Monday, February 25, 2013

New Guardians #17


I get it! Volthoom was the only other person to ever harness the entire Lantern Spectrum!

If Kyle Raynor can keep it together and use his Rainbow Powers, he should be able to battle Volthoom across all of reality. Volthoom has pretty much shown powers equaling those of a 5th Dimensional creature like Mr. Mxyzptlk. And I think Raynor is headed that way.

Just as an aside, I met Aaron Kuder at the Portland Comic Con last Saturday and he did a little sketch for me in my Big Book of New 52 First Issues. Super nice guy!


I love this little Kyle. I'm going to feel like a huge jerk the next time I criticize his art!

The Third Army Crossover ended when The Guardians used too much of the First Lantern's power, allowing him to escape his prison. Once he escaped, he took back all of his power and the Third Army disintegrated in an instant. Volthoom trapped the Guardians in a gigantic bubble and sent the other Green Lanterns home. The only ones he didn't send home were B'dg and Simon Baz because they had opened the Book of the Black and ended up in Volthoom's original prison with Black Hand. Now Volthoom is sucking off the emotions from the important Green Lanterns (you know? The human ones!) so that he can regain his power and bend reality to his whim. Right now, he's confronting Kyle Rayner, his emotionally spectrumed equal.


Volthoom is a fucking pervert.

Volthoom does the same thing to Kyle that he did to Guy in Green Lantern Corps #17. He sifts through a bunch of memories to change them and see how Kyle reacts. I expect a woman in a refrigerator scene in my future.


But if Volthoom keeps this from happening then Gail Simone will probably never end up writing for DC!

Volthoom gives Kyle a taste of his life if Alex had never ended up next to the cold cuts. The memory is of Alex walking out on Kyle as they're breaking up even though Kyle gave up the Green Lantern ring to be with her. But Kyle doesn't fucking care because he remembers everything and is just super happy that Alex is alive again and he can hug her and try to make things work. And then he realizes he can do more than simply remember his previous reality.


Once this whole mess is over, will Kyle remember this moment and duplicate it himself once he realizes he has the same powers as Volthoom?

Since removing Alex from the refrigerator didn't work out so well for Volthoom, he decides to change Kyle's earlier life so he never even meets Alex. He has Kyle living with his dad instead of having his dad leave him alone with his mother. But Kyle still retains the memory of Alex and everything that has just recently happened with Volthoom. I think Volthoom should just give up on this Green Lantern and go after some easier emotions. That fucking John Stewart is a basket-case! He could probably power up on John alone for centuries! The only thing Volthoom is doing for Kyle is giving him resolution to various traumatic moments in his life! Volthoom is the best psychiatrist I've ever seen!


It's like Captain Picard getting a whole second life in The Next Generation. Now Kyle has good memories of a few more moments with Alex and memories of how he and his dad lived together and got along. Volthoom is the worst villain ever. I wonder if Kyle will remember how to fix cars after this is all said and done?

The next reality Kyle is granted is a world where the Sinestro Corps won. A lot of people are dead but Guy Gardner is still around being a gigantic dick. He blames Kyle for letting the Sinestro Corps win. But that means Guy also failed! I know better than to ask why then is Guy attacking Kyle! I already answered that answer. Guy Gardner is a dick.

Kyle quickly realizes this isn't his usual reality and transforms back into the Spooge Lantern. And because Kyle keeps retaining his memory of all of Volthoom's realities, Volthoom tries a different, more honeyesque approach.


Volthoom is lying! He can't permanently alter reality yet! Can he?

And turning the page, Volthoom rescinds his offer! What a big jerk! He finally realizes the only way he can suck Kyle's emotions is to show Kyle his power and then promise him something he can't have. Once Kyle despairs of ever being with Alex again, Volthoom sucks him off and heads over to Red Lanterns #17.

New Guardians #17 Rating: +1 Ranking. I enjoyed the twist that Kyle retained who he was in Volthoom's changes in reality. Volthoom seems to control the entire spectrum which Kyle now does as well. So whatever Volthoom is, Kyle may be a brand new amateur version of it. And whatever Volthoom is, The Guardians were pretty stupid to risk freeing him since he has the power to alter reality. Perhaps the only way to defeat him is to make him say, "Moohtlov!"

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