Saturday, February 9, 2013

The Weasel (as seen in Batman and Robin Annual #1)!

Part 14 of an at least 52 part series of Who’s Who entries of New 52 characters (but probably a whole lot more what with cancellations and all).

Alter Ego: John Monroe
Occupation: University Teacher
Marital Status: Unknown
Known Relatives: None
Group Affiliation: None
Base of Operations: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania [Now Blackgate Prison!]
First Appearance: FURY OF FIRESTORM #38
Height: 5'8 1/2" [That one-half inch is a very important inch.] Weight: 170 lbs.
Eyes: Blue Hair: Brown

"John Monroe was a student at Standford University over twenty years ago, where he had little social contact with his fellow students, who, if they noticed him at all, referred to the unlikable Monroe by such names as 'weasel.' [What the fuck is that about? He keeps to himself and they begin calling him names? Fucking cowards was what those other students were. Did they ever try to get to know him? Fucking society is full of assholes. As soon as two people get together, they become oppressive jerks! Or as soon as one person begins a blog where he makes fun of Scott Lobdell's writing day in and day out. Sometimes oppressive jerks are born that way as well!]

Monroe's embitterment over this treatment led to his becoming a murderer decades later [Whoa whoa whoa! For fuck's sake, those students might have been assholes but that sentence seems to jump to a bit of a conclusion, doesn't it? Perchance something happened across those twenty years that might have been the reason? Or was poor fucking John Monroe just stewing in his own hatred for the assholes that wouldn't just let him be until he couldn't take it anymore, grabbed the rifle, and headed up into the bell tower? Um. I don't know how he did his murdering. That was just an example.]. He was then teaching at Vandemeer University in Pittsburgh, where several of his fellow Stanford students also had positions [Did Standford have some kind of program to set up graduates at Vandemeer? Are Vandemeer and Stanford sister schools?! I've been in the Stanford library before. I think I was called a weasel. But two decades isn't quite up yet, so I have yet to become a murderer.]: Arnold Lintel, head of Vandemeer's engineering department; Linda Walters, an instructor in music; and physics professor Peter Banks. To rationalize killing these three, Monroe convinced himself that they represented threats to his getting tenure at Vandemeeer [Okay. Now that the first sentence has been explained, it makes more sense. And tenure is definitely worth murdering for.]. Monroe devised the costumed identity of the Weasel and brutally murdered Lintel, Walters, and Banks, as well as Vandemeer night watchman Chuck Gherkin [Uncalled for!].

Soon afterwards, Dr. Martin Stein--the physicist who is part of the composite being called Firestorm (see Firestorm)--arrived at Vandemeer to fill a position of professor in the physics department. The Weasel twice tried to kill Stein, until Firestorm finally defeated and unmasked the Weasel [Isn't that a bit of overkill? Firestorm versus an ordinary man in a furry costume?]. The Weasel's current fate is unknown [He's busy biting through gas lines in Gotham!]."

The Weasal has no super-powers but is highly agile and is a fierce and formidable hand-to-hand combatant [Yes, just the kind of villain to challenge Firestorm. Was the issue where Firestorm defeated The Weasel one page long?].

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