found it nearby and they think it's a spaceman.

The military will believe anything!

The rocket's journey ends at some unknown point in the future before it somehow becomes the Fortress of Solitude. I know nearly nothing about the Legion of Superheroes. Except they have Legion flight rings, a whole bunch of stupidly named members, and deal with a time-traveling Superboy. More time travel happens here as the Anti-Superman Army travel back to steal the Kryptonite engine of the rocket. This Kryptonite is apparently all of the kryptonite in the universe, every color and isotope and what have you. The Anti-Superman Army (again, who I know nothing about since they must be Legion adversaries) seem to each be composed of one color of Kryptonite. Or they get their powers from one color. Something like that.


Oh look! Superman is going to fly! I bet he gets a Legion flight ring like Booster Gold!

So they steal the engine before Superman, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, and Cosmic Boy can put a stop to them. I only know their names due to Heroclix. And I could be wrong about the one being Cosmic Boy.

Oh, I also forgot last issue to mention the back-up stories of the last few issues!

Issue #3 didn't actually have a back-up story. It had 8 pages of what were essentially ads for the other Superman titles. Oh, glad to pay an extra dollar for that!

Issue #4 had a Steel back-up story that was better than ads but not by much.

Issue #5 had a Ma and Pa Kent back-up story where a pastor helps them through their troubled baby making times by telling them Bible stories. This was on par with the Superman ads.

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