Why is Vyndktvx so proud about defeating Superman? That's like me being proud that I crumpled up a picture of a stick figure.
Last issue ended with Super Brand X Superman from Earth 5 (I think) being escorted into Earth Prime by Lex Luthor. Lex wasn't actively trying to make that happen but one thing I've learned from the Young Earth Creationists is that scientists never actually know what they're doing and they only ever discover things on accident and most of the time they're lying anyway. I guess they also taught me that if you can think up a theory in your imagination without any research or evidence, it's just as valid as scientific theories that are in reality laws of the universe. My theory that ghosts are just brains picking up other people's brain waves like a radio signal is probably true because I thought of it and it makes sense if I tell it to you until you're sick of arguing with me.
The other grand event that happened at the end of last issue was the Legion Founders coming back in time to help Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen bring Mr. Mxyzptlk out of his coma so that he can save Superman's fourth dimensional ass.
This issue begins with a sentimental moment that interferes with getting straight into the action! So I skipped it to get to the good stuff! The comic book doesn't really begin until Superman is getting beaten to death by the Earth 5 Superman with the Superman statue commemorating Superman's first death.
I like the spit curl image on the back of Earth 5 Super Brand X Superman's back.
So Legion goes back in time but they skip over to the "Superman Lives" timeline when they fix past events. The two timelines would be identical except for the moments changed by Legion and the repercussions of those moments. But in the end, who cares? Vyndktvx can change whatever he wants in either timeline and more without breaking a sweat. So ultimately, I think they still need Mxyzptlk.
Or events happened how they always happened. Or those other travelers on the other side of the overturned truck were Legion returning to make sure Ma and Pa Kent die before Legion can save Ma and Pa Kent because saving Ma and Pa Kent fucks everything up so that Superman dies. Or something. Fuck you, Time Travel!
They're actually helping him! Bah! Why do people always help Superman?!
Or help. It's hard to tell with that asshole.
The Sholly Fisch back-up story was a bunch of emotional pap that didn't make me feel anything! Although it might have made me sick because I suddenly need to blow my nose. Really, it wasn't worth reading at all! In fact, it spoils the end of this entire run because you find out that Superman survives! Oh look! Now I've spoiled issue #18 as well! It's just so hard to concentrate with tears splashing all over my keyboard and this erratic breathing.
Action Comics #17 Rating: No change because it's already tied with Batman at #1. Which means it's one of the best comic books of The New 52. Which is weird because I generally don't care much for Superman stories. But I do like alternate dimension and time travel stories! But I don't like stories that show future Superman getting to talk with Pa Kent one last time on the night Pa Kent dies! Sholly Fisch is a jerk that likes to make people sad!