How come when hypothetical "Who can beat Whom?" questions come up, nobody ever wonders about this one?
Too bad this fucking battle begins by Superman extending a hand to Jonah Hex and saying, "Pleased to meet you, sir." See that? That's that goody-two-shoe's bitch attitude I was talking about! I think there's also a little bit of "Clark Kent wants to get a scoop" in there too! Everybody wants to read about the delusional gun wielding maniac that believes he's from the 1800s! It's a great human interest story! Just the kind of story that will impress Lois Lane's panties!
"It's all right, miss. I can see how, being from the past, he'd be mistaken in his belief that a man has to have testicles."
Superman acts calmly and rationally in the face of Jonah Hex's insults because Superman knows he's in no danger. He's not like those other heroes who constantly have to prove themselves, like Batman and Hal Jordan. But Superman still likes to one up people in a kind of passive aggressive way. It's how he's learned to deal with Batman so diplomatically. I should have put "diplomatically" in quotes since what I really meant was like squabbling children. Anyway, Superman decides to fuck with Jonah Hex by picking him up and flying him over Metropolis. And then he casually says, "I don't mean to frighten you." Oh, fuck you, Clark. That's exactly what you mean to do! "Oh, you don't think I'm a man, do you Mister Hex? Well how about I make you crap your pants like a big baby? How'd you like that?"
Superman must be a little bit tired of having this conversation with people by now. Although Hex has done it in the most entertaining way so far. Much better than General Lane or Batman or the United States Congress.
Hopefully this book is getting just as much love from other parts of the comic book fandom! It's not just me, right?
Such brilliantly understated dialogue.
At the exhibit, Hex sees that a lot of people kept his exploits alive. The tomahawk he used is here. A picture of himself with Tallulah Black. Lots and lots of stories. An original copy of Face Full of Violence by Amadeus Arkham. And finally, a stuffed figure of Jonah Hex that nobody has been able to authenticate. At least it looks much older than Hex looks now. That's a good thing if it's real, right?
And in 1972, it escaped into DC Comics!
Hex gets pissed off and takes off without Gina to find a bar to hole up in and get drunk. And then later, he hits the road on his motorcycle because I guess he forgets it's not a horse that can compensate for his inebriation. And that's how he ends up as a co-star of the next Driver's Ed film, Red Asphalt II: Highway of Agony IV.