Get ready to be disappointed!
I've really been down on DC's comics lately! It's possible that when I thought I was really enjoying certain comic books, I was really just enjoying my own writing about those comic books! Christ, what an ego on me! And though I'm going to be a little bit harsh on Batman right now, it's because I've liked it a lot for most of the last forty-eight issues! Now it's time to point at its failings and call its mom a whore.
Maybe that's going too far. I guess I'll just laugh at its faults.
Everybdoy knew that Bruce Wayne's return to Batman was going to be disappointing so nobody was disappointed with that aspect of this issue! Probably. Maybe some weirdo, average intelligence nutjobs liked how Bruce got his Batman back this issue. But for most of us, it was kind of crap, right? I mean, I suppose the entire Joker story began with the explanation of the deus ex machina, so I shouldn't be surprised that it finally arrived to play its part. But really? A machine that stored Batman's brain from just before he and The Joker "killed" each other? I suppose I have to believe it and not be too critical because I'm reading fucking superhero comic books. You win this round, Snyder!
[[MORE]] No wait! I don't have to totally roll over and take it in whatever orifice Snyder wants to put it (probably the butt since I said "roll over")! I have a right to complain! Nobody likes when a story pushes the fucking reset button and yet that's what just happened here. It may as well have been a fear-gas induced dream! Bruce might as well have been in a coma since the end of Endgame and his life with Julie Madison was just the fevered hallucination of a nearly brain dead mind! It would be so easy to just pretend the battle with the Jokerized Justice League and everything that followed (Commissioner Batman, the death battle with Joker, and Regular Joe Bruce) never fucking happened! It would be but Snyder screwed us. He fucking screwed us by cutting off Alfred's hand. Now every time we see Alfred's stump, we have to accept that this entire story actually happened!
Although maybe we can just accept part of it, right? Endgame could have happened right up until the end when Gotham City fell on top of The Joker and Batman. Then Bruce was hauled up and has been in a coma dreaming that Gordon was a robot. Of course we'd have to believe he was dreaming Red Hood Loves Arsenal and Batgirl and Batman Loves Superman as well! But that's okay! I think there's enough latitude for anybody to believe anything they want to believe! Because I certainly am not going to think of this Brain Transplant Machine as something that actually happened to Batman! I'd rather believe that the Adam West Batman series was a faithful recreation of Bruce and Dick's first year fighting crime in Gotham!
Anyway, that's my only problem with this story. I mean, my only problem is practically the entire thing. But it's something I can live with! Mostly because I have to. Also because it's just a fucking comic book and it doesn't affect my life in any way at all.
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