Friday, July 13, 2012

Justice League #10

Wonder Woman has fake breasts? And Superman's muscles are built into his suit? I knew it! He's really a wimp!

This Justice League story is not about Superman's problem with masturbation. It is not about the time Aquaman had sex with a manatee. It isn't about Wonder Woman's first anal experience or Batman's either. It's not about Green Lantern's impotence problem. It's not about The Flash being a virgin. And it isn't about Cyborg because that would just be boring. This story is about a man named David Graves, and he is dying.

Or maybe he was dying? He visited a nexus to the afterlife three years ago to gain something. Powers, maybe? Or just some knowledge? Since he really is still dying (I'm sure of it!), I think he learned that to save his own life, he'll need the life of someone very powerful. Or at least their powers. Maybe. It's all guesses as to why David Graves wants to meet (or fight?) with the Justice League. But he's going to a lot of trouble to be prepared.

Well, if one guy can beat up all of your enemies, he might just be a problem. Especially having learned what he wanted from The Key and the Weapons Master.

During the Justice League's discussion about Graves, they realize that some of the members know a little bit more about the other members. Batman, of course, has done his research. He knows everything he needs to know about each of them but he also knows better than to mention that he knows everything. Cyborg knows a lot about everyone because if it's in a computer somewhere, Cyborg knows it whether he wants to know it or not. Hal is such a narcissist he doesn't even remember the things he once knew if they didn't involve him somehow. Wonder Woman and Aquaman are so of the moment that they only know what they've experienced first hand. And Superman knows quite a bit because he's got a reporter's eyes and ears.

After the Martian Manhunter incident, I suspect it's hard to trust even your own teammates.

It's at this moment that Graves teleports onto the satellite. They know he used Steve Trevor's access code because Cyborg set it up to trigger an alarm if anybody used it. It doesn't give them much warning though. But it does allow Wonder Woman to know that Graves has been fucking with her man.

Batman is checking out her ass.

David Graves stops Wonder Woman by shooting out soul sucking pain beasts that drain her of her life. She collapses looking old and withered. He does the same to the rest of them and he can't be touched by any of their powers. So his research allowed him to become immune to Flash's pummeling, Green Lantern's Power Ring, Batman's brain, Superman's heat vision, and Aquaman's school of fish. The entire League is finally taken down by a single man near death.

It turns out David Graves was granted some kind of undead pain sucking power from the Nexus of the Afterlife he visited, a place called Mount Sumeru. They infused him with the power to gain vengeance on those he believes killed his family.

Oh yeah! That's why he wants to meet the Justice League! Because he believes they were responsible for his family's death because they didn't save them during the Apokolips Invasion.

So that's it! After four or five issues of the Justice League handling everything with no problem, they're all put down in just a few pages. Now that they've all been crippled by their pain and their sad memories, they're going to have to think of the happy memories where they helped each other out to get their strength and vitality back. And Superman will tell David Graves, "We aren't Gods! We can't save everyone. But we do what we can and we're sorry we couldn't help your family." And David Graves will fall to his knees weeping and then he'll die of cancer. Or perhaps nobody will say anything and he'll just keel over dead right before he kills them all.

In the Shazam story, Freddy follows Billy on a late night excursion where he catches Billy feeding a tiger named Tawny at the zoo. Freddy thanks Billy for sticking up for the family. Billy wants to get even with Mr. Bryer, the father of the jerk kids at school. And Freddy knows where he lives. So it's prank time! Possibly involving a tiger.

Meanwhile, Dr. Sivana and his magic eye set Black Adam loose upon the world! I bet the first thing he does is tear Terra Man in half. Except he seems to be demanding an audience with The Wizard. He may get it but not before The Marvel Family does because they kind of need their powers or this comic was named incorrectly.

Justice League #10 Rating: +1 Ranking. I'm not a big fan of a super villain coming onto the scene and taking out the super heroes in just a few pages. But this guy has the powers of some Gods and he did a lot of research, so maybe I can forgive this one. Just this once. Once again, though, I really like the dialogue and interaction between the characters when they're not in battle. That's why the comic advances in the rankings.

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