All Star Batman #9

I hope this literally happens in the comic book.

The Review!
Why does this comic book cost $4.99? Is it because the cover is stiffer than other covers? I bet I could make a really immature joke about that if I were more immature! But I've grown as a writer. Otherwise I would have pointed out that, on the cover, Ra's is about to use the Washington Monument as a Bat-Butt-Plug.

The issue begins by hoping the reader hasn't ever heard of that René Margaret's painting of a pipe that isn't a pipe. Or maybe it's hoping that you've heard of it so that when you read "This is not a Batman story," you instantly think, "Hey! That's totally artsy fartsy! Like that art movement where Marcel Dumbchump admired urinals and people smoked pipes that weren't pipes!" Maybe this is the first DC Comic book to have Dada Issues?

Before any Actually Nerds actually me, I know Morrison's run of Doom Patrol dealt with Dada Issues.

Since this isn't a Batman story, I now have to use my brain to figure out what the story is actually about! Dammit! I hate using my brain.

That tower isn't a tower.

Whoever is behind the end of the world (according to the cover, Ra's, I guess?), tells Batman that the three previous issues were just informative displays to teach Batman about the three most likely ways the world will end. The first two choices make sense: cataclysm and plague. But the third way he says the world will end is solipsism. That only makes sense if you're a pretentious asshole who is claiming that it makes sense. Does the world end when one believes that they can't truly know it because it resides outside of themselves? Maybe but not in the same way the world ends with a cataclysm or a plague. I don't think you can say the world ends with a philosophical argument. I mean, sure, anytime somebody starts speaking philosophically to me, I want the world to end! But it doesn't. The person just goes on and on and on, philosophically masturbating into my ears. Sometimes I shit myself just so I have an excuse to leave the room.

Ra's tells Batman that he used to think the Washington Monutower was a sword. But now he thinks it looks like a penis. He says "pen" but I know that's just because he didn't get to finish his thought. Obviously he's thinking it's a penis and he's going to use it to fuck Batman. Remember, this isn't a Batman story! That must mean it's slash fanfic.

Bruce and Ra's wind up battling inside the Washington Penis for the fate of the world. I know this isn't really slash fanfic so my mind is still trying to figure out what kind of story this is if it's not a Batman story. Could it be a Superman story? What other kinds of stories does DC Comics tell?

Ra's winds up shooting Batman in the face and shooting Duke in the back of the head and ending the world with his techno-demons. That's why it's not a Batman story! Because it's a Ra's story! It's the story where he wins! Except he can't win, right? I didn't see "Elseworlds" on the cover. So I guess Ra's is probably living some kind of delusional life the way Batman lived one in the last issue.

See? It actually was a Batman story! Just like the pipe is actually a pipe even though it isn't a pipe also at the same time!

Batman is all, "This is a Batman story after all!" Oh man! And I thought I was going to have to use my brain to figure out what kind of story it really was. What a great big trick Scott Snyder just pulled on all of us! He totally wanted us to believe it wasn't a Batman story so we'd be surprised when the Batman book we purchased actually turned out to be a Batman story! Unless...whoa. What if he was telling the truth from the beginning? What if this really never was a Batman story?! That means I need to figure out what the fuck I just read.

Ra's flies away on a Man-bat while Bruce falls out of the Washington Manupenis. But he's caught by an actual Blackhawk! So now he knows the Blackhawks really do exist even if they're supposed to be a super secret undercover black ops team! I guess they don't mind if Bruce knows they exist. He might figure out a way to send them a check.

After the story ends with a shocking twist horror movie ending that probably won't actually pan out in any way or mean anything more than a phone battery dying, the Cursed Wheel backup story is finally going to end. It's supposed to be telling me why I should like Duke Dukington. It hasn't been working so far.

And it still doesn't work. The Riddler puzzle doesn't make any sense. I don't remember why Zsasz was part of this. I don't care about Duke's parents and I don't know why this Daryl guy (his cousin? Bloom? I don't remember!) is harping on him to admit that Duke's got super powers. Apparently Duke does have super powers. He can see people as spaghetti beings. Then Batman solves the riddle that was supposed to be solved or something and something and I don't know what's going on. I'm guessing this story makes sense if it's all read at one time instead of a full month between reading each part. Also, this isn't the end like it says it's the end. The stupid story continues in some shit called Dark Days: The Forge.

The Ranking!
No change. Scott Snyder really doesn't write as well as I thought he wrote five years ago.

Detective Comics #27

This is a big comic book! It must have thousands of jokes inside of it!

This issue of Batman: Detective Comics contains seven jokes. We will begin by reading the first joke. It is called "The Case of the Chemical Syndicate." That does not sound particularly funny. It sounds like a mystery! Some mysteries are funny though! Like the one called Murder By Death. That one is very funny. At least it was very funny when I was twelve years old. Perhaps it is not as funny now as it was then.

The joke begins with Batman interviewing himself. The first question that Batman asks Batman is, "Why do I do this?" He has a very funny answer for this question! He does it so that nobody else has to witness their parents shot down in cold blood in a moonlit alley full of rats and garbage. That is not the funny part. This is the funny part:

Ah! But you would not do it as well, would you?

Perhaps Bruce would be just as good a Batman if he were poor as if he were rich. Did he not travel the world learning everything he could learn without touching any of his family money? Sure, he always knew he could pick up the phone and Alfred would arrive to save the day with a pocket full of cash and some Toblerone. And it was probably easier to learn how to defeat hundreds of opponents in the pit of death without killing any of them when you knew you had a really big house with a super comfy bed waiting for you at the end of it. I think without money, Bruce would still have been a good Batman. But without his good looks and his charms (by charms I mean succulent penis)? That's a wholly different matter. How would he have learned secret assassination and poisoning skills if he had not been able to seduce all of the top women assassins in the world? He would not have learned them! He would have been arrested for sexual harassment.

Batman continues to answer his own question because he cannot get enough of hearing himself speak.

That is a stereotype and probably racist to boot.

Batman faces a lot of criminals that are not cowardly nor are they superstitious either. Or neither maybe. Perhaps that is why Gotham seems to be so full of lunatics. It is because the regular criminals have been scared out of town by the rumors of a crazed man that roams the night breaking people's bones. Batman believes they are scared of his bat-like appearance. But the thing they are really terrified of are the medical bills.

Batman finds himself on a case hunting down some guy killing partners of the A.C.E. Chemical business. But the two partners that are left get their speech balloons mixed up halfway through their conversation and it's really fucking confusing. Hopefully Batman is smart enough to straighten things out right after he crashes through another skylight.

Perhaps Batman will also find out who stole some of his Narration Box Bat Symbols and decided to give those answers I've been scanning in because the next one Batman says is, "I do it because it secretly thrills me." That doesn't sound like something Batman would admit to! Also, Batman's Narration Boxes have been in dark grey and have not been funny at all. The yellowish Narration Boxes have been full of jokes so they could not be by Batman. Not one of them. Perhaps they are by somebody that goes by the name Mr. Jokes?

See? The Gray Boxes are not funny at all. The other box is kind of funny. If you think about it and somebody explains the joke to you later.

Batman saves the innocent guy and doesn't let the guilty guy get away so I guess it wasn't a very tough choice after all. Batman kicks the guilty guy into a vat of chemicals and completes his crazy journal entry. It is his first entry in his Bat-Diary so I guess that is why it is so funny. This was before Batman remembered he was not supposed to have a sense of humor. But he would learn that it is nothing to laugh about. I don't know what "it" is but believe me, it is not funny. Not at all. But the guilty man that later climbs out of the chemical vat thinks it is funny! He thinks everything is funny! Ha ha! It is all a big laugh! Life! The universe! The chaotic randomness of existence! Oh ha ha! You can only laugh at such things!

Also, this story makes no sense because it is not The New 52 Joker's origin at all! Not even close! It is an old origin of The Joker! This is a story from another world and another time! It is from Preboot Earth! No, no! It is from Pre-Crisis on Preboot Earth! It is a big fat lie! That must be why they got a writer that looks like Lex Luthor to pen this story! So that nobody would believe it. They would read it and say, "Is this a true joke?" And they would look at the guy who wrote it and they would laugh. They would say, "Ha ha! I get it! Lex Luthor is a liar!" And then they would read the next joke in the book which is called "Old School."

You can tell the next story is also a Pre-Crisis on Preboot Earth because it is full of Ben-Day Dots and the criminals are carrying bags with dollar signs on them. Since Jim Lee and Roger Liefeld and Kirk McFarland showed everybody how to scribble lines all over everything, most comic book artists have given up using Ben-Day Dots. And banks have not given out cash in bags with dollar signs on them since the early sixties.

Robin is distracting the criminals with his sexy cheesecake pose.

After the criminals manage to outrun Batman and Robin, Robin learns that Batman films everything that happens with a tiny camera on his belt. Oh ho! Robin sighs a sigh of relief that the internet has not yet been invented yet or else Batman might post some inappropriate videos of Robin changing into his costume. Not to mention other things that I won't mention because the law frowns on pedophilia fan-fiction and I am not interested in writing any of that anyway even if I was going to say, "Ha ha! It was all a big joke!" afterward. I would feel like a criminal myself if I described Robin's throbbing boy member and what Batman would like to do with it. Besides, Batman and Robin's friendship is entirely platonic and I would not like to join the camp of people who think otherwise because they are gigantic jerks sullying the reputation of two great heroes.

I have more clues that this story is from the Pre-Crisis on Preboot Earth if you needed any more! Batman's camera is not digital at all! And he does not have a Bat-Computer to do his work for him! Instead, he must call Commissioner Gordon and have him do the research! Also Batman gets called "mack" and that is a bad word from the olden days that nobody uses anymore. Even The Penguin happens along to point out that Batman and Robin need to update their schtick because they keep telegraphing their moves by speaking them!

But then the Scarecrow comes along and says, "I can read your thought bubbles, you jerks!" So that is what this story is all about! It is the origin of the Narration Boxes! I hate this story. This is not a funny story at all. It is a bad story! It is a very bad story!

Eventually Batman wakes up because it was not just a bad story, it was also a bad dream! Too bad I cannot wake up from it as well!

The next joke is called "Better Days" and it takes place when Batman is seventy-five years old. Or older. Or younger. But probably the first one.

Why is Damian using Alfred's head as a belt buckle? Is nobody else upset about this?

Bruce's guests are Dick Grayson and Tim Drake and Babs Gordon and Alfred Pennyworth and Damian Wayne. They must have forgiven him for telling The Joker all of their secrets. I wonder if The Joker will bring a present?

The fourth joke is called "Rain." I think I know this joke! "Knock knock!" "Who is there? Is it you? The person I have been waiting for to return my love? Is it the person that makes my heart race and the tears to fall? Is it you?" "No, it is only shadows on my doorstep. It is only cloudy images on my window pane. It is only rain."

Except that joke does not have Batman in it, so I might be wrong. Let us see if their joke contains The Batman!

Oh! It does have Batman! And it is a very funny joke indeed! See Batman save the psychopath?! See! See!

Also, the previous joke was supposed to be called "Hero" in the Table of Contents but then it was not called that at all.

The fifth joke is called "The Sacrifice" and it stars The Phantom Stranger. He is not very funny anymore. He played a big prank two thousand years ago and that was the last joke he ever made. He said, "Why are you not laughing Jesus? Don't you think it was a funny kiss? Can you not take a joke, Jesus?" And Jesus said, "Forgive them for they know not what they laugh at." And Judas said, "Oh boy! That prank really took a wrong turn, didn't it? I think I'll see you guys later!" And the Romans said, "No, do not go Judas! This was the best joke we've ever heard!" And the Hebrew People said, "That was it? That was your joke? We do not buy it. I think we shall wait around for a better joke than that."

The Phantom Stranger has decided it is once again time to get back on the joke-telling horse. So he comes to Batman and says, "Stop me if you've heard this one before."

Batman has heard it before! Stop, Phantom Stranger, stop!

The Phantom Stranger does not stop! He tells the joke anyway. But he forgets the punchline and tells it incorrectly. He tells it so badly that The Batman hates this version even more than the original version! This new joke must be very bad if Batman prefers the punchline that goes, "Thomas and Martha Wayne get shot in the head and die. Ha ha!"

The Phantom Stranger has not told a joke in so long that he ruins it by explaining it at the end.

Oh Phantom Stranger! Do not spoil the joke! Do not explain why it is funny!

The next joke is called "Gothtopia" and I think this is the most important joke in the book since it is being told by the regular creative team and it is also the name of the big crossover prank that DC has come up with. In this one, Pamela Isley who is also sometimes called Poison Ivy is yelling at the citizens of Gotham to wake up. It seems she is the only one that realizes Gothtopia, America's Safest City, should not be this at all! It should be Gotham City, Stuff of Nightmares! Although even if she sees the truth, why would she want it back? Old Gotham City was horrible! In Gotham City, Batman's sidekick was a skinny little boy. But not in Gothtopia!

Now that's what I call a sidekick! Mrowwr!

Batman's new sidekick is called Catbird and it is, fairly obviously judging by the excitement in my loinal area, Selina Kyle. She and Batman have the type of relationship that Tim Drake would be super jealous about if he ever found out.

Well, maybe not exactly that type of relationship.

Batman captures Poison Ivy and sends her off to be punished by Commissioner Sionis. So I guess the Black Mask is somehow mindcontrolling every lousy citizen in Gotham except for Poison Ivy. That's a good joke both on everybody and on Poison Ivy! Ha ha! Look at how confused Poison Ivy is! She must feel so alone and afraid. That is really funny when you can point at somebody else feeling like that and say "Ha ha! I am glad that is not me!"

Batman and Catbird help keep the city safe by going from fake accident to fake accident. You can tell the accidents are fake because one of them is reported as an ice cream truck jackknifing on the interstate. That is silly! Ice cream trucks are incapable of jackknifing! Silly Batman! Silly Gothtopia! Sexy Catbird!

The current mayor is The Penguin, so he might be in on this joke as well. Barbara Gordon is Bluebelle and Kate Kane is Brightbat and Dick Grayson is The Gothamite and Luke Fox is Flying Fox and Dinah Lance and Strix and Condor are The Wings of Truth. And everyone is happy and everybody laughs and laughs all day long.

People in Gothtopia are very happy, so they are committing suicide at an alarming rate. It makes sense to Alfred and Selina but Bruce is troubled by all of the happy suicides. He decides to get himself poisoned by Poison Ivy on accident so that he can learn the truth. It is a good plan, The Batman! A very good plan! Except that it makes everybody else sad and they all stop laughing for the entire day. Now they must stop Batman from believing! They must make him believe the not-believing before he unbelieves them all and they begin to believe the beliefs that he's now believing! And that would ruin the entire joke.

Also, the Gothamite might not be Dick Grayson since he should be in Chicago. But I can't think whom it might otherwise be.

Batman allows himself to be captured because he does not want to hurt his friends. And he would hurt them because breaking jaws and bones is what he does best. So instead he is carted off to The Crane Rehabilitation Center where Killer Croc works as a security guard. It makes sense that The Scarecrow would be behind a big gigantic brainwashing joke like this. But are the other criminals in on it as well? Or are they just working with him? It is very hard to get madmen to work together but it sometimes happens.

Here is where I would scan the final two pages to show that the madmen are all in on the plan and Professor Pyg and Harley Quinn and Mr. Freeze are co-conspirators as well. But it's a double page splash and I'd probably break the binding on the book, so you'll just have to imagine it or buy your own copy or pirate it off of the internet. That last one was a joke! I do not approve of that at all! Not at all!

The final joke is called "Twenty-Seven." And I will keep it short. Batman learns how to replicate himself so that there is always a Batman! The end!

Detective Comics #27 Rating: No change. I feel like there should have been a bigger payoff at the end of this. Where was the punchline? Oh! I see it! Now that I've closed the cover! I see it! The joke was on me! There is the punchline! There it is! $7.99! That was a mean joke. Very mean.

Batwoman #21

Here we see Killer Croc making a huge mistake.

I feel like I should write some type of essay full of insight about Batwoman and lesbians and comic books and women but I don't think I have anything to say. The most important thing to me is good characters. I don't want to read about Batman who also happens to be a woman and also happens to be a lesbian. I want to read about a character where all of those things matter. I want her to be believable in her passions, whether they're her relationship with a police officer who's also a single mother or fighting injustice and stark raving madmen in her city. And since this comic book does all that, it never really occurs to me that I should talk about any of it!

I find it strange when fans call out creators for introducing "non-normative" characters into their comic books. Yes, I'm using non-normative to mean not straight white male which is also why I put the quote marks around non-normative because thinking that straight white male is a normal standard is pretty fucking ridiculous. It's just another category. When DC reported that The New 52 Alan Scott was gay, a lot of people bitched and moaned. In situations like these, I wish more people could be honest about their own feelings and the reasons they have problems with these things. But everyone hides behind arguments about tradition and gimmick and the loss of Jade and Obsidian (who happened to be Preboot gay). Of course, the fact that Alan Scott is so much younger is the only reason there's probably not a Jade or an Obsidian. He could easily have children. Perhaps on Earth 2, he felt pressure to pass and married Harlequin and had the twins anyway. That could be part of the story but before the comic book with the reveal even came out, people were arguing that they hated Alan Scott being gay because it means Obsidian and Jade don't exist.

I had a point there somewhere but, as usual, it got lost in my meandering. The bottom line about Alan Scott is that he's going to be written by writers that, hopefully, care about the characters and stories they're writing. So even if it was merely an editorial decision and they drew a name out of a hat, it still means a gay hero will be a main character of a book. For me, his sexuality doesn't matter one way or the other. I want to feel empathy for him and I want him to succeed and I want him to be interesting. By acknowledging that it doesn't matter either way to me, I mean to say that there should probably be more "non-normative" characters because they certainly DO matter to a lot of fans. Plus I guess it would certainly matter to me if every comic book character were straight white males. Boring! Although then some of them might become prison gay since there wouldn't be any women running about. Which, again, would make things interesting!

Let's take an even better example because it isn't spotlighting sexuality which wasn't the actual point of the previous few paragraphs. Let me point out Gail Simone's "The Movement". Here's a batch of diverse youngsters that are, so far, entertaining and a lot of fun. They're also very important to a lot of people who don't see heroes that look like they do very often. Or sometimes not at all! These things are just part of the character to me. They don't take away from nor add any emotional impact to me. So if Katharsis being Lao can add as much happiness as I've seen it add just from the messages Gail Simone receives on Tumblr, I think that's great. And Tremor is from India. And Vengeance Moth is in a wheelchair. And Mouse smells like urine. These things are important to the characters but even more important to fans that don't see enough characters like them.

As a straight white male (although the "white" is arguable on a genetic level, it's how society sees me. I, because of my close ties with my mother's parents and their brothers and sisters, have always thought of myself as Spanish), I've grown up in an atmosphere and a society that didn't criticize those aspects of who I was. So they're not of much concern to me. Which means characters can be of any race or gender or sexual identity and it doesn't matter to me. If they're well-written characters, I'll love them for being well-written characters. Which is, to me, one of the best arguments for more diverse characters. They matter more to more people than just another straight white guy. I've never identified with a character merely because he was male, straight, or white. My favorite characters when I was first reading comics were The Outsiders with Metamorpho and Black Lightning topping the list. So maybe I did identify more with male characters earlier in life since I also loved Halo and Katana but I instantly mentioned Metamorpho and Black Lightning. I especially loved Halo. SWOOOOON.

Anyway, I was just thinking I should discuss diversity at some point and why I never really discuss it much! I'm neutral on diversity so I'm not the target audience. But I'm also not the target audience on non-diverse comic book characters! I think that's probably a good part of the silent majority. Which means when a company thinks that diverse characters won't sell, they're absolutely wrong because they're listening to a vocal minority. I'll read ANY character if the story is well-written and/or drawn beautifully! Which probably means I shouldn't stay silent on being pro-diversity! So it's probably a good thing to be writing this. Take note, DC. White male characters don't sell because comic book fans demand white males. White males sell because that's what you're fucking selling us.

So when I say I'm neutral on it, I just mean I'm not emotionally invested one way or the other on the background of a character. I think diversity is important because it's so important to fans under-represented for years. The only time comic fans should ever be angry concerning comic book characters is when Scott Lobdell is shitting all over them.

So, on to Batwoman! Or, I guess I should say, Killer Croc!

This issue begins with Killer Croc recounting the moments during Medusa's assault on Gotham while he was The Hydra. His voice in the Narration Boxes is evocative of a Toni Morrison novel. He begins powerless against Medusa's voice as she pulls the Hydra from his guts. Later, after Medusa is destroyed, he's wounded and powerless to move from the middle of the rubble and destruction he caused. And then he's powerless to stop the Monster Squad from dragging him down into their underground lair. He's recounting all of this to Claire, a lizard woman lying in bed next to him.

Those first two Narration Boxes are magnificent.

Being that this is Interlude III, I was sure we wouldn't be getting any Batwoman and, at this point, I hope we fucking don't. Williams and Blackman are writing the fuck out of Killer Croc right now. Earlier when he was thinking about how he's never been more proud about destroying a large chunk of Gotham as Hydra except maybe how proud he was when he beat up Batman. And now, taking a look at Killer Croc in such an intimate way and perfectly within character. He's always full of bravado and machismo. And here he still is with his "About you, baby." But inside he's thinking about how he was a virgin when he met Claire and about how obvious it should be to everybody that he was. Here's this big ass brawler with the rock hard outer shell and we're getting to see his vulnerable side. Hell, his human side. DC characters need a shitload more of this kind of thing. Absolutely brilliant, sweet, and beautiful.

I can't help thinking he's going to fuck it all up with Claire!

Afterward, Waylon discusses his newly found knowledge about himself with one of the Monster Squad.

So being a werecreature is a bit like having Cerebral Palsy? Kind of an umbrella term for a whole list of differing manifestations?

I'm going to stick my tongue right up Williams and Blackman's ass now. Just get it right up in there nice and deep because this shit is so fucking smart. I love this werebeast idea and how it's a spectrum and not just a binary Werewolf kind of thing. So Waylon surmises that Cobblepot just has a little, maybe 1-2% Werebeast in him which causes him to act the way he does and, probably, identify with Penguins so much. Just a great image, that. And on the other end of the spectrum would be Waylon, Killer Croc, who can't manifest as a human at all. So it's easy to see how his Werecrocodile blood could be diagnosed as some kind of skin defect by humancentric doctors. Brilliant. Just...just...I think this comic book is giving me an erection.

Waylon denies being a shapechanger although it's pointed out to him that he's constantly changing shape which was actually a point I was going to make before I was distracted by this lump in my pants. I was really impressed earlier in this comic book series when Killer Croc was taken from simple Batman bad guy to alligators in the sewers Urban Legend working for Medusa. I believe I even commented at the time when he went from Urban Legend to full blown Hydra myth how well thought out a turn of fortune that was for him. To go from dark ally hood to urban legend to Mythological creature was quite an advancement for Killer Croc. And now Claire is claiming he's the Great Beast of Babylon. So I guess he's got some slouching to do.

The Monster Squad want Killer Croc to be their new leader but first, they declare, he must avenge Abbot and kill Batwoman. Well, that hardly seems fair. Batwoman didn't kill Abbot! Batwoman was finally working with him when Medusa turned him to stone. I hope the Monster Squad isn't merely using Killer Croc to advance their agenda. I'm going to feel really sorry for Waylon if they abandon him after he fails to kill Batwoman.

I think Maggie needs to get a stronger face wash.

Killer Croc decides to stake out Maggie and maybe come up with a plan. Or just bite her face off.

See? That's why she needs a stronger face wash. What did you think I meant, you sex maniacs?!

When Waylon attacks, he's back to his normal, DC Universe self. He just goes in all claws and teeth and "bat-bitch"es. He thinks to himself, "Sometimes I hate the crap that comes out of my mouth." He's basically a dumb-ass thug who, like most dumb-asses, doesn't think he's dumb at all. But he's self-aware enough to realize how cliche he is at being a big dumb brute. Williams and Blackman are building some really strong bully chops on this guy. His self-esteem seems to be a driving factor behind his violence. The tough skin is both literal and metaphorical.

I have no clue if Killer Croc has been written this way in the past since it seems a natural path to go down with him. I can only comment on this Waylon now since I rarely read Batman. I did read Shadow of the Bat for a few years. I wonder if there was a good Killer Croc story in that while I was reading it? No way I'd remember!

Killer Croc underestimates Maggie Sawyer, believing that she'll take cover while Batwoman battles him. Which is why he gets shot in the shoulder and punched in the face at the same time. And then his big mouth gets him in a little bit of big trouble.

The big mouth.

The big trouble.

Killer Croc begins turning back into Killer Hydra after he takes the shotgun blast to his head and he hears Maggie say his name. He keeps hearing his name repeated in his head and he's going wild. But then Hawkfire appears and Waylon begins to realize what would happen if he kills Batwoman. He thought killing Batwoman would earn him a welcome place among the Monster Squad. He'd be free and have a home and Claire and happiness. But as Hawkfire arrives and Maggie has her shotgun out and Batwoman is standing there glaring at him, he knows if he kills Batwoman, peace is the one thing he'll never have. He'll be run down until the end of time by the people that care about her. So he retreats. He flees back to find Claire and get her away from the warmonger leader of the Monster Squad, and away from Gotham altogether.

I bet Claire's baby winds up being a Werewolf.

Batwoman #21 Rating: +2 Ranking. Is it fair to give two whole rankings to a Batwoman comic book that barely had Batwoman in it? Sure, why not?! I really liked it! And I really liked how the panels were all laid out like scales. Oh, Batwoman. You just keep being one of the best, most consistent books of The New 52, girl.