This comic book should be rated Teen Plus simply for making the focal point of the cover Harley's vagina.
Today is Valentine's Day (in the comic. I'm not that senile) and Harley is missing The Joker's face. But that's not going to stop her from getting cleaned up and hitting the town to find some cute guy that's not trying to kill her.
Who doesn't keep a stack of toasters by the tub?
I think I'm finally glad that nobody ever reads my commentaries and thinks, "I'm going to draw that!"
Masturbation jokes are my bread and butter. Also, bread and butter is good for masturbation.
I just created a recipe that you might want to try as an appetizer for your next big party: Goldfish Crackers on Cheez-its. Delicious! If you want to get really fancy, try sticking the Goldfish to the Cracker with a dollop of Ranch Dressing. Incidentally, I hate Ranch Dressing (and most salad dressings actually) but I know all of you American fatties just love it on everything! Ranch with Ranch (and maybe a side of Mayo) is the rallying cry of the American Stomach.
Apparently Harley's berries cause her hair to emit an aroma of pink hearts which causes Correction Officers to fall in love with her and crash the busload of dangerous criminals they're driving around, allowing the criminals to get free. That's a really complex evolutionary trait for a berry to display! Poison Ivy is really good at what she does!
A-ha! The Berry makes the consumer smell like whatever the smeller of the smell truly loves! Also more masturbation humor with that lotion guy! I just made a masturbation/lotion joke in my Batman and Robin Annual #2 commentary! It did not involve me masturbating to Robin, you perv. Maybe if I had made that joke in Worlds' Finest Annual #1!
Harley puts the "propane shrapnel bomb" in vagina. If you spell vagina "vapropaneginshrapnelabomb."
There's also this one pun where the final violent sex criminal is lying on his back and Harley is straddling him with her vagina right over his heart and he says she's "warming the cockles" of his heart. That's sex-talk, right? So she brains him with a wrench but she doesn't say anything witty like, "This should tighten your nuts!" Unless that's not witty. Maybe she could have said, "I'm done monkeying around!" Or, "The doctor said to take one wrench and call the funeral director in the morning to schedule your services because you're dead from the wrench the doctor prescribed and I hit you with!"
So Harley kills them all and goes outside to be confronted by a policewoman.
I bet there's either a "smells like doughnuts" joke or a "smells like beaver" joke coming up!
I was really hoping for the beaver joke.
Harley Quinn #3 Rating: +2 Ranking. It's just whimsical, wacky fun with large doses of brutal violence! But then so was Looney Tunes! Heck, Looney Tunes even had the same near rape theme every time they ran a Pepé Le Pew cartoon.