Monday, February 11, 2013

Stormwatch #17

At this point, Midnighter is simply calculating the best way to die.

Except being Midnighter, he's apparently figured out a way to survive! He punches Apollo in the nose which breaks it but it also brings Apollo out of the fugue state that the Engineer had zapped him into. Once Apollo fires up, I guess he has the ability to fly out of Hyperspace. Perhaps it's only difficult to get into hyperspace (unless you're a Red Lantern and then you can simply tear your way in). Maybe to get out of hyperspace, you just have to aim toward Australia and fall.

See? Australia!

I don't know if Midnighter and Apollo broke up in Young Romance #1 by now or not. It really doesn't matter since Midnighter has been trying to break it off with Apollo for several issues now. And now that Apollo has shown that he doesn't trust Midnighter (why the fuck should he?!), Midnighter now has an excuse to make the break up stick.

But of course it won't! Especially now that it's the two of them against Harry Tanner and The Engineer. They're going to bond over trying to survive. And maybe they'll have to cuddle with each other to stay warm in the Australian desert. You know? At night! It gets really cold in deserts at night!

Before Apollo and Midnighter can begin cuddling, The Engineer tries to disintegrate them with a blast from The Eye of the Storm. I guess laser barrages also exit hyperspace easily enough when aimed at Australia.

Meanwhile on the Eye of the Storm, Jack Hawksmoor finally wakes up and decides to be a part of this fucking team. The only thing he's done so far is gossip with the occasional city. Maybe he's done some other stuff. He probably ran someplace really fast with his funny looking feet. But I'll have to keep being unsure of anything he's ever done in this version of Stormwatch because once again, he comes up empty. The Engineer opens up a teleport door and sends him to Brazil. The Projectionist jumps in after him.

Jack Hawksmoor needs to level up so he can simply talk to the Earth since it sort of acts as one gigantic city in space.

Back on the Eye of the Storm, The Engineer makes a command decision to wipe out all of humanity. Seems like a pretty good plan.

The Engineer knocks Harry down with compressed air. I think she's simply trying to humiliate him at this point.

So The Engineer has complete control of The Eye of the Storm and is going to use it to eliminate humanity. Jenny Quantum can't stop her because The Engineer induced some kind of continuous seizure in her. Jack Hawksmoor can't stop her because he's dying in the jungle. The Projectionist can't stop her because The Engineer isn't destroying the world with a blog. Apollo and Midnighter can't stop her because...actually, maybe they can! If they'd just stop arguing for a second!

I finally read the right comic books in the right order!

The person Midnighter is hunting down for help to defeat The Engineer is Zealot. Zealot was last seen naked in the bed of Deathstroke before he had to run off to fight Stillborn. Hopefully she's ditched that asshole's comic book since he never let her say anything anyway. Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that remembers Zealot was fucking Deathstroke anyway.

And since Midnighter is recruiting new members for the battle, The Engineer decides to recruit a new member as well.

You don't say "reactivate"! You have to say OMACTIVATE! Duh!

Stormwatch #17 Rating: No change. Is Stormwatch trying to fill out their ranks a little bit? Does OMAC actually have a place on this team once The Engineer is returned to normal and Harry is defeated? I guess Zealot is a natural fit since she's a Wildstormian as well. I hope she's not too embarrassed for trying to date Deathstroke merely to have Liefeld forget about her once Deathstork Deathstroke had sex with her. I still don't know if I like Zealot or not because she's only appeared in a Liefeld comic so far and you can't judge anything coming out of that fucking mess. Well, you can judge Liefeld! But you can't judge any of the characters because Liefeld sucks at characterization. And art. And plotting.

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