Monday, August 17, 2015

Catwoman #43

I'm a feminist with a freedom of speech problem.

Is everybody ready to be confused?! I don't mean by me! I mean by Catwoman's mafia problems. I'm not sure I completely understand this comic book but I'm going to pretend that I do so nobody realizes how dumb I really am.

Selina is taking the night off from trying to figure out whose loyalties lie where. According to the non-variant cover, she's going to a meetup with the new Batman. I hope Gordon remembers to lecture her and treat her like a child or she's going to know instantly that the person inside of the Honey Bunny Batman Armor isn't her fuck buddy.

But first, Eiko has to pretend she's loyal to her father before going off to stare at Spoiler's crotch. Or help her train. Maybe a little bit of both. Eiko and Spoiler hit the town at night to find out what Black Mask is up to. They know that some of his men will be hitting a gang that recently went over to the Calabreses. On their patrol, they find that some more of Black Mask's men hit up The Penguin's guys in Forster Lane. And then Eiko realizes Black Mask must be going for Selina, so she ditches Spoiler to go warn Selina.

Instead she runs into Black Mask who simply assumes that the woman in the cat outfit is Selina.

Black Mask might be surprised when he next runs into Selina. And Hasigawa might be surprised when he finds out his partner just shot his daughter off of a building.

While Selina and Eiko are out goofing around, Antonia pays a visit to The Penguin to extend her hand in friendship. The Penguin seems interested but only if she delivers to him Selina Kyle's head. That might throw a wrench in the works. Especially if Commissioner Batman squishes Catwoman's head into jelly when they fight later. I hope he remembers he's a hugely strong robot with no sex drive and she's just a dainty little female fuckbeast.

Shit, that other Batman most certainly doesn't deserve you!

Catwoman easily escapes Commissioner Batman's clutches because he acted out the encounter all wrong. First he actually tried to arrest her. Plus he didn't tell her how she was fucking up her entire life. And then he didn't try to press his robot body against her. And then he forgot to let her go. I mean, she got away! But he tried not to let her.

Selina winds up on the streets in a disguise which doesn't fool the man leaving the Lucius Fox Center for Gotham Youth who allows her a moment to hide from Commissioner Batman.

Who is this kind man and what did he do with Bruce's lectures?!

As Catwoman climbs onto her balcony at the end of the night, she's caught by Antonia. Selina really is crappy at keeping her identity secret. Although it might be a good thing this time since Antonia had climbed up the balcony to take Selina's head. Perhaps Antonia will rethink that now that she knows the family has a super villain burglar working for them.

Lastly, Killer Croc decides he needs a nearly dead woman in a Catwoman suit to liven up the sewers.

Catwoman #43 Rating: No change. I like this comic book much better when it's not all about crime family loyalties. I don't care anything about the Gotham City crime bosses. I just want to see Catwoman steal jewelry and try to seduce Batman. I guess this is the era where DC decided none of their characters should be recognizable. Superman is powerless. Batman is happy. Hal Jordan is interesting. Doctor Fate is Ms. Marvel with a cool helmet. Catwoman has become The Penguin. Wonder Woman isn't a feminist icon. Aquaman has been banished from Atlantis and is suffering from a severe priapism. Black Canary sings in a band. Batgirl is a hipster. Martian Manhunter is Mister Biscuits. The Flash...well, I guess The Flash can still run fast. So at least something is still normal in the DCyou!

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