Green Lantern Corps #10

John Stewart's pecs are higher than his shoulders. Gross.

Here's everything you need to know about last issue:

Who's the asshole judge reading the sentence? Do they have to scream "DEATH!" at this poor bastard? What a fucking dick penis. That means he's the dick of a dick!

Pretty much every member of the Corps is shocked by this decision. Although I'm not sure why. What Guardians have they been working for all these years? Because the Guardians I've been reading about have been galactic douchebags for about ninety percent of my time reading comics. And these Alpha Lanterns are merely their police force puppets. I think Guy Gardner is going to lead a way of every single Green Lantern against the five or so Alpha Lanterns. I forget how many there are.

This whole Green Lantern Internal Affairs thing is stupid. They have a stupid chant. They have a stupid power trip. They're stupid pawns. I wonder if the Green Lantern Corps has a Human Resource Corps that shows films about sexual harassment and sucks all of the fun out of the Oan Offices?

John Stewart is too noble for his own good. He's resigned to die so he asks the Alpha Lanterns for one last request: to apologize to Kirrt's parents.

The Guardians of the Universe hate black people. And white people. And purple people. And orange people. And yellow people. And red people. And indigo people. And violet people. And green people.

Interestingly enough, The Guardians of the Universe don't agree with the Alpha Lanterns choosing a death sentence. The Alphas believe it will deter other Green Lanterns from making difficult decisions to save the universe from putting aside their ethics and morals whenever it suits them. But the Guardians disagree. I think the Guardians are just nerds that love to play devil's advocate because they're insulting twats that can't assume that other people can actually come to decisions through thoughtful analysis.

That last Guardian looks like a Garbage Pail Kid.

During this meeting, the Alpha Lanterns consult with the Guardians about how to carry out John's sentence. They can't come to a consensus so Gardner tells the Alphas that they made the judgment, they should carry it out. The Guardians agree. The Alpha Lanterns will have to kill John.

Later, Guy brings John his last meal.

Damn, that's pretty close to what my last meal would be. Although I'd trade out the Chicken Tikka Masala for a veggie paneer dish or maybe some sort of vindaloo.

As John begins pouring his cereal, a gigantic green axe chops the tower in two and Kilowog and a bunch of other Lanterns charge in to help break Stewart out. Stewart still doesn't want to fight but since his ring is out of power, there isn't much he can do but be dragged away by Guy. Gardner just isn't going to let John do the Gandhi thing.

Guy flies John out to the main Power Battery where John still refuses to charge his ring. So Gardner knocks him out in one punch (Stewart has a glass jaw too? Does it hurt more being punched in the face by a Green Lantern using his ring for additional power or by Batman? Yeah, yeah. We all know the answer to that!) and charges John ring for him. Then Gardner flies off with John while Kilowog and the others keep up the distraction. Except they didn't count on one thing (I think?): the Alpha Lanterns have the ability to tap the Central Battery and shut down the rings of other Green Lanterns. Whoops!

Green Lantern Corps #10 Rating: +1 Ranking. Tomasi has been absolutely consistent on both Green Lantern Corps and Batman and Robin. The stories might not be revolutionary but they're well crafted and the characters have been handled well. Guy Gardner in this book is flawed and heroic and fantastic. Guy Gardner in JLI is just abrasive and useless. This is a solid comic.