Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Green Lantern Corps #9

Why don't all Green Lanterns get the battery shoved into their chest? What a time saver!

The Alpha Corps are the worst Internal Affairs unit in the entire universe. I've come to that conclusion after an exhaustive bout of research where I read no books and I barely remember what happened last issue. But from what I remember, it shows how much they suck! They're investigating John Stewart to determine whether or not he murdered a fellow Green Lantern (he did but he saved the universe by doing it!). So instead of taking him aside and saying, "We'd like you to answer some questions," they decide to destroy Guy's Warrior Bar on Oa and start a gigantic fight with Stewart. That makes them about on par with most Internal Affairs units. What makes them the worst ever is that John Stewart is probably the most rational Green Lantern that has ever existed. He'd cooperate in a heartbeat if you'd just sent him a message to report to a cell for questioning. He's a pretty good guy!

Okay, I just opened up the comic and John Stewart is accepting the arrest like I figured he would. So why the fuck did the Alpha Corps feel they had to break through the wall? I'm so fucking sick and tired of everybody in the fucking DCnU breaking through walls! Use a fucking door, assholes!

Guy immediately jumps to John's defense. In the old DCU, Guy Gardner was one of my favorite characters and this comic is reminding me of the reasons why I liked him so much. Justice League International isn't doing anything for any super hero in that one. They should all get the hell out of the JLI before the readership drops so low the creative team feels the need to kill another member.

Love the rats.

Stewart is ready to give himself up but Gardner and the Green Team declare that they aren't taking him. I think this is why the cover shows Stewart in a fight with the Alpha Corps! Because Gardner can't do anything quietly. But the fight is over in one full page panel. The Alpha Corps seem to wield a hell of a lot of power. I wonder if sticking the battery in them and turning one of their arms into a Green Light Weapon increases their power.

After stopping the fighting before it really gets started, the Alpha Corps show everyone in the room what happened on The Keeper's home-world when John killed Kirrt to keep him quiet. Gardner is stunned and backs down.

Even the Mummy Green Lantern is speechless! And Fat Grinch Green Lantern too!

Gardner runs off to complain to the Guardians of the Universe. Guy's trust in the hierarchy of military units is a huge flaw, especially in regards to the Oans and the Green Lantern Corps. He believes in the structure set up by the Guardians and trusts them as his superior. The Guardians are using this to their advantage. By manipulating and controlling Guy, they can get him to manipulate and control his fellow Lanterns. Guy's loyalty is going to cost him soon.

These little blue bastards are constantly up to something. I don't know why someone hasn't marginalized them! Throw 'em in a fucking black hole and be done with their bullshit already.

A mob of angry Green Lanterns forms and heads into the crypt of the Green Lanterns to smash Kirrt's statue, declaring him a coward. Guy Gardner goes all Jesus Christ on them and dares any Green Lantern who has never felt fear to swing the first blow. They're all shamed and they go back to their duties, whatever those are when they're not policing the universe.

The trial takes place but most of it does so off panel. Stewart explains why he did it but it still looks bad for him. A Green Lantern killing another Green Lantern, even with the fate of the universe at stake, doesn't seem like a gray area to the Alpha Corps. Later, at John's cell, Guy and John talk a bit about the past. Looks like Stewart has already made a few hard choices in the past that resulted in the death of teammates. I'm pretty sure he caused the death of an entire world one time when he couldn't cut the Yellow wire on a world-destroying bomb! Something like that happened somewhere! And Guy mentions how he just nearly escaped killing a fellow Lantern.

Ouch. "Hadn't of"? Do I need to point out the "of" should be "have"? I should also point out that the "of" which should have been a "have" wasn't even needed since the "a" at at the end of Guy's weird contraction "hadn't'a" takes the place of the "have" (or "of", if you want to be illiterate about it).

And then the verdict is in:

Oh snap!

Green Lantern Corps #9 Rating: +1 Ranking. I think it's ridiculous that John Stewart is being sentenced to death for just doing his job in saving the universe. But I have a feeling that the trial wasn't exactly fair and that the Guardians have a lot more influence on this Alpha Corps than they're letting on. I suppose Guy and John will figure out some escape plan. Then maybe they'll go on a hilarious cosmic road trip as they run from the law across the universe!

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