Monday, February 10, 2014

Batman: The Dark Knight #27


"Shut up, lady! This story is called 'Voiceless!'"

Last issue ended with The Penguin's men capturing Batman and locking him away in a cage without killing him. What the fuck is wrong with you, The Penguin?! You should fucking know better. Maybe he's trusting that Batman doesn't know that The Penguin is behind it all and when Batman ruins his plans, The Penguin can shrug his shoulders and mime something that means "You can't touch me, Batman!"

Actually, this issue is called "Angel of Darkness" but I have a feeling everybody will continue to have nothing to say. Batman lets his Batarangs and Explosions speak for himself anyway.

Once Batman breaks free, he causes an explosion in the hangar he'd been kept in to act as a distraction as he gets away. But the explosion sends The Penguin's men flying all over the place, probably burned and covered in shrapnel if not actually dead. I wonder if Batman's policy on killing only applies if he can see the person injured. He does blow an awful lot of shit up. Maybe because he knows how to survive explosions, he expects everybody else to also know the secret. And if they don't, it's their own fault for being killed in an explosion The Batman set off and not The Batman's fault at all. AT. ALL. I don't think you heard me. NOT THE BATMAN'S FAULT. EVER.


This is what Batman does with all the thugs caught in the explosion.

Judging by that last scan, I think I have to add a few more addendums to the the Not Batman's Fault Rule. If anybody seriously injured by Batman's explosion later dies after Batman moved them and shoved them into a confined space, it is not Batman's fault. If Batman ties up a criminal and leaves him for the police but the police do not get there before some of them die from starvation or thirst or previously sustained injuries caused by The Batman, it is not The Batman's fault but the fault of the Gotham Police and their slow response time. If anybody dies at any time due to actions stemming from The Batman's involvement, the actual fault is that of the person that got the attention of Batman due to their criminal shenanigans. Therefore if any of these people die, it is The Penguin's fault. Or maybe just their own fault for participating in illegal activities.


"Why are you stabbing yourself? Stop stabbing yourself!" Obviously not Batman's fault.

Batman breaks up a bunch of The Penguin's Holiday Sweat Shops much to the consternation of Jim Gordon who is going to have tons of paperwork now. Also upset? The Penguin! Because now how is he going to make all his Holiday Sex Slave Cash?

It doesn't really matter anyway because The Batman captures The Penguin and puts him away. Now The Penguin is going to have to spend what little Holiday Cash he made on Holiday Lawyers.

But the real losers are the Mexican mother who winds up having to take a minimum wage job working as a secretary for Wayne Enterprises while Wayne Enterprises exploits her to show how caring they are and how their ability to create jobs makes good citizens of all of the refugees to America's Shores. Also, Batman decides to terrify the woman's daughter every night because he can. He's The Goddamned Batman!


He's also a creepy motherfucker.

Batman: The Dark Knight #27 Rating: No change. I like these comic books without any words because I can read them quickly!

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