Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Red Lanterns #11

Why do all of DC's women's costumes have zippers if they're never zipped up? Um, not that I'm really complaining!

Bleez and Atrocitus have both been out of control for about fourteen issues. I'm probably counting some other titles thrown in there somewhere. But what else would anybody expect? They're Red Fucking Lanterns! They aren't really meant to do anything but constantly be angry. I'm not sure why Atrocitus was also able to philosophize. Maybe it was his close relationship to the corpse of Krona. But now Bleez and Skallox and couple other Red Lanterns I forget the names of can also think about abstract issues. Most of those issues make them mad! But at least it isn't just being mad for the sake of being mad like all of the other Red Lanterns.

Oh yeah! There's also Rankorr the English Major Red Lantern whom I totally get. He's probably pissed off at everybody asking him what kind of job he's going to get with a Literature Degree. "Fuck you, you unimaginative fucks," I imagine he would say. "I didn't fucking go to college concerned about my future career prospects, you assholes! I fucking went because I wasn't ready to be a fucking adult, okay?! And I love writing and literature, so what the fuck did you expect me to do? Pick some major that will get me money later in life? That's what an adult might fucking do and I just told you I wasn't fucking ready to be a fucking adult!" (See, there is a lot of swearing because he's angry which is why he became a Red Lantern. Try to follow along!) "And I'm fucking sick to death of hearing my family and my friends say shit like, 'Geez, you went to college and now you have a job cleaning floors?' Yes, you idiots! That's what I do because cleaning floors isn't my fucking identity, mother fucker! I clean floors because I work 18 hours a week and make a shit ton of money! Which leaves me more time to fucking not be a fucking adult, okay?!" Um, I'm guessing that's what Rankorr would have said if he had eventually owned his own floor cleaning business.

Rankorr no longer has to worry about what his friends and families might say though (especially his grandfather and brother because they're dead) because he's in outer space headed toward the home-world of the Star Sapphires. Bleez has led the Red Lanterns there because she's fucking angry, mother fucker, and she just needs to punch Fatality in the tits.

But first, Guy Gardner finally arrives on Ysmault after saying he was headed there a bunch of issues ago.

No wonder it took him so long. He had to wait for Ysmault to journey from Sector 666 to his sector! This better be canon now! Ysmault traveled across space!

He intends to help Rankorr because Guy remembers what it was like to be a Red Lantern. You know, over in that Blackest or Whitest Day-Night thing that happened before the Reboot. But he doesn't find Rankorr. He doesn't find much of anything.

Probably something like this but just a smidgeon bigger.

Meanwhile on Zamaron, the Red Lanterns have all been captured by Fatality and the Star Sapphires. A lot of fights tend to begin at the end of one issue and then be half over when the next issue begins but I think this is the first time I've seen an alien invasion begin and end in the space between two issues. Those Red Lanterns must be horrible tacticians.

Red Lantern #4: "Flank them!"
Red Lantern #1: "FLANK YOU!"
All the Red Lanterns punch all the other Red Lanterns. Star Sapphires capture them.

Bleez and Fatality continue bickering. Love. Hate. LOVE. HATE. LOVE! HATE! It goes on like this for a few pages until the scene changes.

Rankorr was knocked out during the fight with the Star Sapphires and when he wakes up, he finds himself in Sector 1416 alone.

And lost. I think he needs to head toward the second star to the right.

Sector 1416 is just one sector over from Korugar. So maybe he'll find his way to Sinestro's home planet.

Atrocitus, Skallox, and Dex-Starr have continued their hunt for Abysmus across a multitude of sectors with no luck. Atrocitus finally decides to use the power of a blood prophecy to find Abysmus. Skallox thinks Atrocitus will die trying to do this because all the Red Lanterns are weak from the poisoned battery. Heck, the battery isn't even just poisoned anymore! It's pretty much melted away on a planet tearing itself apart!

Who will scratch and pet and feed Dex-Starr if Atrocitus dies?

Back on Zamaron, Bleez has infected Fatality with her blood so Fatality is beginning to feel some rage. And Bleez is encased in Fatality's love crystal (not as sexy as it sounds) so she's beginning to feel some love. And somewhere in their fighting, they meet in the middle. Ugh. I can't believe I just said that.

How has Bleez maintained such a cute hair cut?

Meanwhile in Sector 1418 (I wonder if the sectors are numbered like sides of the street?), Rankorr flies into a mass of dead Red Lanterns.

Looks like Milligan chose to thin the ranks a bit. I hope he didn't kill the female Czarnian!

And back on Akimedes, Atrocitus's blood prophecy results in finding Abysmus! Actually, it summons Abysmus! And he's a whole lot healthier than when Atrocitus last saw him. He's muscular and full of tendril things that begin choking the life out of Atrocitus. Apparently Atrocitus tried to destroy Abysmus because he created Abysmus with empathy. Now Abysmus wants to put Atrocitus and the other Red Lanterns out of their misery. I guess if someone is in misery and you're empathic to that, you probably want the misery to end so killing the person in misery that's affecting you will end your misery. Is that how empathy works?

Red Lanterns #11 Rating: +1 Ranking. A lot was going on in this issue and I think it all mostly worked. It's well paced for including three or four stories within one 20 page comic. It'll be continued next issue so they didn't rush any of the stories. Well, except for maybe finding Abysmus. That seemed a bit like a cheat just to finally get to the confrontation. But enough was told in each story that I'm curious to see how it all turns out, especially the encounter between Bleez and Fatality.

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