Thursday, September 6, 2012

Phantom Stranger #0


I don't imagine this is going to be a proper Origin story. He's got STRANGER right in his name! I don't think we're supposed to know much about him. We're supposed to read a story where he appears and he interacts with someone and then the story is over and the reader goes, "Hmm. That was odd. I mean strange!"

The comic begins with the man that would become The Phantom Stranger having hanged himself because he couldn't come to grips with the guilt he felt from a terrible crime he committed. If he wasn't such a white guy that was going on about disagreeing with Hell in the scripture, I'd say he was Judas. But since he looks way too modern and has a concept of Hell, I suppose he merely has a Judas Complex.

He's found himself in some sort of afterlife with two other people. They're all being judged by a Council of Wizards.


I suppose that's Pandora but I don't know who the shirtless guy is. Maybe it's Barry Allen after causing Crisis on Infinite Earths. And the Council of Wizards is DC's editors.

They're really trying to make it seem as if it's Judas!


Nah. He probably screwed over his business partner in his law firm.

And then they throw silver coins at him and they form a necklace for him to bear as witness to his crime for all eternity. So fuck. They win. I guess he's Judas. Now I'm going to make a little purple hat and cape for my cat, Judas, and call him Phantom Stranger.

The Phantom Stranger is sentenced and he wakes up back where he accepted the blood money. A glowing font in the sky instructs him to wear the purple robe nearby. And then the glowing font has one more message for him:


Okay, so he shouldn't be walking for too long. He only did God's work by betraying Jesus. He had the hardest, most important job of all and he's being punished for it? If he'd refused to betray Jesus, where the fuck would Christianity be? Oh, wait! He should be punished for helping spead it.

After a couple thousand years wandering, the font in the sky speaks to the Phantom Stranger again. It tells him to seek out Jim Corrigan. Is Corrigan somehow linked to the third person being punished? Or was the third person the Specter and he's soon to be linked to Corrigan? Because that's all this comic needs is two weird, wandering, no-point, mystical losers looking for some kind of redemption! The issue should end like an after-school special: "The power of forgiveness was there all along within your own heart!"

Corrigan's dame has been kidnapped and the Phantom Stranger assures him that he can help rescue her. But since The Phantom Stranger really did know much more than Jack Shit, he really shouldn't have made Corrigan any promises.


I bet that font in the sky told The Phantom Stranger to betray Jesus too!

After The Specter is created, the Font in the Sky (I better start capitalizing that!) sends it away to begin judging other people. The Phantom Stranger was once again used just like when he was used to put Jesus on the cross. Once this betrayal is complete, one of his coins drops from his necklace. Just 29 more missions to go! And the Next Month box says Trigon! I hope Raven makes a guest appearance.

The Phantom Stranger #0 Rating: Manipulaty!

Edit for those ready to barrage me with answers to the Trinity of Sin: I checked out the Free Comic Book to get the low-down on that whole shebang. So the third guy is The Question. Kind of weird but okay. I actually walked right past my comic book store on Free Comic Book day this year and thought, "Bah, I don't need a free comic weighing me down on my walk downtown!" What a dumb jerk I am! If anybody has an extra copy and wants to send it to me, I'll be waiting!

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