All Star Western #16

I bet part of Amadeus Arkham's obsession and insanity in later years is due to having once been poisoned by The Black Diamond.

A month has passed since last issue and, judging by the cover, I assume Amadeus is still in the loony bin but won't be for long. Jonah Hex has been recovering from his broken leg tended by a nurse in Arkham's mansion

The only time Hex wouldn't think his nurse was mean is if the nurse were actually a whore.

Jonah Hex has been stuck in his chair for a month listening to Amadeus's mother scream out her hallucinations night after night. With enough alcohol, I guess he found it tolerable. But now that the nurse won't let him drink and doesn't know how to make chigustie and won't jerk him off in the tub, Jonah has had enough of the madwoman. He brandishes his lucky Tomahawk and gets ready to end her suffering. Although Jonah Hex's nickname isn't Mad-dog, so I'm almost positive that he won't go through with it. Almost.

Well at least it looks like Hex found somebody that is willing to jerk him off in the tub.

So far this issue has been eight pages of Jonah Hex knocking about Arkham's mansion, dealing with boredom, sobriety, his nurse, and Amadeus's mother. It's eight pages I that imagine some people would read and wonder when the fuck they were going to get to the story or the Black Diamond or at least some fucking punching. But to me, this is what comic books should be! If only they still ran twenty-four pages, some writers might feel they could take a little more time with stories. To take a little more time to let the dialogue and the art show the reader what's in Hex's mind instead of filling a few pages with a bunch of Narration Boxes giving the reader the synopsis of Hex's current state of mind. And then to have the first appearance of Amadeus's mother and it isn't a disappointment! It's fantastic. The ancient woman sitting in front of her vanity. The vanity covered in old perfume bottles. The room filled with dolls and a cloying scent of dying roses. And her madness driving her to believe she is Jane Eyre (although, obviously, she's more like Bertha Mason) and the disfigured man that just entered, Edward Rochester, her love.
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Perhaps the scene could have done with a little more subtlety (like, at the very least, Hex not blatantly looking at the copy of Jane Eyre), but I don't think I would have made the connection without Amadeus's mother rambling on as if she were Jane. But once she did, it's all so fitting. Except, of course, that she sees herself as Jane instead of Bertha. But that's part of what makes the scene so nice. She is crazy, after all.

But it has been eight pages now, so it's probably about time Amadeus interrupts all of this nicely paced drama and tries to kill Jonah Hex.

Lucky for me, a few more pages remain of Hex and Mrs. Arkham's newly budding relationship. Having "Edward" in the house has calmed her violent and disturbing hallucinations somewhat, so Hex has decided to play along so he doesn't have to listen to her scream all night.

Ah ha ha ha! The nurse calls Hex on his romantic bent!

That last speech bubble with the malformed font is the return of Mr. Hyde. He attempts to kill Jonah Hex but the nurse runs off and returns in time with his pistol. Hex fires a few shots into Mr. Hyde turning him back into Doctor Jekyll. Or whoever he is when he's not an abomination. This is a Reboot, after all! Maybe in the Reboot, the book this was based on was Dr. Scrimshaw and Mr. Hyde. Hex wants Doctor Jekyll to live, so he has the Nurse remove the bullets and save his life. Luckily this nurse is actually trained in more than just making Jello for old people.

The characters in this book are so nicely done that I keep having to scan in full pages instead of one or two panels because every moment of dialogue is worth reading.

I've never fucking heard of Venus in Furs so I should ask Lord Google about it. But it sounds like a conversation that could get perverse right quick. From the very quick and shallow reading I just did about the book, it sounds like the 1870s version of Fifty Shades of Grey. The Wikipedia entry quotes one line from the book:

"That woman, as nature has created her, and man at present is educating her, is man's enemy. She can only be his slave or his despot, but never his companion. This she can become only when she has the same rights as he and is his equal in education and work."

I disagree with that last line! Equality in work and education is actually the easy part! It's not until women are equal in the sexual realm that men and women can truly be companions. Until women stop being slut-shamed by other women. Until men stop believing they're nice guys so why won't that cunt touch their wiener. Until fathers can offer their daughter a pat on the back and a sip of beer for "scoring" on a date. Until responsible, casual sex by either gender can be done without it being seen as baggage or a mistake or having been used by the other party. Until women are no longer blamed for a man's inability to understand the definition of "consensual." These things (and many, many more) are the things keeping men and women from truly being companions. And I use the term "men and women" in a truly generic sense. Obviously many of us, no matter the definition of our own sexuality and gender, are at that companionable place. But it's not good enough until everybody has figured it the fuck out.

The story ends with Jonah Hex tossing Mr. Hyde's Black Diamond formula (still sealed within its bottle) into Gotham Bay where it more than likely washes up on the shores of Arkham Island in another hundred or so years.

And then the best "Next Month" page I've ever seen.

I am so fucking excited for this. Jenny Freedom!

I'm a bit sad that Jonah Hex and Amadeus Arkham will be going on hiatus for a bit but if they're going to be replaced by somebody, Jenny Freedom's Stormwatch team has got to be at the top of the list. Dr. Thirteen is obviously the scientist but I'm not sure about the other two. Could Vandal Savage pass as The Englishman? And when the Lawman is revealed, I'll probably have one of those, "Oh yeah! That guy!" moments. [Edit: Glancing through my old Who's Whos, I think the Lawman may end up being The Whip!]

The back-up story with Tomahawk was more of the same although it was a better read than the previous chapters. I guess it's worth it if it gets even a few people interested in picking up a historical novel on Tecumseh.

All Star Western #16 Rating: +1 Ranking. I just really like everything about this comic book. Okay, maybe the back-up story can usually use some work but it doesn't detract from the main story at all.