Green Lantern Corps #28

No sign of 2-6-8-1-7-9-5. Lame.

Once again the Green Lantern Corps have found themselves enmeshed in an intergalactic crisis! And once again, it's their own damn fault. The Durlans want them destroyed which means if the Green Lantern Corps didn't exist, the Durlans would be putting their time to better use. But the Green Lanterns can't just sit by and wait until they're destroyed simply because the crisis is their fault. So now they're off to find a rogue Durlan Green Lantern named Von Daggle. They need his help to identify shapeshifted Durlans that might want to assassinate Green Lanterns.

Oh yeah. A bunch of out of work Green Lantern villains decided to help fight in the war because the Durlans were dicks to them. So Bolphunga, Hunger Dog, John Stewart, and Fatality have tracked down Von Daggle in Sector 3502.

For a shapeshifter with an entire universe to hide in, he doesn't do a very good job of evasion. It might be because he's got an itch that needs scratching, if you know what I mean. And I mean drugs so if you thought I meant sex with children, go get help.

While Hunger Dog makes hunting Durlans easy so that John can take all the credit for finding Von Daggle, a Green Lantern I know nothing about named Soranik is kidnapped by some mysterious figures. The silhouette of the main one looks like a Blue Beetle with hairy arms so maybe she's a Black Widow? She has help from a big muscular guy because that kind of guy is always needed on a super villain team and another guy with severely bowed legs that is never needed for a super villain team. He might be some kind of insect alien. I have no idea who they are but then I don't even know who the Green Lantern is that they've stolen! Although she's from Korugar so I bet a lot of people mistrust her!

Back on the planet Muz, Von Daggle puts up a fight because the Guardians fucked him over for years. Why would anybody want to go back to that job? I mean besides Hal Jordan. It just seems like a gigantic pain in the ass where you're manipulated and lied to by your bosses day in and day out. Everybody in the universe wants to kill you and nobody ever thanks you for saving their planets. I've left much better jobs than that when my manager just looked at me funny! Or cried in my yearly review and refused to give me the raise I deserved because I didn't become her friend. And I couldn't go to human resources because my manager's sister was the head of the department! Fuck you, Barb Zilk! I'm glad that employee that was there for one day stole your credit card during a company meeting and ran out to the mall to blow your wad on Honeybaked Hams!

There's my girl, 2-6-8-1-7-9-5!

Salaak crashes into the table and almost harms my princess! He should be more careful where he lands when he's tossed unconscious into Mogo's gravity well from outer orbit. He informs Kilowog that the Green Lanterns have yet another crisis on their hands. Kilowog allows Iolande and Hwaal to try to save Soranik. Iolande is royalty and Hwaal is a meek little skinny guy that Iolande doesn't seem to have much confidence in. I don't know if it's because she knows he's a horrible Green Lantern or if it's because she's a stuck up twat. It's hard to say because I don't know any of these Green Lanterns! We're twenty-eight issues in and only just now getting to know the Corps! It's about fucking time! Thank you, Van Jensen, for remembering that this comic book isn't simply titled "John Stewart, Green Lantern. You Know. The Architect. He Was a Marine. You Know the One. The Black One. Yeah. Him." Kilowog also allows them to take a couple of villains along with them (Loragg and Zuree) because there's no possibility that they're going to try to escape. I imagine not all of the super villains give a shit whether the Durlans destroy the Green Lanterns or not.

Back on Muz, Von Daggle has finally run out of shapeshifting juice and allows himself to be captured because his transformations are now out of control. I didn't know Durlans needed to ingest radioactivity to transform! You learn something new (and entirely fictional so it won't help me in any life situation ever except maybe a very nerdy pub quiz) every day! But before Stewart and the others can take Von Daggle into custody, they're approached by a small army of Durlans. They want Von Daggle on their side as well. Mostly so that the Green Lanterns can't have him. I mean, really, they already have plenty of their own selves.

Finally, Lantern Soranik awakens to find she's been kidnapped by Arkillo. I'm actually surprised I remembered his name! He hasn't been around in a while. I guess no Yellow Lantern has! Did Sinestro send them out to find him a mate so he can restart the Korugan race?

Green Lantern Corps #28 Rating: +2 Ranking. A greater variety of Green Lanterns were mentioned in this issue than across all the issues of Green Lantern Corps and Green Lantern so far! I think. I didn't count or anything but it seemed like a lot of members of the Corps were getting some on-panel time. I like that! Remember Green Lantern Corps Quarterly?! This comic should be more like that one! Less Earthlings and more aliens please!