Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Batman Incorporated #8

Spoiler! Robin. Is. Pregnant.

I'm glad the cover has this big spoiler on the front because comic book nerds are the worst at dropping spoilers (just look at my blog!). Standing at the counter in the comic book store waiting to get my comics from my pull box and they're all chattering to the owner about getting in more copies of this comic book. Luckily I have a way to tune out people talking about comic books, especially since the co-owner of the shop has a way of spoiling any comic book you look at. If you ask her for advice on a good comic to read, you won't have to read that comic because she'll tell you all the pertinent plot points right there and then. While nobody outright spoiled the comic for me (and I still don't know if this cover is telling me the truth), the fact that the shop was sold out and everybody was looking for this book has me suspicious that Morrison might actually pull the trigger on poor Damian. That would leave a pretty huge hole in the cover of the monthly Batman and Robin comic book though! Perhaps we'll find out that Batman Incorporated was taking place on an alternate Earth! Or more probably, Talia will just toss the little prick into a Lazarus Pit.

I'm reading this comic book ahead of schedule because I'm sure Tumblr will be full of scans of the thing soon. And if not soon then immediately because you're reading this which means my scans of Robin's death are now online! Oops! I spoiled myself!

If Robin does die, what's going to become of Batcow?

Batman Incorporated begins with Robin donning his Super Boy Wonder Suit and flying into Gotham to rescue everybody. He gasses the evil kids and saves Dick. Then he flies on to free Batman from the safe at the bottom of the pool because who fucking cares about Tim Drake and Jason Todd? It's not like they have anywhere interesting to be if they die. And by "interesting" I mean "worth reading."

Except I guess Damian trusts Batman's ability to escape the safe even though he's no Calvin Rose because Damian flies right by and crashes through a lobby window of Wayne Tower to save Tim Drake.

And Dick crashes through a different lobby window to save Damian! The richest people in Gotham must be in the repairing walls and fixing windows business. Right after the setting bones, fixing teeth, and digging graves career paths.

And once Dick and Damian find a bit of cover, they remind me that I should probably pick up some Preboot collections highlighting Dick as Batman.

Dick and Alfred are going to feel so guilty for allowing Damian to partake of this adventure.

A lot of ass kicking happens in the next few panels and then Talia's Batthing comes down the elevator to put a stop to all of this sudden heroic nonsense. It tosses Nightwing aside so that it can go toe to toe with the real threat in the room: Robin the Boy Wonder. I wish I could go back in time and read that sentence to my fifteen year old self. He sure would get a laugh out of that statement. And then he'd tell me to get the fuck out and there's no way I was from the future if I thought Robin could ever be a bad ass killer. And I'd say, "No no! I really am you from the future!" And he'd sneer, "Prove it!" And I'd say, "Remember that time in 9th grade when we were in the library passing notes back and forth to our huge crush, Marilyn Mendoza, and she passed one to us that said, 'You're weird.' And we passed one back that said something that I can't fucking remember but then she passed the note back that said, "I love you anyways.' And then we totally chickened the shit right out and stopped passing notes and nearly died and fucked up our chances with her?" And he'd start crying because that happened just the year before and the pain was still too much to take. And I'd be, "Um, yeah, well, I'd better be going now."

This guy already killed Knight. Will Batthing score a second kill of the night?

While Robin and Batthing battle, Ellie (whoever she is!) gets away with the World Meta Bomb (whatever that is!). Batman escapes from his underwater safe during the fight. And then the fight is over.

I don't know if Batthing gets this kill or not. Robin could have been mortally wounded by any number of arrows or bullets he was hit with by Talia's other thugs.

Well, it looks like it's Lazarus Pit time! Since Robin was biologically engineered to be Ra's al Ghul's new body, he should be a perfect match for Lazarus Pit resurrection. Although that's fucking Jason Todd's story. I guess there's always Amanda Waller's Samsara Project. Or whatever resurrection techniques Regulus and Basilisk have figured out. And you can't forget DC is full of magic types! Also, you simply can't count this kid down yet! He's a tough little bastard and I haven't turned the page to see if he gets decapitated or anything. Alfred still might be able to heal him by brewing an extra strong pot of tea.

Well, at least he's not pregnant.

Batman Incorporated #8 Rating: +1 Ranking. I'm telling you all: Grant Morrison plays by a different set of rules than all the other writers at DC. This (or something similar) is how Death of the Family should have ended! All the hoopla over that crossover and DC doesn't give the green light on killing someone. But over here in Batman Incorporated, Grant Morrison stealthily kills yet another Robin. Unless I'm wrong about the stealthily. Although I imagine this would have been spoiled for me a lot sooner than looking at the cover if it had been more widely known. I did notice that the cover on DC's website for the comics out this week was a different cover than this big old RIP thing.

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