Tuesday, February 19, 2013

In Which I Compare My Ranks to Actual Sales

By Sales
Comic Book
My Rank
Comments
1
Batman
1
From what I've seen by some of the other sales figures, it's simply a coincidence that my rank matches the sales rank of Batman. If this same amazingly well-written story was about Silver Scarab, it would probably sell about as well as Phantom Stranger. Batman is only number one because he's The Goddamned Batman.
2
Justice League
31
Admittedly, my rank on this comic is pretty fucking low for the actual quality of the book. But it's only #2 in DC sales because it's their flagship comic. Let's average out my rank with the sales rank and say it's probably more of a #17 ranked comic book.
3
Detective Comics
36
Here's more proof that Batman sells. Once again, my rank is low but only for the current incarnation of this comic which is much improved since Tony Daniels left. I'm pretty sure a large percentage of readers are simply on auto-pilot because they've been purchasing Detective Comics for twenty, thirty, forty years or more.
4
Batman and Robin
10
The quality of this comic has been constant. I'm glad to see it's selling well but who's surprised? The top four comic books common factor: The Goddamned Batman!
5
Green Lantern
38
My ranking here shows a big bias to my New 52 rankings. I really penalized comic books that ignored the Reboot and GL's rank has suffered. If you've been following Green Lantern for years, my rank makes no sense. But as I haven't been following it for years, it was nigh incomprehensible for a number of issues.
6
Batgirl
28
Batgirl has been one of those comic books that, if you're a fan of Batgirl and/or Gail Simone, you're going to love the fuck out of it. My ranking of 28 might seem low but that actually puts it in the Area of My Rankings I refer to as "If You Like the Title Character, You'll Probably Really Enjoy This Comic." If you're not a fan of Batgirl, you're probably not missing anything.
7
Nightwing
15
I've been reading Teen Titans since I first began reading comic books in the early eighties and this is the first time I've ever really appreciated Dick Grayson. If this is the way he's been written in the years before the Preboot, I see why he has such a huge fandom. I even enjoyed Tom DeFalco's guest run on this!
8
Teen Titans
49
This comic book owes all of its numbers to Cartoon Fandom. Scott Lobdell is trying his hardest to write the most uninteresting Teen Titans' characters I've ever seen. And guess what? Everyone keeps buying this book so it's never going to get any better! Yay!
9
Aquaman
6
I still have Aquaman ranked high even though I've begun to fall out of love with it. I like how his character is being handled but once Johns has used up the Black Manta stuff and the Atlantis stuff, what's next? Fighting Japanese dolphin killers?
10
Red Hood
46
Another comic book where Lobdell could fill the speech bubbles and narration boxes with gibberish and it'll sell. The Jason Todd Fandom will just keep buying this even if Lobdell began jerking off into every issue. Imagine how well this would sell with a decent writer telling Todd's story? Huge missed opportunity here but DC doesn't care because they know it'll sell.
11
Action Comics
1
I know I already have Batman ranked at #1! It's called a tie! I can't  believe Morrison's unbelievable run on this story is underselling Lobdell's nonsense. I'm so ashamed of comic book readers right now.
12
The Dark Knight
43
The Goddamned Batman. This comic has gotten much better though with Gregg Hurwitz writing it. My rank reflects the horrible state of affairs left by David Finch and Paul Jenkins run as writers.
13
Earth 2
29
Like Batgirl's low rank, it doesn't indicate that this is a bad book. On the contrary! It's just that my ranking system has serious flaws and a whole swath of comics in the middle of the rankings are well done. It's only when comics are ranked about 40 or lower that they have no redeeming value. I could see this ranked anywhere between mine and the sales rank.
14
Superman
42
If you're interested in reading a good Superman story, read Action Comics. If you're interested in reading a not so smug and well-put-together as Action Comics Superman story, read Justice League. But don't read this one. It lost its way almost immediately in the first story arc and has just been a sad joke since.
15
Batman Incorporated
4
Even though this one maybe reads better with Preboot knowledge (I don't know having never read the Preboot title), it's still spectacularly well done. The sales of rank of 15 is probably more justified than my rank of 4. Good book either way though, amirite?
16
Green Lantern Corps
27
This comic probably got a healthy boost in January from the Third Army crossover. But it's been a consistently good read from the start. If you're a fan of Guy Gardner, John Stewart, or the Green Lanterns in general, you're probably already reading it. If you aren't fans, here's the TL;DR: The Guardians are assholes.
17
Flash
17
Ding ding ding! I win! This comic is almost without fail beautiful to look at. It has more of an old school super hero feel to it. It's fun and, so far, a neat take on The Flash and his powers. Yes, I described The Flash as "neat".
18
New Guardians
24
This one has yet to settle down into a formula yet so I don't know what the whole "new guardians" thing is going to end up being. Hopefully one Lantern from each Color Corps will simply replace those asshat Guardians. Another consistently well-presented title.
19
Wonder Woman
3
This comic is worth it just for Azzarello's dialogue between characters. Also because he and Cliff Chiang turned Wesley Willis into a demi-god. If you like Xena and Gaiman's The Sandman, you should probably be reading this.
20
Red Lanterns
20
Like New Guardians, this comic has quite decided what it wants to be either. But that's actually fine! The Red Lantern comic book should be chaotic and blundering and filled with angry killing. Atrocitus is a frustrated philosopher that usually just ends up vomiting on dissenters.
21
Batwoman
14
This comic is beautiful and entertaining and it seems to be selling fairly well. If you're not reading it, help out its numbers by picking up the trades. You (probably) won't regret it.
22
Catwoman
34
The sales rank of 22 might have been appropriate while Judd Winick was writing it. But it's been a disaster since Ann Nocenti took over. Avoid at all costs! If you love Catwoman, let it go until you see another writer on it. You can buy the back issues after Nocenti is canned!
23
Swamp Thing
19
The best issues of this comic have been when they've been pure horror. I hope after Rotworld is over, Swamp Thing returns to its roots (ha ha!) and goes Full Horror. And hopefully Yanick Paquette continues on as artist.
24
Talon
32
I'm sick of The Court of Owls.
25
Worlds' Finest
7
This comic scores a "7" in Best Friendship. I think the sales rank of "25" is pretty good for people looking for some super hero action.
26
Supergirl
33
This comic is about at the bottom of my comics that I'd recommend if you like the character. Overall it's been really good and drawn super cute. But it's had too many issues where nothing much happens except a fight. The first 12 issues really should have been 6 issues.
27
Animal Man
9
I may have Animal Man ranked higher than its quality simply because I'm a biased sucker. even so, it should be no lower than Swamp Thing's rank. Both well done books and since they're inextricably tied by their theme, I'd highly recommend reading both (you know, even after Rotworld is over!).
28
Threshold
26
Too soon to really say. I like the idea. I like that Keith Giffen is writing. I like that Captain K'rot (or whatever) will be starring. I don't like that DC is pissing off the creator of Captain Carrot, Scott Shaw. But that's what the whole Reboot is about! Not paying people!
29
Superboy
50
Ugh.
30
Suicide Squad
21
I have at least one vocal fan of Suicide Squad that assures me each month that this is crap compared to Ostrander's run. And he's right! But come on! If you're going to compare a comic to John Ostrander's run on Suicide Squad, that comic is going to be beat thoroughly about the head and genitals. I think it's fun for what it is and I'm always happy with more Suicide Squad.
31
Justice League Dark
12
This comic was good although a bit lost while Milligan was writing. The comic found its way and became wonderful when Lemire took over. More people should be reading this.
32
Birds of Prey
47
I really want this comic book to be good. Under Duane I Seriously Can't Spell His Last Name, it's just been illogical with no regards to causality. The writing has simply been sloppy and lazy.
33
The Phantom Stranger
25
It's been pretty well done with some complex characterization (no, I'm not simply talking about the Phantom Stranger being Judas Iscariot!). It's still early. This and all comics beneath it sold under 20,000 units in January. That puts them all at risk of the chopping block.
34
Green Arrow
48
This comic book was a disaster under J.T. Krul. It was somewhat better under Giffen. It was horrible with Nocenti. But it looks to be on the rise with Lemire and Sorrentino. I wouldn't recommend reading any of this book prior to Issue #17.
35
All Star Western
11
If you weren't a big fan of Jonah Hex teaming up with Amadeus Arkham, shame on you! It's the team up I didn't know I was waiting for. I always look forward to reading this book. Get the trades! Support it that way! But more to the point: BEGIN READING IT WITH #17! 19TH CENTURY STORMWATCH featuring JENNY FREEDOM!
36
Legion of Super-heroes
44
Whatever. If you like these guys, maybe you'll like this comic. I've never been a fan and 17 issues into my first time reading about them, I still don't care.
37
Ravagers
45
Howard Mackie made a mockery of this comic book. He's possibly the worst writer I've ever read that was earning a paycheck doing it. What's worse? His editors didn't fucking seem to care! I don't even think they read his scripts.
38
Team 7
35
This comic showed early promise but it's just full of too many of the same character. A bunch of bad-asses that shoot guns. I guess they'll be getting super powers now. Too late, apparently.
39
Dial H
13
Really, people? Really? DC hires a real honest-to-goodness gosh-darn author and you don't give the book a chance? This thing is good and weird, people. Why are you letting it die?!
40
Stormwatch
23
It's because half the team is gay, isn't it? Jerks! Support this title!
41
Demon Knights
5
I'm amazed. Next to Batwoman and The Flash, this has been the consistently most gorgeous comic book of The New 52. Don't you people like eye candy? Also, a super fun story with great characters and well written dialogue.
42
Sword of Sorcery
18
It hardly seems this comic got a chance. The Beowulf back-up story was really fun with a creative future version of the world. And I can't believe this comic was canceled after the last issue of Amethyst where she was hanging out with Constantine. So adorable!
43
Legion Lost
48*
Tom DeFalco was writing this. I think I've made my point. *My rank it ended on.
44
Frankenstein
16*
I liked this book and it had tons of wacky potential. Sad to see it go. *My rank it ended on.
45
Batwing
37
This book had a decent initial story arc that went too long and was too predicable. After that, I really haven't been too interested in it.
46
Hawkman
52
This comic book has been crap since the beginning. Not one good issue here. Well, maybe one but I certainly don't remember it and I wouldn't testify to that fact.
47
Deathstroke
41
Under Kyle Higgins, Deathstroke was an amoral aging mercenary trying to maintain his place at the top of the food chain. It was going places. Then Liefeld flushed it all down the toilet. By the time Jordan took over, I just didn't fucking care anymore.
48
I, Vampire
22
Wow. This is ranked this low in sales? What the fuck is wrong with you people? Fialkov might have shot himself in the foot by flip-flopping the story's direction too many times in the first ten or so issues. But it's still been a consistently well-written book.
49
DC Comics Presents
8
I thought this was doing a solid job as a showcase book. But I think I know why it failed. Too many of the stories went for too many issues. This title should have been $3.99 with no back-up story. The showcased hero's story should never have gone more than two issues. It probably would have done better.
50
Blue Beetle
*28
This title was funny and well-written. Although it didn't star Ted Kord so good fucking riddance, bitch!
*My rank it ended on.
51
Firestorm
40
As a super hero comic, this book was pretty lousy. As a repressed homosexual tale of high school forbidden love, it rocked! Hell, Jason and Ronnie even got married at the end of the Zero Issue! I'm sad to see it go because where else am I going to get sanctioned slash fiction?!
52
Grifter
*52
Ding ding ding! Worst. Comic. Ever.
*My rank it ended on.

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