Earth 2 #1

Hey! Didn't I buy this comic already?

I was about to read Worlds' Finest first. I had the Tumblr Text Post window open with all the search tags ready to go. I scanned the cover. I opened to the first page and thought, "Hey! I bet I should read Earth 2 first!" And then I flipped through Earth 2 quickly, saw Supergirl and Robin of Earth 2 and realized, yep, Earth 2 first. So now that I said all of that stuff that didn't actually need to be said, let's read Earth 2!

So. Earth 2. Ostensibly the first comic of the New 52 to take place on one of the other 51 Earths. Definitely the first ongoing series to take a look at one of the variant dimensions. The DCU has a long history with stories taking place primarily on Earth 1 and Earth 2 because of their crazy need for continuity. With the advent of Crisis on Infinite Earths in 1985, Earth 2 ceased to exist. Unless it was Earth 1 that ceased to exist. Unless they were merged. Whatever happened (this was a long time ago, dammit!), it generally seemed to cause more problems than it solved. Some of those problems were the children of the Justice Society, Infinity Inc (Power Girl being one of them). It looks like some of that will played up here with The Huntress and Power Girl being on Earth One (by some means which should be revealed in this comic) while the doppelgangers of everyone else will lead their parallel lives on Earth 2.

Also something about the Golden Age and Silver Age. Blah blah blah. Any history I try to tell will be so incorrect that I should just stop at this point and tell you about this thing called the Internet. Lots of information can be found on it. Or in it? Some of that information will be wrong (like mine!). Tread carefully!

I'm not sure who the narrator is yet. Perhaps Alan Scott since the boxes are green? Perhaps an actual omniscient narrator? Perhaps Clark Kent writing an article for the Daily Planet 2?

Earth 2 begins with a little history for the reader. Looks like one of the big differences between the two Earths is that the Parademon attack which The Justice League of Earth One fended off was a bit more successful on Earth 2. Probably because Earth 2 didn't have Cyborg. So the Parademons enslaved a number of countries but Darkseid and his army couldn't quite take over Earth 2 completely. The war raged on for many years with neither side gaining any ground. Until now because now that the reader is here is all that matters.

Turns out this last fight happened five years ago, so about the same time the Justice League of Earth One repelled the invaders. But this battle has been going on much longer than that one. Metropolis is overrun, lost. Lois has been killed somehow. Paradise Island and all of the Amazons are dead. Wonder Woman is the last of them. And the narrator explains that this victory over the parademons of Apokolips was the last time these three heroes fought together. Since Earth 2 would probably be overshadowed by these three big heroes, my guess is they give their lives for this victory. A DC Earth without the big three would make for a more interesting set of stories, I think.

The Huntress in her Earth 2 Robin persona.

Huntress is watching Batman's back and keeping him safe as he infiltrates one of the Parademon creation towers. I'll let Batman explain his plan to end the invasion.

See? Viruses and worms can be used for good!

It's one of those plans. I hope Batman is genius enough to create a destructive virus that can bypass Apokolypsian Anti-virus software because this is their "one chance" to defeat the parademon hordes. I'm not even sure if Darkseid has shown his face on Earth 2 since Steppenwolf has been the general leading the Parademon Army. He's such an amazing warrior that he and his army cannot be defeated in battle.

See? Plus he's wielding Black Razor. The only way to defeat him is to trick him into stabbing Deadman or Andrew Bennett!

Superman is killed immediately after this but in such a boring way that I won't bother scanning it. The parademons stick some kind of Octopus/Squid/Brainiac AI type thing on his head which causes him to explode. Or short circuit.

But they, along with The Huntress/Robin, have purchased enough time for Batman to get inside the tower. He's about to upload the virus when he tells Helena (The Huntress) to get away from the tower because it'll blow as soon as he contaminates its programming. It's a part of the plan he didn't exactly tell his daughter beforehand.

Batman must be fairly confident in his virus if he's allowing himself to be killed before seeing Earth completely safe.

Once the tower is destroyed, the other towers quickly fall victim to the virus as well. The parademons fall from the sky. The war is over. But just as the war ends, a giant wormhole opens in the sky over Metropolis with a lone figure emerging from it. Supergirl/Power Girl and Robin/Huntress fly through the wormhole and over to Earth 1. I think they do it because it opens up right in front of them and they just can't help but go through it. And I'm pretty sure this wormhole was caused by Mister Terrific coming over from Earth 1.

The narrator is Alan Scott. He's the president of Galaxy Broadcasting Company (or some other GBC) and he's the voice-over for a documentary commemorating that day and the end of the war. In his documentary, he said that Earth lost its heroes that day. But if Mister Terrific did come through, they've got that going for them! And I imagine Alan Scott is Green Lantern by this time, five years in the future. And I'm sure Jay Garrick will appear as The Flash. I'm not sure what other Justice Society heroes will end up playing a big part in Earth Two. Hourman? The Sandman? Hawkman and Hawkgirl? Starman? Was he one?!

Remember when the Justice Society was trapped in a bottle fighting to keep Ragnarok at bay?!

The backup story is about Jay Garrick. Surprise! He's just finishing college and breaking up with his college girlfriend. So he's got some time to kill! What a perfect time to become a super hero! Nothing holding you back! The whole world at your fingertips! That stupid bitch cow off on the west coast, fucking cunt! I mean, time to grow up, Jay! Grab the world by the teats!

Or you could just go pout on a hill in the dark overlooking the city. Whatevs.

While Jay is pouting and wondering what he's going to do with his life (you know, the typical thing you do when you graduate college. No. SRSLY), a meteor crashes to the Earth 2 behind him. He runs over to check it out and finds the God Mercury lying there dying. He offers his power to Jay Garrick because the world needs a hero.

Mercury visited Wonder Woman during the fight in Metropolis but I just glossed over that part until now. He told her that the Gods were fighting to protect the world but were all dying and he would be dead soon as well. I don't know who or what they were fighting, possibly Darkseid and his New Gods. But now Mercury has finally fallen and he's going to give his cute little hard hat with the wings on it to Jay Garrick next issue.

Now, I called him Mercury because Wonder Woman called him Mercury. But that's just weird. She should be calling him Hermes. Unless there is some different history with Earth 2's Paradise Island, the Amazons should be calling the Gods by their Greek names. I know, I know! I've been calling Eros by the name Cupid over in my Wonder Woman commentaries, so I've been breaking that rule as well. But come on! He's the guy who shoots arrows (bullets!) into people to make them fall in love. I can't help calling him cupid!

Earth 2 #1 Rating: There's an empty slot at #28 that I'll place Earth 2 within. I like the comic and I like the idea that DC is already mucking up their universe with alternate dimensional storylines. But slot #28 is near enough to the normal Justice League title which I'm really starting to like a lot. And this one feels like it'll be on par with that title. So #28 it is. It'll have to do some work on its own to climb the ranks and I have a feeling James Robinson will more than deliver.