Teen Titans #10

Does Solstice and her leaky ass have a smell?

At the end of last issue, the Teen Titans fled Antarctica and woke up on Mystery Island with a dinosaur threatening to make the next issue super boring. But Superboy and Wonder Girl woke up on the same island but on the other side of it. No, no. Not the east side or the north side while the Titans were on the west side or the south side. They woke up on the top side of the island while the Titans were on the bottom side of the island. Or vice versa. It's the Mysterious Mystery of Mysteriously Mysterious Mystery Island! A Scott Lobdell Jam!

Oh fuck. I wanted to try to enjoy this comic book. But Lobdell begins the entire mess by forgetting that NOWHERE Headquarters were in the Antarctic and not the Arctic! Does he just not understand the difference? Maybe he has brain damage from a childhood accident and I'm just being too hard on him. Perhaps I should tone down my commentaries because he has a severe writing disability which I should be sensitive to.

To protect his teammates from the dinosaurs, Kid Flash throws everybody into the top of a tree. Yay! As long as, you know, dinosaurs aren't tall or none of them can fly or anything. Kid Flash isn't really known for being very smart. But he does a lot of work. Hey! Just like Scott Lobdell! Oh man. That was mean. Sometimes I have to ask myself: "Am I just being a jerk?"

I'm sorry, Scott Lobdell. I hope if you ever Google your name and read this, I didn't hurt your feelings too badly. And not only am I being insulting to Scott Lobdell, I'm also insulting all of his fans because I've just told them that if they like this shit, they have no taste. So I'm sorry to Scott Lobdell's fans as well. I realize I'm way too old for this comic book. But then Lobdell is eight years older than me and he's writing it!

Scott Lobdell does do a lot of work though. But I guess if I didn't put any thought into my writing or allow for consistent storyboarding across the comic, I could shit out a buttload of comics as well. I even think I could enjoy some of his comics if he didn't make so many careless mistakes (like the Antarctic/Arctic thing) which constantly pulls me out of the story and puts me into full asshole mode. Scott, I don't want to be an asshole! But sometimes the world calls for it. With great assholishness comes great responsibility.

Okay, okay. I'm getting back to the story. Superboy and Wonder Girl climb out of the trap door from their goofy side of the island only to find themselves on another goofy side of the island. Wonder Girl makes friends with a dinosaur (because she's vegan!) and Superboy is nice to her instead of making some sarcastic joke. I'm not sure if that means he doesn't like her or it means he likes her? Which way is Superboy playing this? Maybe alternating between trying to kill her and complimenting her will work. Especially since she alternates between saying he's an asshole and he's sexy.

Elsewhere, Red Robin uses an actual thought bubble. That's always nice to see. He's busy scouting the island and he's wondering if he's being too hard on his teammates. I think he's trying too hard to be like Batman, distant and commanding, but that style just isn't him. Look at the way he dealt with Jason Todd in Red Hood and the Outlaws #8 (which, by the way, the scene between Todd and Drake is a fantastic piece of writing by Scott Lobdell. Credit where credit is due, mother fuckers! I just wish he would do more of that). He can be really good giving people what they need. But then he's still very young and insecure (I suspect from not being with Batman long enough) and occasionally acts like a rotten kid, as in Batman and Robin #10 where he hassles Damian and here in this comic where he just ditched his friends abruptly. So Bunker decides to reach out to him.

Bunker is looking fabulous.

Bunker ends up giving Robin some needed what-for and Tim Drake drinks it all in. Be the Batman, Bunker! BE THE BATMAN!

Oh yeah! Lecture me, Bruce! LECTURE ME LIKE THE SPOILED SCHOOLGIRL I AM!

That part where Red Robin suddenly disappears? That's Superboy and Wonder Girl giving him a Super Hug and dragging him off frame. Everybody is back together again and they're one big happy family and everything is currently right with the world! Except for, you know, losing Skitters.

Can I get a picture of this from Red Robin's viewpoint?

After the reunion, everyone goes off to the nearby waterfall to shower. Except for Solstice and Kid Flash who everyone forgets about. But they don't care because they're busy enjoying each others' company.

They're kissing, perv!

Eventually, the team discovers bits and pieces of Danny the Street littering the island. They gather them all up and find a message in a bottle left by Danny. He tells the team he'll take them home even though everybody knows he's in no condition to survive transporting them all. But the Teen Titans take up the offer anyway because better to be home than to have one extra friend, I guess.

I say bullshit on killing Danny the Street. Is the character just too weird for mainstream DCnU? What does it say that DC has one transgender character (albeit a conscious street) and they kill it off? Man, I'm going to start a blog called Transgenders in Alleyways! Nah, he'll be back. No way is Danny the Street officially dead. He just needs time to regroup. Or repave. Or whatever.

Elsewhere, Amanda Waller takes over the role as the next antagonist in the comic. Harvest couldn't destroy the Teen Titans. Can Amanda Waller? She's activating Operation: Meta Dead Stop because of what Solstice did to the Battleship in New York City's harbor. I think. I'm making some major assumptions here. But because these teens hurt and/or killed people, even accidentally, she's bringing in The Gardener to weed out some teenagers. Look for the next major DC Crossover: The Weeding!

Teen Titans #10 Ranking: No change. Overall, this comic book was far better than some of Lobdell's others. The interaction between the characters was more defined and realistic. Solstice and Kid Flash seem to be getting together pretty quickly but, you know, it's Kid Flash! Can't complain there! I think Danny the Street was put down because he's really a bit too powerful and odd. But I also think he'll eventually be back. Perhaps when Skitters returns from wherever she went.

I'd like to see Lobdell attempt more comics like this one where the action takes a back seat to all of these characters getting to know each other better. And if he does decide to get Wonder Girl and Superboy together in the Reboot, he's going to need to take his time and develop something real instead of this "they're attracted to each other but Wonder Girl is so mad and stubborn, boo hoo!" crap. Anyway, much better than what I'm used to with Lobdell. I hope this is a trend.