Red Lanterns #9

I can't tell. Is Bleez still sexy even as a decaying zombie Lantern?

Bleez and her rebellion Red Lantern Corps have gone to Sector 876 and the planet Sarff Minor to begin their Cosmic Vengeance Program. She and her Corps destroy a race of beings that have been terrorizing other defenseless races on the planet. Bleez is hoping that Atrocitus will hear of this success and leave Ysmault to confront her. But she doesn't realize that Atrocitus has his own problems.

Last issue, Atrocitus and the loyal Red Lantern Corps were growing sick because the Red Lantern Battery was poisoned. The Red Lanterns blame Rankorr, the new Red Lantern from Earth who got his Master's Degree in English Literature which probably explains why he can speak like a normal person instead of spitting red vomit everywhere. Now it's Rankorr versus half the Red Lantern Corps. But Rankorr has an advantage: he can actually use the Red Power Ring to make constructs from the Red Vomit!

They do now! You're obsolete, Zillius!

Atrocitus appears to stop the fighting before 3 or 4 pages of comic are wasted on useless in-fighting. He claims the Red Lanterns are dead because the Red Battery has been destroyed. Hopefully he just means that metaphorically. You know? The old way of doing things is dead and now they need to learn a new way of surviving. Right?

Dex-Starr with Atrocitus' crotch.

While Atrocitus calls Zilius a fool, Bleez and her Revolutionaries arrive on Ysmault to overthrow Atrocitus because she got tired of waiting for Atrocitus to come to her. I guess when you're full of rage, waiting 30 seconds makes your head explode. Rankorr watches the fight in disbelief. To him, a human, these are all monsters and the fighting is horrendous and gory.

You know something? The Red Lanterns are a fucking mess. But I imagine a comic book title based on the Star Sapphires would be just as bad. Except instead of having every member constantly trying to kill every other member, it would just be panel after panel of hugs and compliments. This whole idea of having Galactic Security Forces that run off one single, specific emotion is just a terrible idea every way you look at it. Even the Green Lantern Corps has always had serious issues with the Power Rings choosing people with great Willpower yet no common sense (G'nort), no humility (John Stewart), no compassion (Guy Gardner), and no intelligence (Hal Jordan). Okay, maybe I got some of those names and faults wrong. I'm no Green Lantern scholar! But I think I made my point. Maybe.

While The Red Lanterns are fighting, the planet itself begins to tear apart. Rankorr seems the only one with his wits about him and tries to get the madness to stop. Because humans are, you know, different and special. Somehow.

I was low balling the time Bleez was off-planet with the 30 second line but it doesn't seem like I was off by much by Bleez's own admittance.

The Red Lanterns stop fighting once Atrocitus shows them the decaying Red Power Battery. They are all doomed a slow death unless they can fix the Power Battery. But they can't do that until they know why Abysmus, the creature that poisoned the battery, was brought back to life and by whom. Atrocitus tells the Red Lanterns that they must abandon Ysmault and search for a cure for the battery. Bleez thinks they should go after the Star Sapphires. Atrocitus is going after Abysmus. And the others, well, I don't know. I guess they'll follow who they follow. But The Red Lanterns seem to have abandoned their plan as Cosmic Punishers. Instead, they have a more personal mission to attend to.

This comic needs more Dex-Starr.

Red Lanterns #9 Rating: No change. This comic book has been all over the place. I guess Red Lanterns don't find it very easy to focus on anything. But this comic has been all prologue to stories that never develop. It's like a kid who just can't pay attention. First Atrocitus wanted to get his team under control so he gave Bleez intelligence. Then he couldn't trust Bleez so he gave more Red Lanterns intelligence. Then he wanted to have the Red Lanterns become bringers of vengeance on those who deserved it. Then Krona disappeared and Abysmus showed up. Then Bleez really was rebelling even though she wasn't before and it was just Atrocitus being paranoid. And then the Power Battery was poisoned and everything, even the rebellion, went out the window. And now, just now in Issue #9, it looks like The Red Lanterns are ready to get moving. It's like they've been packing for a camping trip and everyone is finally in the car and ready to go. Fuck. Finally! Let's see some action, Milligan!