Sunday, February 2, 2014

Supergirl #27

Not as creative a way to defeat Lobo as Hitman came up with but I think it'll do.

When does Supergirl get to become a Superwoman? I bet that's why Supergirl was killed in Crisis on Infinite Earths way back in ancient history. Because DC's Editors were sitting around going, "Why the fuck is she still calling herself Supergirl? She's like 49 at this point!" And they all laughed uproariously and lit their cigars and said, "Why do people even bother buying a comic book with 'Supergirl' when there's a comic book on the shelf right next to it called 'Superman'?" And then they all slapped each other on the butts and went off to try to fuck their secretaries.

Everything I needed to know about corporate culture and their entitled sexism, I learned from watching "Three's a Crowd." Holy fuck that show was a train wreck if the train were full of delicious candy and it wrecked right outside of my house, spilling its glorious treats all across my yard. Looking the show up on Wikipedia, it says that the show created such a backlash that it fucked Chuck Barris's career right in the ass in the not good way. The Wikipedia article states that it received backlash from the National Organization of Women as well as United Auto Workers. I'm sure NOW hated it because it was pitting women against each other and characterizing women as secretaries and wives and only being portrayed as a man's accessories. UAW probably hated the show because a lot of their wives began asking questions about all of those business trips they'd been taking lately with their secretaries.

But Supergirl is still alive so far in The New 52 and her comic book is about three hundred times better than Superman's comic book. She even killed Twat Lobo last issue which would have been very exciting for me if I didn't know Lobo's super secret power! He can regenerate! Yep, I know all the secret facts of the DC Universe.

Looks like Dr. Veritas knows nearly as much as I do!

Keep in mind, Doctor Veritas is an Omniologist. That means she's gotten her Doctorate in everything. And yet her knowledge of a Czarnian's regenerative ability rests on some gossip she once overheard during a Yoga class on Thanagar. When Lobo comes to and kills the clones that are dissecting him, will Doctor Veritas have to give back her doctorate degree? I doubt The University of Phoenix will demand it back but I will no longer be calling her doctor.

For some reason, Supergirl feels bad that she killed Lobo when she punched him in the face. Really? Perhaps you should have been prepared for this eventuality when you decided that a right hook was going to be your standard way of saying, "Nice to meet you! I'm Supergirl!"

What? When has Supergirl ever walked on an eggshell?! Omniologist my ass! More like Fraudgeeologist!

Shay Veritas tells Supergirl a little bit about herself because Tony Bedard decided he should explain some of the stupid things Scott Lobdell made up about Doctor Veritas. Turns out, The Eternal Maelstrom once mentioned off-hand in that special way that Scott Lobdell has of mentioning things off-hand because the only way he knows how to write is to link weird words together and pretend they're some kind of cosmic whatsit! The bottom line is that Shay cannot leave The Block in the center of the Earth and all of her doctors look like her. Totally makes sense if you understand anything Stephen Hawking says.

Remember when Hawking said he was going to put his dick in the mashed potatoes? That was awesome.

Also Twat Lobo comes back to life. Surprise!

Know who is most surprised? Supergirl! She's so surprised that she's knocked unconscious by a really loud sound. Man, I so get that. Fuck sounds! Sounds are the worst. Although smells can be pretty bad. Sounds and smells are definitely the worst! Of course, touching is kind of disgusting too. So sounds, smells, and touches are the worst!

Shay isn't as surprised as Supergirl because she was studying regular Lobo and trying to figure out what the fuck he was before he escaped from his containment center in Aspen, Colorado. So now Shay has lured Twat Lobo into "Xenocontainment Module 5" in the hopes that she won't be killed by him.

Is that this Xeno's name? Blaze? I think I'm going to begin entering rooms like this. "Tess!" No wait! That was too flamboyant. It'll be more like "Tess."

I think the main difference between Reboot Blaze and Preboot Blaze is that Reboot Blaze has chosen to lay off the hair straightener.

It could just be that "Xenocontainment Module 5" is hyper-humid.

Blaze will only help Shay if Shay releases her but Shay is too stupid to understand. Or too smart. Is it a good idea to let some dangerous demonic entity free just to save your ass from a dangerous non-demonic entity? It's the age old question! Shay decides to go "Hunh? What?" instead of making a deal and then Twat Lobo arrives. That's when Shay learns that Twat Lobo isn't trying to kill her. I wonder if Twat Lobo will change his mind when he realizes Shay Veritas keeps trying to kill him using Supergirl?

Really? So basically, screaming in somebody's ears really loudly justifies killing in Supergirl's world? Good to know.

Supergirl #27 Rating: No change. Don't get me wrong! I think Twat Lobo's greatest offense if being Twat Lobo! Please! By all means necessary! Kill the Twat Bastiche! Also, I made a new recipe this morning which I called "Chillet Mit Cheese Und Peppers." It's Chile Millet with Peppers and Cheese. I did not take a picture of it because it was delicious.

Guess what? Another freaking issue of Supergirl that didn't highlight her bum in a single panel! I miss Mahmud Asrar so much!

No comments:

Post a Comment