Green Arrow #28

This fisting joke writes itself and then goes back in time to fuck its own grandfather.

I wish one of the hands on The Fist Icon was wearing a ring because it's practically goat.se with four hands. Seriously though. DC Comics has come a long way from the days when they got upset at Simon Bisley for drawing a penis in Lobo's arm muscles. Now they have a guy in ecstasy and pain from taking a fist in the ass right on the cover with an image of the person doing the fisting inset with a bloody fist! And under that a goat.se swastika! What the fuck is going on over at DC's offices these days? I'm guessing lots and lots of opiates.

The issue begins with Oliver Queen's father saying, "Surprise! Daddy's home! How's the business going?" And Ollie is all, "Um. Uh. Yeah, dad. About that. Didn't you say how you always wanted to be a painter?"

Oliver learns that his dad faked his own death and stranded Oliver on a desert island in order to protect Oliver. Then he forced him to have adventures written by J.T. Krul and Ann Nocenti to strengthen and toughen him for the battles ahead. It was the only way they could go up against The Outsiders and survive.

He's not the only one that hates you for what you put him through! Just think of what you put us through?! Two years of shit for comics!

Anyway, that explains away the first two years of this comic book. Although I'm not sure Oliver really learned much during his time being written by Krul and Nocenti. He was still a selfish, childish, immature brat during those times. But I suppose we have to fake it if we want to leave those memories behind us. And that's just what I'm going to do! I'm finally going to let this comic's past failures go! I will get on board with Lemire and pretend that whatever he writes is how things happened.

I should probably do the same thing for Katana so that when she enters The Outsiders War here, I won't bitch and moan and kick my feet the entire time.

I should but I'm almost certain I won't!

Ollie's dad clears up all the hazy bits and makes sense of the entire story so far. The only part that doesn't make sense is why, as a father and husband, he sacrificed his family to take over The Outsiders. I suppose he's saving the world or something. Although it might not matter since Kodiak finds them all and bashes Ollie and Shado in the kidney's with his shields.

He's a DC Character, isn't he?

Oliver puts Kodiak down with an arrow to a kidney and then he takes up the Shield Totem and coldcocks his father with it. Then he tells Shado that he doesn't like her very much and pouts off into the jungle.

Meanwhile in Seattle, Diggle has returned to Seattle to put a stop to Richard Dragon, Master of Kung Fu. He'd like Green Arrow's help but since Green Arrow is on vacation, he settles for help from Naomi and Henry. I hope he likes working with people who spend eighty percent of their work hours goofing around. Maybe that's why decided to team up with Clock King! So someone can keep an eye on their time cards.

And way over in Prague, Komodo (faux leader of the Arrow Clan) and Onyx (leader of the Fist Clan) stage a coup, killing Golgotha (leader of the Spear Clan and head of The Outsiders) and taking power for themselves. Little Emiko watches from the shadows and smiles. She'll probably be important in the upcoming war since she's Ollie's little half-sister.

Green Arrow #28 Rating: +2 Ranking. Reading a Green Arrow comic still doesn't fill me with wonder and excitement but I have to give it kudos for telling a coherent story about a kid that's been used by his father and everybody else in the world around him to the point that he no longer trusts anybody. He and his sister Emiko are going to have some huge therapy bills in the future.