Batgirl #10

Enter "Street Gang Angel with the Horribly Swollen Right Leg."

Since last issue was a Night of the Owls issue, there really isn't much of a recap needed. The only thing I need to remember is that Alysia ran into Babs' crazy brother James and has not been seen since. Perhaps she hasn't been seen because Barbara has been so busy. But she might also have been kidnapped or killed. I doubt she's been killed or else Gail Simone is going to have a lot mail in her inbox about pulling a Women in Refrigerators on Batgirl.

First two pages: 15 Batgirl Narration Boxes as she stops some car thieves. She does more thinking than fighting. All of these stupid concerns about her image and self-worth are going to get her killed one day. Here's what she's concerned with:

Well, here's the thing.

"Oh, yes? The thing? The main thing? The big conundrum? The big whatchamacallit?"

Sooner or later, every cape in Gotham has to ask themselves...

"...am I being a jerk right now?"

"Do they really? I'm pretty sure Batman doesn't fucking care if he's a jerk. I think Damian knows he's a jerk and doesn't care. I think Nightwing has never asked that question in his life because he's a goody-two-shoes namby pamby and he knows it. I think, possibly, it's just you."

Am I just doing what the underground newspapers accuse us all of doing?

That is to say, am I just part of the system beating up on people who have nothing?

"Now don't talk like that! You're the one who was all for Bruce Wayne's gentrification plan. That may not be physically beating up people who have nothing but it's certainly marginalizing them. Move them all further and further away from downtown in smaller and smaller clustered areas where they can more easily be watched and patrolled by the police. And by you."

Is there no better way to handle this lot than knocking the holy crap out of them?

It's car thieves. Car thieves.

"About fifteen years ago, my friends Paul and Tony were coming home from a club. As Paul was dropping Tony off at his house, they noticed some kids breaking into Tony's car. Tony called the police and Paul gave chase tackling one of the kids. They were probably around fourteen or fifteen. Paul didn't do anything but hold the kid until the cops showed up. When the police did show, they told Paul that they'll take the kid in but guaranteed almost nothing would come of this. They even suggested that if Paul had roughed him up a bit, it might not have been so bad. So yeah, Batgirl. You're doing the work the police would love to do but can't because they'd lose their jobs. Rough up the car thieves, put them in the hospital, and they might decide crime has too high a price to pay. I'm not saying I agree with the violence that the cops are willing to overlook. But I am saying you're a tool of the system."

Is it worth putting maybe a couple of these guys in the hospital to protect some rich couple's status ride?

"I guess it is, seeing as how that's what you're doing as you ponder this whole ethical dilemma."

Normally, Cherry Hill wouldn't even have rolling thunder like these to get boosted.

Some big gala charity foundation ball at The Three Towers building's brought all the rich tourists slumming.

Even I find that a little bit annoying.

"Wait, what? You're against wealthier people invading the slums? But just a few issues ago, you were all for Batman cleaning up the slums, improving the buildings, and making the place safer. Guess what that does? It raises rents and property values. Old businesses are forced out due to higher lease costs. New and more upscale businesses move in. And that's what you now have! Rich tourists in the slums. Only the slums are gone and everybody goes, "Gee! This neighborhood is so much better!" But where did the poor and disenfranchised people go? Hmm? Let's take a look at your next thought."

But these guys have spread out a bit, sadly.

"Oh yeah! They spread out! They find new neighborhoods to live in and the poverty just shifts to somewhere else. The poor and the criminals and the gangs don't just decide to become wealthy because the neighborhood got better. They can't afford the new place and are forced to move. The bad element goes to where it can afford to go. Sometimes that's a previously nice neighborhood. What happens then? Oh, look! The middle class begin to move out! Those poor people are bringing property values down! And the middle class leaving in droves actually does bring the property values down. Pretty soon, the criminal elements move in because rents have fallen so low. And now you start all over again! Kudos to Bruce Wayne's gentrification!"

Two recent carjackings involved hostages, briefly.

No one hurt, thank god.

But there's a roulette wheel I can't let them keep spinning.

And so Batgirl's final answer after agonizing over it (while punching kids in the face the whole time) is to keep being a tool for the status quo. Hey, I'm not judging! I'm just saying she'd be so much better off just going, "Look! Kids stealing cars! I should try to stop them." And then if they run, let them fucking go. Or if, like in this comic, they pull guns and shoot at you or unsheathe edged weapons to attack you, put them in the fucking hospital and stop wondering if you're being a jerk! These "car thieves" are obviously dangerous!

And if you're truly annoyed with these rich people flaunting their expensive cars in this neighborhood, by all means use those cars to put the punks in the hospital! It's a win/win!

After she trashes the car and knocks out some kids, Babs goes back to Narration Boxing.

Pretty sweet cars, gotta say it. I'm going to have to figure out a way to monetize asskickings.

Perhaps Babs should be apprenticing with Booster Gold instead of Batman.

One of the kids gets away and runs into the stairwell where he suddenly shrieks like he's being killed.

You'll be okay. Walk it off.

Batgirl calls 911 and intends to wait with the wounded boy until help arrives. But some fancy shmancy security detail for the Gala forces her to leave because she's trespassing. They assure Batgirl that a medic and police are on the way and that they'll take care of the boy. Batgirl doesn't really buy it but she leaves anyway. If I were her or she were Batman, she would hang out somewhere close by and make sure the kid got help. But since the scene cuts to inside the Gala at that moment, I don't know if she'll be sticking around or not.

I don't think I've ever agreed with Lois Lane on anything until now. Batgirl is still young, so she's naive and idealistic. She'll get that nice coat of cynicism like Lois and I once she starts seeking the truth instead of warm fuzzies.

After the speech, Lois grills this woman, Charise Carnes, about what she really after with this project. Apparently this woman killed her entire family and was acquitted by a jury. She apparently sat and watched her family butchered in front of her eyes. But by whom? Perhaps the naked man with the scars and sewn shut eyeballs she keeps in a cage?

Okay. That's odd.

Back at Babs' place, Barbara regrets not having waited around for the medical team to arrive. And now Ricky (the young car thief in the bear trap) will probably end up in one of Charise's cages! Maybe this guy in the cage didn't do anything wrong. Maybe Charise is a cannibal who butchered her parents and now catches thieves in the area and eats them. You know, to keep her neighborhood safe. I think she needs to ask herself: "Am I being a jerk?"

Babs does receive a phone call from Alysia asking if Barbara will come get her. She hasn't been home for two nights but at least she isn't dead! I knew Gail Simone couldn't go through with that! Everybody in the business would be calling her a fucking hypocrite.

Turns out, my favorite character in the New DCnU (as I've said multiple times before this), Alysia, was arrested during the Occupy Gotham movement.

Oh my. I think I'm aroused.

Except Batgirl (and Gail Simone) seem to be on stupid Batman's side because Alysia thinks Charise Carnes is making the community safe the right way by getting the locals involved. But since Carnes is a sadistic cunt, that means Alysia is wrong about her. And if she's wrong about her, she's probably also wrong about Bruce Wayne! But fuck Bruce Wayne! How much money is he making by buying up properties in bad neighborhoods made safer by Batman? Conflict of interest much?

Alysia's speech did make Batgirl think about the people she should be helping though. She realizes she's tired of helping the rich protect their shit. She wants to help other people just trying to learn how to live in Gotham and survive however they can. So she goes back to find Ricky.

Oh look! There he is!

These are the same people who forced Batgirl off the Three Towers property. They've amputated Ricky's leg and now ask Batgirl if she'd like to join their group in taking back Gotham. They call themselves The Disgraced! They drop Ricky from the building to test Barbara and see if she'll join with them in their little vigilante club. When Batgirl jumps off the building to save Ricky, she fails the test.

Batgirl saves Ricky who manages to hobble away when Batgirl is attacked by the rest of The Disgraced. It seems they don't like sharing Gotham with vigilantes who don't kill thugs and miscreants and jaywalkers and litterbugs.

Fuck. Gotham is getting way too crowded.

Batgirl #10 Rating: +1 Ranking. I enjoyed this episode of Batgirl. The last issue, Night of the Owls, wasn't nearly as interesting and I gave it a stupid +1 Ranking. What was I thinking? I must have been euphoric after eating the ton of grease in my spinach-cheese balls that day. And I know I'm giving Bruce Wayne a hard time in this comic about gentrification. I'm just busting his balls! I know if someone can find a way to make Gotham City work for everyone except the criminals, it'll be Batman. I only say that though because I know Alfred will guide his every move.