Last issue, Martian Manhunter voluntarily stepped into a teleporter slash suicide machine because he realized he was too dangerous to mankind to be left alive. If anybody ever took control of his mind or infected him with the Doomsday virus or shot him full of Joker venom, he'd be the worst threat to the world since those things happened to Superman. But unlike Superman, Martian Manhunter doesn't want to live at the expense of all the people who would be killed if those things ever happened to him. So the only choice was suicide! Or teleporting to wherever the destination was set on the Wormhole Generator.
As J'onn disintegrates (or transports?), he says, "Don't let them find you. Plea...". Then he's gone! Dead and/or teleported! But who was he talking to?! That's the greatest mystery of all! Although being that this comic book has a limited amount of characters over the last two issues, it's probably Mister Biscuits or Pearl. Does Martian Manhunter have a pet? He could have been talking to his pet.
Quick! Somebody activate the machine while this menace is still inside!
So a place exists in the DC Youniverse called the Martian Psychic War Room. It's possible that means this book is supposed to be silly and not to be taken seriously. Or I might be approaching comic books with the wrong attitude and this place is totally serious and super bad-ass. Whatever the case, a character I'd completely forgotten about decides to be Mister Biscuits' nemesis.
Wasn't this guy in the Martian Manhunter series from the nineties? Maybe I'm just creating new memories.
Okay, seriously, this book is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, right? It's a parody of the super hero comic book genre, right? It's satire on Alan Moore's work?
If humans weren't necessarily threatened by a guy named Martian Manhunter, I doubt they'll be smart enough to be frightened of a Martian Man-Eater.
The scene shifts to an Agent Wessel who is watching over a kid in the hospital who insists his mother was an alien. The kid is driving Wessel crazy with his questions and/or mind powers. I'm not sure if I should remember any of this from the previous two issues because my commentaries on this series have been particularly lacking. Martian Manhunter's ghost shows up to tell Wessel to run. But then Wessel doesn't run because Martian Manhunter touches him on the forehead and reabsorbs him. I guess Martian Manhunter not only has various human disguises around the world but actually has turned pieces of himself into beings who have no knowledge of their falsity. I guess J'onn has to collect them all now that he thinks the martians think he's dead. I bet Mister Biscuits is the heart part of him! I bet J'onn was mostly just penis.
Daryl runs from the FBI with the kid, Leo, in the back of an ambulance. Also, the FBI are not human but martians. But they're not part of J'onn so they're just kind of useless civilian martians. J'onn and his various aspects around the globe are the only weaponized martian which is why he is needed. While the others can cause chaos and violence around the globe, J'onn is needed to Marsform Earth.
Martian Man-Eater appears to try to collect Daryl and Leo. But somebody else arrives to save the day! You'll never guess who! No, really! Guess! You'll never do it.
Damn, you guessed it.
Martian Manhunter #3 Rating: +2 Ranking. It's too bad the first issue didn't have a larger hook to it because this is steadily becoming a compelling story. I'm not sure if the Mister Biscuits character was enough to lure most comic book readers into buying a second issue. I was all in with the introduction of Mister Biscuits but I don't suppose I'm a typical comic book reader. I'm better than a typical comic book reader. I'm a Grand Master Comic Book Reader. I've been training for thirty years so don't feel bad when I point out that I can read comic book circles around you. Some people might think they're also Grand Master Comic Book Readers but they'd be wrong. What they actually are are Mad Scientist Comic Book Readers and my mortal nemeses! All of this is to explain that when I say this is a well-written comic book telling a story that's obviously been thought about and plotted as opposed to dashed off without care or concern about characterization or making sense (otherwise known as Lobdelling It), you should probably believe me. I'm like that late night Mad Money idiot who screams at everybody about where to invest their money but I can't help you make more money. I can just help you spend your money more wisely and on better comic books. So trust me when I say this: spend your money on Image books. That's the place with the best stories going on right now. But if you're going to buy DC Comic books, then I can help you there too! This one's pretty good even though it's low in the rankings. It just got a slow start but I feel like it'll steadily gain each month and my feelings are almost always completely accurate. Wasn't I the one to say Maps was the best character since Vampire Tig? Enough communicated!