What the fuck?! Is this month's variant "Neal Adams' Disturbingly Fetishized Wank Covers"?
Superman finally gets his powers back although the kryptonite chemotherapy didn't fix his hair. It also gave him weird extra powers because that's par for the course whenever Superman writers go through one of their "Superman is too powerful" phases. He always comes back with new powers that should have just been given to a brand new superhero who wouldn't sell and then just disappear slowly over time like practically every character created in the Bloodlines Summer Annual Extravaganza.
This story had about as much plot as Grayson #16. Both issues really didn't cover a lot of ground. But while Grayson #16 was fun and entertaining and worth reading, this was a pile of horseshit. Unless horseshit has beneficial properties like making people laugh when the marching band squishes through it during a local parade. Okay, that's pretty entertaining and better than this book so maybe I should compare it to something else. Like maybe getting your genitals caught in your zipper.
Vandal's ten thousand year old plan relies on stealing the Fortress of Solitude in the final moments which totally makes sense since that totally existed ten thousand years ago. Also he shout a powerful laser into Jupiter. So he's either turning Jupiter into a star like in 2010: A More Confusing Space Odyssey or he's digging out the remnants of Shoemaker-Levy because maybe that was the comet that gave him his powers. I hope it's that one! I wish I could go into Harvey Bullock detail about Shoemaker-Levy but the best I can do is come up with the name without Google's help! I don't even remember the date it hit Jupiter but I was in my early twenties and having sex regularly! That's clear because I always yelled "Here comes Shoemaker-Levy, baby!" whenever I orgasmed.
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