Save the princess. Save the...why the fuck is Heroes coming back? That show had enough chances that they blew spectacularly.
The media is full of assholes and idiots and failed writers who somehow still consider themselves writers when they're really just glory-holes for their corporate erections.
Enough of Earth propaganda, let's see some of the Citadel's now! I'm more willing to believe The Citadel's propaganda though because those Omega Men are horrible terrorist monsters. Just like the propaganda says!
The issue begins by making sure the reader knows the Princess of Euphorix is a mean jerk with delusions of kindness.
Speaking of mean jerks with delusions of kindness, why did The Beast's curse end when somebody else could learn to love his hideousness? Belle did all the work! I guess somebody loving you is proof that you're, ultimately, not a monster and must have exhibited enough decently shallow traits to fool the other person into sucking your monstrous cock. Not that Belle did that! She's a Disney princess! They only do weird things like shack up with Dwarves and use mice as Ben Wa balls in an innocent and non-sexual fashion.
The Princess is on the planet of Euphorix because The Omega Men had to leave Ogyptu in a hurry. I think leaving Ogyptu is supposed to make them like Moses or something. Now they're going to wander the Vega System for forty years before finally returning to their homeland which will be The Citadel's headquarters. I can't wait for Issue #480 to read about it!
Come to think of it, The Omega Men could use another woman on the team. And I'm disliking this Princess as much as those other terrorist scumbags, so she should fit right in! Plus her name seems to be "Princess" and she's a princess! She's perfect for the team.
The Princess and Tigorr battle across two pages and then the Princess tells a joke and I fall in love with her. Unless I fell in love with Tigorr. Maybe I'm just into them both and only when they're together and bleeding? Lust is weird.
The Princess stabs Tigorr through the neck and he collapses. Doctor Robot is going to have more neck surgery in his future! Well, well, well, Tigorr will be feeling fine. But first The Omega Men need to rescue him from The Princess. The next challenger is Snark. Was that her name? Snark? Or was it Scrappy Doo? I can't remember.
To get to the battlefield, Broot and Scrapps invent this move where the big one throws the smaller one! They should come up with a name for that move! Like the Catapult Special or something.
Scrapps shoots down Princess Kalista (we should just call her "Princess" since what does a "Kalista" do? That name doesn't fit the mold of The Omega Men!) while Princess throws her sword and takes out Scrapps. I hope Doctor Robot has prepared enough LSD for this many patients. The Princess's guards rush in but so do Broot and Primus, so everything works out in the end for somebody. The good guys, I think? Or are they terrorists?! I'm just so torn! I don't know who I'm supposed to root for! Although I guess I should root for whoever's side the Princess joins because she swoons my nether regions.
I have an idea for a new Birds of Prey comic book! Scrapps, Maps, Vampire Tig, and 2-6-8-1-7-9-5! Is that how you pitch a comic book to DC? You just list characters you want to use? Sometimes it seems that way, amirite?
After the Princess and Kyle begin to become friends, Primus calls for The Princess so they can have sexual relations. Don't worry, the sexual relations are her idea.
This scene needs less Primus and more Scrapps.
The Omega Men #3 Raring: +1 Ranking. Tom King is appropriately named because he is the current Uncle Tom of comics. I mean King! He's the King of Comics! Stupid fingers! Stop listening to the part of my brain that loves whim!