Batwoman #37

Clayface loves watching vampires fuck.

Now that I'm writing sonnets and being all highbrowed and shit, I'm not sure I should have begun with the vampires fucking line. That could give the tenured professors I attracted to my blog the wrong idea about how intellectual I am! I'd better write another sonnet to get them back on my good side!

Sonnet #Clayface

Does anybody know where vampires fuck?
It's something that I really need to see.
This line ends with a word that rhymes with fuck.
This line should have a word that rhymes with see.

This stanza here is all about Clayface.
Also about the general state of man.
And woman too, of course; there's just no space
To be socially just in every scan.

Now where was I? Oh yeah! Clayface had just
Begun to mope about his life's lost zest,
And the love of his life and her big brust
(I'm sure that's some archaic word for breast).

A man of many faces might I be.
The one that matters most, you'll never see.

Holy fucking shit! I am a genius the likes of which the world has never seen! Sonnet #Clayface might be my best sonnet ever!

The strangest thing you've ever said? Please. Like you've never shouted, "Ram your beautiful blooming piss factory into my gaping maw so my eager pleasure muscle can bring your throbbing love button to an intense state of indescribable quivering ecstasy!"

Earlier in the night, Batwoman threatened a reporter or an ex-girlfriend or just some Nocturna hater. She doesn't want her vendettaing Natalia Mitternicht because that's her vampire girlfriend now. Or her vampire sex mistress. Or just some person that comes by to fuck Kate when she's blackout drunk and won't remember it in the morning. Which is probably a good thing since the act involves a lot of biting and bleeding and pacts to the dark mistress Satan.

Back at Jason Blood's house, Etrigan mentions how he never wants Jason Blood inside him ever again, and Jason Blood says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know who you've been talking to but I ain't into fucking animals." Then Etrigan begins to strangle him and then Batwoman enters and says, "Step away from the naked man." Hmm, I would have ended that with an exclamation point. But then I end over 90% of all of my sentences with one! See?

Meanwhile, some thieves take off with Ragman's Celtic cookie.

Does anybody else think the magic cookie has something to do with Etrigan's sudden appearance? Is that why the burned up cult guy recognized Jason Blood? Were they summoning Etrigan with the virginal sacrifice? I like to believe that scenario since Etrigan should be sharing time with some squatter in London, as seen in Stormwatch Number I don't remember the number (what am I? An editor?).

Really? Strained? Your insult would hold more weight if that were true but this is some of Etrigan's best rhyming so far in the whole New 52! Especially that crack against women! Ha ha! Cowards!

His rhyming later in the encounter gets significantly worse. I'm going to have to admit that Batwoman has a better ear for rhyme than I do. Although she later calls Etrigan's rhymes a "haiku" so maybe she doesn't know anything at all about poetry and rhyme. Perhaps she's simply gained powers of prognostication with the vampire blood now coursing through her so she heard his future rhymes before he rhymed them.

Batwoman and Etrigan manage to say enough during the fight so that they realize the true villains in the current scenario are the robed cult that summoned Etrigan from out of the British squatter. Batwoman learns the cult are trying to resurrect Morgan le Fay which Etrigan assures her is a bad idea. He really drives home the point by rhyming "all" with "all." I guess this quest will get them in contact with Ragman and his Morgan le Fay summoning cookie. But how will Clayface join the team?! And Beth! Or Alice? Whatever.

Clayface is captured by the Cookie Thieves. Easily. Jesus, Batman goes through so much trying to catch this guy and all he needed to do was refer to him as Mr. Karlo and appeal to his acting ability?

Etrigan sniffs vampire sex juice in Kate Kane's wig and points out that she might need a little mystic hoodoo to clean out her system. For the moment, at least, Kate and Natalia's link is broken. Darn. I hope that doesn't mean their relationship is over and now Kate is going to report Natalia to Maggie for sexual molestation and near cannibalism and breaking and entering and holding her hand in public and looking like the most adorable couple ever when they really weren't although come on! They were so cute together! They shouldn't end the relationship simply because it started out on the rape foot! Um, wrong foot! I mean, at the very least, can't we consider it was an ambiguous foot and all agree that they're too cute together to make a fuss about how they first got together?!

Can't everybody just agree for my sake to say, "You know, we're all kind of weirded out by the way Nocturna broke into Kate's apartment and took advantage of her while she was pretty drunk. But for Tess's sake, let's just look at the situation with a less critical eye. I mean, Nocturna did tell Kate that she wasn't Maggie. She didn't lie to her! Sure, Kate was still drunk but it was on wine and how blotto can one really get on wine, right? She was just a bit sleepy at first and thought, 'Oh, hey, Maggie wants to fuck.' But then her vision cleared and she saw it was hot, sexy Nocturna (who, by the way, said, 'I'm not Maggie') and said to herself, 'Oh yeah! I need this random hook-up to make me feel better about the mess I made with my relationship with Maggie. If that sourpuss doesn't want any of this anymore, I'm not going to lock it away in a no-sex-allowed vault!'" See? When you say it that way, I can have my way and you can all not feel angry! We're all much happier now!

Back at the Cookie Thieves' hideout, they shove the cookie inside Clayface and they and all their friends chant the magic Rune Chant.

Ta-da!

Batwoman #37 Rating: +1 Ranking. Is this comic book going to have enough time to get all of these characters back into space before the final issue?! I hope so! Unless the time it takes to tell that story doesn't allow for more pages of Kate and Natalia fucking because then I have to hope for the pages and pages of fucking.

Batwoman #36

Is that where Jason Blood has been all this time? At an AA meeting?

That symbol has a few more additions to the Alcoholic Anonymous symbol, so maybe this is Demonology Anonymous? Do people wear chains with this symbol around their neck and sometimes run into strangers who will notice the symbol and say, "Oh, are you a friend of Merlin's?" My guess is that Merlin started Demonology Anonymous after years of out of control grafting of demons onto human hosts. He finally realized he was powerless over summoning demons and that his life had become an unmanageable mess of demon summoning. Next, he came to believe that Madame Xanadu could restore him to sanity. Next he promised to turn his life over to Dog as he understood him, be it Terrier or Labradoodle or Cocker Spaniel or, most especially, Pembroke Welsh Corgi. Then he made up a bunch of bullshit steps until he had a list that seemed like he put a lot of work into improving his life and then wrote a book bragging about it which helped a lot of lonely, powerless, incompetent people. One of those people was Jason Blood. The rest of those people were probably all of the other people that fell victim to Merlin's demon summoning shenanigans.

Like last issue, this issue ignores how last issue ended. Although this one might be starting where last issue should have started according to the way the issue before last ended. So Batwoman looks even more vampiric than usual. She's also acting way more obsessive compulsive about cleaning up street crime by threatening to kill some taggers. That's a sign of vampirism as well as the pasty skin and the sharp teeth and the swank clothes.

As Batwoman wastes her time on some teenagers, some Demonology Anonymous members get fried when the girl they're sacrificing explodes. I think sacrificing a hot, young virgin is one of the twelve steps. Female virgin. Nobody wants to see a greasy male nerd tied to a mystic standing stone.

Why is this taking place in Starling City? Have you noticed now that The Flash has aired on The CW, Infantino has become a major thoroughfare as well?

Batwoman comes to her senses just in time to follow the Gotham Police to the accident at the Demonology Anonymous meeting. The Gotham Police seem to have a different attitude to Batwoman than they have with Batman. They simply let her stride about the crime scene making gagging noises and pretending like she knows what she's looking for as she waits around for Maggie Sawyer to show up. When Maggie does, Kate runs up to her and says, "Maggie! Maggie! Pay attention to me! Maggie! Maggie! I still love you! Maggie! Maggie! I didn't mean to fuck that vampire! Maggie! Maggie! I made all of your decisions for you because I wanted you to be happy! Maggie! Maggie! I probably should have trusted you to figure out your own problems but I'm a controlling jerk-off whose life has become unmanageable so I micromanage the lives of others at the expense of my own happiness!" Actually, she doesn't say that last thing because she hasn't made enough progress with her therapist yet.

Maggie smells vampire vagina on Kate's lips and pretty much tells her to fuck off.

One of the burnt-to-hell Demonology Anonymous members survives and recognizes the doctor in the emergency room as Jason Blood! When he touches him, Jason has a flashback to the best comic so far of The New 52.

Um. What is going on in that middle area?

Later, Natalia Mitternacht, secret vampire (only because the people of Gotham are so stupid they can't see what's right in front of their eyes (the only people dumber are the citizens of Metropolis!)), comes by Kate's apartment to take her out on a date. And even though I know it's totally cliche for a heterosexual male to get all worked up over two women kissing and touching, I'm still all worked up over it. Look at them! They're adorable! And fucking sexy! Plus I might be a little bit under their vampire spell.

I suddenly wish this comic book were rated Super Mature!

On their date, they run into Kate's therapist who is a little bit therapissed. Kate hasn't been around to see him ever since she got vampirized because vampires don't need to deal with their pasts. Unless they're one of Anne Rice's vampires and then whole chapters will be devoted to their gnashing of teeth and rending of garments over the mistakes they made across the centuries. Another vampire that constantly worries about his past because he's a huge puss is Angel.

Meanwhile, Ragman buys the mystic doodad used to explode the virgin in the ceremony earlier in the night. He gets it at a steal for seven dollars and fifty cents! Unless he paid seven hundred and fifty dollars for it. Or maybe seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars for it? It's hard to tell with these Goddamned negotiators and their inability to ever actually say the exact dollar amount when making deals.

Later meanwhile elsewhere, Alice returns to Gotham. You know, Kate's sister Beth who calls herself Alice. Unless it's different.

And then we get the scene that makes Kate and Maggie's breakup well worth it! Good decision to not let her get married, Mr. Didio!

Although is it weird that Batman is standing in the room beating off? I mean, probably beating off. Why wouldn't he be? I am! Mostly because all of the blood reminds me of my old sex fantasies with Vampire Tig!

I just completely ruined that last scene, didn't I? It's like, here's a scene portraying a couple of lesbians doing what lesbians do best (other than dark poetry about swamps) and I have to rub my heterosexuality all over it! Now instead of an example of equal media representation of nonheteronormative lust mixed with gore, it's just a cum-covered example of the violent, blood-soaked male gaze of heteronormative media! Such a shame! Although I can't help it if heterosexual interests share a space on the Venn Diagram of Lust with lesbian interests! If my heterosexual cock were at a party and he struck up a conversation with a lesbian vagina, they'd find they have a lot in common! They'd probably become best friends! Platonic best friends, of course! Which would probably confuse my penis to no end.

Anyway, that sexy scene was Kate remembering the night she first fucked Nocturna. And she seems a bit freaked out by it. I don't know if the blood disturbed her more or the fact that Batman was watching.

Here's a sexy scene for the other group that shares a spot on the Venn Diagram of Lust!

Oh yeah! Work that shaft! Tease the head! Tease the head! Now smack those balls roughly on the back stroke! Grip it tight! Tighter! TIGHTE---UNH! Hunh. Hunh. Hunh. Oh yeah. Yeah. Sleepy time.

Etrigan interrupts Jason Blood while he's jerking it in the shower. Apparently they haven't seen each other in a long time although they recognize each other instantly. Will the magic that binds them spark to life now that they're in close proximity to one another and Jason's cock is throbbing wildly in the wind? I suppose they won't be able to resist merging.

Batwoman #36 Rating: Why did that comic book make me so horny?! It was terrific!

Demon Knights #23

Hey DC! Why don't you just cancel all of your comic books and just make them "Superman and X" or "Batman and Y"?

Even if DC was selling a book called "The Greatest Written and Drawn Comic Book of All Time" (and that title was true!), fans would turn their nose up at it and call it terrible and pass it up on the shelves to pick up some shitty piece of shit written by some shit writer simply because a favorite character was in it. How do I know this? Because Etrigan and Vandal Savage are two of my favorite characters! Of course I hate Madame Xanadu so that balances things out a little bit. But you know how I know this comic book has been written well? Because I like Madame Xanadu in it!

Wait a second. That actually might mean that this comic book is written poorly because they've gotten Madame Xanadu's characterization all wrong! No, no. This is the version of her that was passionate and in love with a Demon (while being in fake love with the man tied inextricably to that Demon). This version of her was before she realized she can coast on her past accomplishments and constantly tell everybody that the world was going to end if they don't immediately bring her a Caramel Cookie Frappaccino or wash her car. So that's all right then.

I believe another reason this series didn't have as many readers as it should have had is that it was basically outside of continuity. People seem to really like that continuity thing. "I want my stories to have repercussions on the greater universe!" Or some such shit. Of course that isn't true. This book tied in to Stormwatch and Swords of Sorcery and Team 7 and All Star Western. Sort of. If you were into that whole Eclipso Crossover event which, as an "event", really wasn't very good. Some of the individual stories were fine and I did like how it tied in to and wrapped up in Swords of Sorcery.

The art in this series hasn't missed a beat for 23 issues. I suppose it was time to stumble here on the 24th. It's passable comic art, mostly. I chose this panel because Ystin looks so goofy. I think Phil Winslade could have used an inker on this issue. I also have to wonder why he's doing the art on this final issue. I suppose the other artists moved on to non-temporary gigs!

Oh, while I'm mentioning the art which I rarely do and should be kicked in the balls for not doing so so often (also, I should think my sentences through better and stop making them linguistic jungle gyms), Howard Porter delivered another spectacular cover! God damn, just between the covers of Issue #22 and #23, I've become a huge fan of this man!

Meanwhile on the writing side of things, the Giants are bombing the poo-diddly out of al-Wadi. And just to show that I'm not thoroughly unhappy with Phil Winslade, I'll scan the Demon Knights reaction to the bombing.

This is a good job of what I consider standard comic book art. It doesn't jump out at me as really pumping hard any of my aesthetic orifices, but it doesn't detract at all. It does it's job and, I think, it does an above average job for an artist without an inker taking on a completely new book by himself. Now if al Jabr were recovering from a stroke, this would be fantastic!

During the chaos of me commenting on art and giants bombing al-Wadi, Brickwedge and Sarah have a nice little moment.

I hope Brickwedge and Sarah show up in another comic book at some point.

Brickwedge shares in the immortality granted by the connection between Sarah and her horse, right? RIGHT?! Oh man. I'm going to be sad of Brickwedge isn't immortal. More sad than I am knowing that I'm about to finish the last issue of this comic book! I wonder if I can make reading it last forever! Won't you join me on my forever read, Georgy? We all float down in here in the forever read! Forever and ever and ever, Danny!

Speaking of Stephen King, when The Dark Tower series ended, I left the last chapter unread for a few months. And then I couldn't take it any more because what the fuck was I doing? It's not like I was extending the pleasure of the book! I was just keeping Roland from gaining any kind of resolution! So I read it and it was what it was and now I've forgotten most of everything anyway. I remember there was a boy and a werewolf and people lit out for the territories and the boy's father's business partner was the ultimate evil and he tried to form a paradise of evil in Las Vegas when Captain Tripps killed everybody. Remember Captain Tripps? M-O-O-N! That spells Captain Tripps! Did any of y'all read Desolation? I'm pretty sure it was Stephen King's Wasteland (see the similarities in title?) where he brought together bits and pieces of all of his books and stories up until that point. Not like he fit them all into the plot or anything. But I think he mentioned them or characters had connections to characters in other books or...or...or maybe I was dreaming. It's been a long time!

Not that T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland was about bringing all of Eliot's writings together! The comparison was that The Wasteland was adrift with the flotsam and jetsam of Eliot's culture and King was kind of doing that with Desolation except the cultural cache was knowledge of Stephen King books instead of knowledge of whoever was the Beavis and Butthead of the early 1900s and other intellectually stimulating topics of the time. Perhaps I could have just said the current zeitgeist! No, that's stupid. And German!

I think I was supposed to be drinking sake while celebrating the life of this comic book as I put it in a dusty box for good! But it's five in the morning and stupid American Puritanical Liquor Laws say I can't buy alcoholic beverages until eight in the Ante Meridiem! Stupid laws. I can get drunk and crash my car just as easily at 8 AM as at 5 AM!

The city is getting pummeled and all they can talk about are Giant Bowel Movements and Xanadu's proficiency at hand jobs.

Remember that Eclipso crossover I mentioned? This issue is part of that since Exoristos seems to have left the Black Diamond which Lucifer had given her in the treasure vaults of al-Wadi!

Where has she been keeping that key? In her purse? Or purse-like orifice?

Now I have a bad feeling that Exoristos isn't going to survive this battle! Because that would just add another piece of the puzzle to the journey of Eclipso's Black Diamond. Although I don't see al Jabr getting his own New 52 title, especially at seventy years old. I'd read it, of course! But if not many people are reading this series that stars Vandal Savage and Etrigan and, I guess, Madame Xanadu, who's going to pick up al Jabr, Muslim Miracle Man? He could have lots of guest stars, I suppose. And he could be like Bill Nye or Beakman, teaching kids science and the way of Allah! Okay, so somewhat like Bill Nye and Beakman.

Jason Blood returns to Hell instead of going toe to toe with fifty thousand giants. Coward. Wait. Is Hell worse than fifty thousand giants? Maybe he's not a coward. Maybe he just hopes Etrigan gets squashed. Although if Etrigan dies while on Earth, does Jason Blood get to come back? I'm assuming Lucifer wouldn't make Blood's return easy.

How does this giant know what an ant is?! As if it has ever seen one! The giant should say, "Smash them like peasants!" Because giants probably call people "peasants" because they're the size of peas.

During the battle, Vandal Savage is blown out of his cage by one of the giant's bombs. And then al Jabr and his troops unleash their surprise science attack!

Wait, that wasn't a surprise at all! Stupid cover!

Oh Shining Knight! You're so silly! Don't thank God for science! God only created science so that people have to obey laws and limits of the universe. Meanwhile, He's off gallivanting around the universe creating miracles out of thin air and wiping his ass with the Laws of Thermodynamics! What a douchebag.

Al Jabr and his men hurl spears down on the giants from above but the giants block them with their shields while yelling, "Cowardly insects!" You know what, Mr. Giant? I'm sick of you referring to tiny people as miniscule creatures you probably never even have to deal with! How would you even notice or see a flea or a mosquito? They no doubt can't penetrate your thick hide. You should be calling them "birds" or "snakes" or some other creature that probably bothers you more than insects could. I bet birds are like insects to giants, always flying up their nose or building nests in their ears.

Oh! Except I'm forgetting this is a Fantasy Dungeons and Dragons type realm! There are probably giant ticks and giant ants and giant fleas and giant spiders and giant flies and giant everythings that have evolved simply to pester the giant humans! Giant dragons and giant orcs and giant owlbears and giant gelatinous cubes and giant giants! And then the giant giants probably have giant giant ticks and giant giant ants and giant giant fleas and giant giant spiders and giant giant enverythings! Are you still reading this paragraph? You see what I'm doing right? It's never going to end but you kept right on reading hoping for a better payoff than escalation and repetition! Good for you! Brownie points!

But then al Jabr reveals that he had a better idea than the balloon idea that was already spoiled on the cover! He has one last card up his sleeve: the Black Ace of Diamonds!

Phil Winslade's art is much better than it sounded like I was giving it credit for across this issue. He has done a tremendous job as the fill-in for this final issue. Huzzah! Or something.

So the Giants are collecting Earthly treasures for some unknown Daemons! The Demon Knight World has been built into a great place all its own. There is so much richness in 1043 CE that I think this book could have just run for hundreds of issues if it were prior to Crisis on Infinite Earths. Modern Comics have given comic books and their fans just as much as they've lost. Continuity and more mature stories, plots that make sense (for the most part), characters that evolve and change and learn and fuck up: these are great things. But I think fans aren't willing to invest as much time in comic books from a mainstream company that don't directly tie in to the world of their favorite characters. It's a shame because I'd really love to see more variety than flying people in tights. And Batman.

Al Jabr's plan works. The giants kill themselves fighting over the Black Diamond. Hopefully whichever giant is left standing takes the Black Diamond and scuttles off to whatever Daemon Realm he came from. Or else he might turn into a giant Eclipso and destroy everything! But that probably won't happen since I'm reading a bunch of other comic books that take place in this world's future. Etrigan himself heads back to his Demon Realm to leave Jason Blood marveling at the carnage.

I love al Jabr! I need more al Jabr stories! Hopefully a House of Secrets series is in the works and he'll get some story time in that!

What does that say about me that all of these fanpeople on Tumblr are into young characters with lots of relationship drama and I love the old Muslim science man?! I'm going to write some al Jabr fanfic after this!

Vandal Savage escapes during the battle. And after the battle, al Jabr takes up the Black Diamond from the battlefield. He conducts a little experiment out of emotional earshot of the others and finds that the Black Diamond and the Holy Grail cancel each other out when in close proximity. And so he has a solution to keeping both the Grail safe from those who would abuse it and everybody safe from the evils of the Black Diamond. It's also a solution that allows for more stories in the future!

This is a mark of a great comic book! It ended in "Fin" rather than "NOT THE END!" or "THE BEGINNING!"

Demon Knights #23 Rating: +1 Billion Ranks! This comic book made me happy. It was endearing and charming and beautiful and full of adventure and lesbian princesses and immortal assholes and a vampire hermaphrodite and a sarcastic horse and a talented woman with disabilities and a Muslim man of science and an epic search for a lost artifact and a trip to Hell and to Camelot and to Paradise Island and so fucking much awesome was in this book. But most of all it was fun. IT WAS A FUN COMIC BOOK! I'll miss it dearly each month.

I'd like to thank all the artists and writers and colorists and letterers and editors that worked on this book. I never felt like I was ever being let down on this title. So thank you,

The Writers
Paul Cornell who created the series and the link they had with Stormwatch.
Robert Venditti who came on board and didn't miss a beat, continuing the top notch writing and letting the characters keep their character!

The Pencillers
Diogenes Neves who made this book one of the best looking books of The New 52.
Michael Choi and
Robson Rocha for filling in the gaps when Neves couldn't be bothered. I mean, was overworked!
Bernard Chang for, like Neves, really kicking some visual ass on this thing.
Chad Hardin for his work on the late issues that didn't pop quite like Neves and Chang but had a style that I adored.
Phil Winslade for really bringing this book home even though I wasn't so sure at first. Great work after all is said and done!

The Inkers
Oclair Albert,
Julio Ferreira,
Dan Green, and
Wayne Faucher for doing what they do for the pencillers. If I went back to look at Penciller/Inker combinations, I'm sure I'd see exactly what each of these talents brought to the book. But I'm a bad fan and so I'd just like to thank them for helping make everything so pretty.

The Colorists
Marcelo Maiolo for imbuing this book with a bright, fantasy look. Marcelo nearly colored the entire run and only missed the last few issues. This book wouldn't be the same without Marcelo's outstanding palette on every page.
David Curiel for filling in the final few issues and not making a misstep. The colors popped all the way to the end.

The Letterer
Jared K. Fletcher lettered every fucking issue and kept Etrigan speaking divinely! Or, um, Unholyly!

The Cover Artists
Tony Daniel
Tomeu Morey
Norm Rapmund
Philip Tan
Jeremy Cox
Alex Garner
Howard Porter
They all did a tremendous job and I'm sure more fans would have picked this book up if only the way local stores purchased comic books were different. But with the margins they make, how can they order enough extras without risking the loss? I can't imagine how many fans never even saw how good this book looked on the shelves.

The Editors Chris Conroy,
Matt Idelson,
Joey Cavalieri, and
Kyle Andrukiewicz. Thanks for never intruding on the story. The best editors are the ones I never rant and rail against, and I believe y'all got away from my venom Scott Free!

and, of course, Jack Kirby for creating Etrigan right around the same time my parents were creating me.

I began the first commentary of Demon Knights with this: "Please let this comic be good. I have Jack Kirby’s original sixteen comic run, the initial Demon 4 part mini-series, and all of the second run by Alan Grant and Val Semeiks." And now I can happily add this Demon run to my box of Demon comics from the last forty years or so. Long live Etrigan!

Demon Knights #22

Within the look of this cover is the key to why I dislike Jim Lee's style.

I looked up Howard Porter (who did the cover!) because I wasn't familiar with his name and I simply adore this cover. Turns out he, and this probably doesn't come as news to anybody else, did pencils on Grant Morrison's JLA in the late 90s. That stuff looks pretty Jim Leeish, so I never would have guessed. But this cover? I love it. It's fairly gritty with none of that sleek shine. It's somewhat cartoony and exaggerated which I often prefer to photorealism. But then there's a demon and a half-vampire on this cover, so photorealism might be a bit absurd.

Wait, wait. Don't move on yet! Let's just drink in that sentence one more time, out of context: "Photorealism might be a bit absurd." Oh, if a truer statement exists....

I didn't know how to finish that last sentence so I just shoved a bunch of periods on the end of it.

This issue begins with Vandal Savage already beaten down by the giants of the Treasure Vault. I'm glad Venditti has decided to continue to tell Savage's story although I was prepared to have this book end with his whereabouts and condition unknown.

I also like the sketchiness of Chad Hardin's art, although it might not be very noticeable in this scan. I don't know if this sketchiness is on purpose or this is simply what happens when you don't have an inker. Either way, it's satisfying something in my liver. Or spleen. Or gizzard. Dammit! Which organ is it that processes aesthetics? Oh! The brain!

Unsurprisingly, Vandal Savage immediately turns on Jason Blood and his cohorts when the Giants threaten to cut him in half. I think Savage is more concerned about his outfit than his life. He offers to lead the giants back to The Grail and the thieves that made off with it.

By the way, do y'all know about this site: Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee? I'd watched the Ricky Gervais one previously and just watched the Chris Rock one this morning. Those are two of my favorite comedians but I really should watch more of these when I can squeeze in some extra non-comic book reading time.

The rest of the Demon Knights return to al Jabr to tell him they have The Grail. Oh, and that they also took care of Cain! It's too bad al Jabr is mortal. I'll miss him in the DC Universe once this title is cancelled and no more stories take place in 1043 CE. al Jabr wants to take a look inside the Grail Box because he's a scientist and until he sees what's in the box, it may as well contain Cracker Jacks. Oh, and one of those little fuzzy cardboard things that would change color to tell you how humid it was. Being that I grew up in California, my fuzzy little cardboard thing never turned pink. But The Shining Knight refuses to question the contents of the box! She insists that it remained closed for vague and barely intelligible reasons!

By "vague and barely intelligible reasons," I meant faith based reasons. And she should really have somebody take a look at that.

The Demon Knights have only stopped by al-Wadi to resupply before they search for Merlin to return the Grail to him. While they're in town though, they may be able to help al-Jabr stop his city from descending into chaos. Isn't that always the way? You build a city dedicated to science, logic, and reason and it's taken over by thugs and thieves. Desire for the greater good can never win out over desire for one's own best interests. This is why faith eventually wins out over rationalization and civilization crumbles. Things don't fall apart because men are having sex with other men and because people deny the existence of God; things fall apart because people want to believe that their ego, their personality, will never, ever be extinguished if only they follow a bunch of ancient laws and vague, interpreted scripture concerned with life 2000 years ago. People like to believe that religion is full of charity and helping others. Bullshit. All religion is based on a selfish desire to exist forever.

Y'all knew I was a cynical bastard, right?

The Demon Knights head to their rooms to get some rest. The Horsewoman chooses to sleep outdoors with Brickwedge, so they're the first to notice the odd trembling when Savage's giants have arrived.

Too bad nobody in the DCnU owns a shrink ray.

The Giants descend on al-Wadi and fire a warning shot which destroys the city's watchtower. But more importantly, it knocks Merlin's Box off of a table, spilling The Holy Grail to the floor. The box was designed to hide The Grail from those that would use it for their own desires. And now that it's out of the box, I imagine The Queen and many others will also be descending on al-Wadi.

But that probably won't happen until around Issue #25! For now, The Grail simply causes an explosion of uncontrolled growth in the flora. To stop the wild vines encasing the city and its people, The Horsewoman manages to place it back in Merlin's Box. In the process, her legs are healed.

And that's what happens when I have a nice hot coffee and doughnut to get to! I summarize the last ten pages in two paragraphs without even trying to be funny! Time to eat!

Demon Knights #22 Rating: No change. This is very nearly my favorite comic book, right after my other favorite comic books which I can't think of right now but they might exist so I'm hedging my bets and not saying, "This is my favorite comic book!" But since I'm not completely biased, it isn't #1 because Batman by Scott Snyder has pretty much been the stand out comic book of The New 52 from the get go. But this book is more fun!

Demon Knights #19

This comic book should have been cancelled when Adam One was killed at the beginning of time.

Not that I want this comic book to be cancelled! It's one of my favorites! It's just that time is different now thanks to the flame-headed people switching everything over to the Magenta Timeline. Although if I really dug into my DC Fanboy Logic Vaults, I can make excuses for anything. And this one is easier than most. Just make Merlin somebody else! Perhaps since there was no Adam One/Merlin, Mordred founded the Demon Knights for his own reasons and they have no connection to anything called Stormwatch at all. They're just a bunch of misfits that joined together through the machinations and manipulations of some dick wizard. Oh wait! That's exactly how it happened with Merlin anyway!

So see? Changing the timeline hardly means changing the current action in most books. But I wonder if there is now an Earth Prime and an Earth Prime Magenta? That's probably the best way to sort Stormwatch and the rest of the Earth Prime books now.

At the end of last issue, Cain was about to raid Themyscira and Savage was about to raid the Demon Knights' camp.

Vandal Savage is crying out for a hug. He's just acting out because he hasn't been included.

I really enjoy how the conversation proceeds from here. Nobody, not even Savage, is rushing to punch anybody else in the throat or simply acting snarky and disagreeable just to be contrary. Vandal points out that everyone should be slightly more than pissed at Jason Blood and Etrigan for taking them to Hell and nearly ending their immortal lives. That's a reasonable point! But then the Horsewoman lets Savage know that he may be immortal but if Etrigan dies, the world as he knows it may end. A compelling argument for someone who indulges his every desire and whim in the current world. Why would he want to see that world come to ruin? So his response to her? "I'm listening." Fucking incredible. Just...just...man. It's fucking genius how Venditti writes the characters as individual characters that act the way you'd expect the characters to act! This could have been three pages of brawling until somebody said, "What are we doing!? We must stop Cain!" And then they'd all go, "Okay! We'll band together for now!" Instead they discuss the situation and when Vandal finally decides they're all idiots anyway and he's going to kill Etrigan despite what might happen, Xanadu blasts him in the chest and that's it for the fighting. The conversation and the pacing make these a really nice three pages to get Vandal Savage back with the group. Solid and believable. And, as always, Vandal makes every line enjoyable.

Meanwhile, Paradise Island has vampires storming its shores. Can't they get the Gods to help them? Or can not even the Gods harm Cain for fear of death? But the vampires don't storm Hippolyta's stronghold because daybreak is nearly upon them. They hide out waiting for nightfall while the Demon Knights finish building their boat and try to catch up.

I wonder if the Horsewoman is still alive in The New 52 present and I wonder if she can bond with cows. You see where I'm going with this?

Back in Hell where Jason Blood dared Lucifer to torture him more than Etrigan could, Jason Blood is being horribly tortured. There are certain things you don't say to certain people. You don't begin any sentence to an elderly person with "In the long run..." and you don't tell Satan "I'm not afraid of you!" These things just don't end well. But while Lucifer is enjoying the sweet pain and suffering of the idiot Jason Blood, he has a Revelation.

Okay, maybe it's just a small "r" kind of revelation.

Speaking of Revelations, isn't it somewhere in that Biblical book where they speak about the Mark of the Beast? Oh yes, here it is. Revelations 13:16-17: "And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name." I don't know about you but it sure sounds like cell phones to me. Why would the vision confuse the mark as being on the hand or possibly the forehead? Oh, I don't know. Because you hold the stupid thing up to your head? Yeah, you all fell for it! You've all been avoiding government chips and ID cards but y'all took the stupid Mark of the Beast of your own volition because it was too tempting not to have! It's obvious that's the way the Mark would end up being distributed. Not as something forced on the populace but something the populace felt they couldn't live without. I don't think my burner phone I use exclusively for work counts since I can't buy anything with it. So I'm saving you all from the End Times by being one of the few not yet succumbing to the Mark. So don't let me die! I'm saving the world over here!

Lucifer is such a pussy. Why is he so afraid of Cain? He's just a man! Well a man blessed by God. I mean cursed by God. I never get that right on the first try!

The Demon Knights make it to land just in time to save Hippolyta and her army with the knowledge of how to kill vampires. Vampires are stupid. How did they ever let the secret way to kill them get out?! They could have been so much more if nobody knew their weakness. I guess it's not their fault. I've been reading comic books long enough to know that the enemy always knows his rival's weakness because most writers are lazy. Not that Venditti is being lazy! That was just an example! If I wasn't enjoying Venditti's writing, I'd make it blatantly apparent by disparaging his ancestors multiple times.

During the battle, Sir Ystin approaches Cain for conversion to Vampiricism because one of Merlin's prophecies said, "An evil that will own your very spirit." There might have been more to it than that but I don't remember it and I'm simply relying on the flashback given in the comic book. Also, Merlin could give that prophecy because this story isn't taking place on the sub-Earth, Earth Prime Magenta. Ystin takes it in the neck and collapses. I wonder if this will backfire on Cain for some reason? Like that time the vampire bit Apollo over in Stormwatch. Oh wait. Nevermind. That didn't happen anymore.

Back in Hell, Jason returns to Earth as a personal favor to Lucifer.

And then Etrigan does a personal favor for Lucifer. Boy, Lucifer is really racking up the debts.

Once Etrigan returns full of hellfire, he lays waste to the Vampires with his fiery breath. With the help of the Amazons, the Demon Knights dispatch the last of Cain's army. He says some typical villain words of bravado before tucking his tail and fleeing. I especially like how he transforms into a murder of crows as he flees. Unless it's a parliament of rooks. Or a writing desk of ravens.

Lastly, Exoristos looks to Sir Ystin. He's been bitten but she seems to have retained his senses, more or less. She mentions needing this curse to continue seeking the Grail and Hippolyta's ears perk up. Instead of slaughtering Sir Ystin and punishing Exoristos for returning to the island, the Queen decides to repay the Demon Knights' help with tea, sandwiches, and information.

I'm only guessing at the tea and sandwiches.

Demon Knights #19 Rating: +1 Ranking. This comic book fills out twenty pages better than most of The New 52. I rarely feel dissatisfied with the length or the action or the characterizations. What I find truly impressive is that Venditti is the second writer on this book and it doesn't feel like a writer change has occurred at all. This book has been more consistent than some books that have retained a single writer over the last year and a half.

Demon Knights #18

Why are those vampires vicious and mean? I thought they were supposed to be emo and sexy?

Last issue, Jason Blood led his group of ladies and horses and hermaphrodites to Madame Xanadu so that she could give him back his mouth. Being that he had no mouth, he couldn't tell them where they were going. Things almost erupted into a huge magic battle except Madame Xanadu recognized everybody. I wondered why Jason Blood couldn't take the time to write his companions a note to let them know where they were going. Seemed like the courteous thing to do.

Well, I guess that's a little bit better!

Xanadu informs the others that she can reverse the spell placed on Jason Blood and give him back his mouth. But she's really uppity and bitchy about it. Look, lady. I'm sure you were sitting in this dank cabin for years wondering where the fuck Jason Blood was and resenting him more and more each day. But you don't have to take out your hurt and anger on the people that brought him to you! Besides, why didn't you throw some bones and read some tea leaves or something. You could have known exactly when he'd return to this meeting place and then showed up ten minutes after that. Some seer you are!

You may have gotten the hint that I have no patience for Madame Xanadu.

Anyway, this is the first thing he does when he gets his mouth back:

Ugh. His breath must be foul.

While Jason Blood was Vandal's prisoner for several years, Vandal Savage told him all kinds of wacky stories. His favorite story to tell Jason Blood was how when Blood was in Hell and Etrigan was palling around with everyone, Madame Xanadu was constantly throwing herself at him.

Vandal: "Did I tell you the time I woke up in the middle of the night to take a piss and drunkenly wandered back into Xanadu's tent?"
Jason: "Mmmmph! Mmmph hmmmph!"
Vandal: "No? Well there she was, naked as a nymph, her knees pressed firmly to either side of Etrigan's face as his forked demon's tongue spelunked her witch's cave."
Jason: "Mmmmmmmm! Mphhphmmmph!"
Vandal: "What did I do? Well I joined in! You know what I really wanted to try though? I wanted to shove my dick right up Etrigan's ass and then make him say the chant to bring you back! Ha! I would have loved to see the look on your face! I'd have needed a mirror for that, I guess. But you know why I never tried it?"
Jason: "Mmmmm-mmmmm!"
Vandal: "Oh, I'm sure with the proper incentive, Etrigan would have been up for it. No, no. The reason I never tried it was because I was afraid my penis would go to Hell lodged in Etrigan's nether orifice. And being immortal without a penis? No, no. Not worth the risk at all."

Stories like that have made Jason a little bit cynical as to why Madame Xanadu has finally turned up with the other companions. And once they say they need Etrigan, Jason cries like a bitch. He figures it's all true! Madame Xanadu did love Etrigan more!

I hope she did!

Apparently Jason would rather spend some time in Hell than listen to more of Xanadu's protestations, so he says the chant to bring Etrigan back. Is that really wise? Etrigan's been trapped in Hell for years! He's probably not going to want to switch places with Blood any time soon.

Anyway, this is the first thing he does when he returns from Hell:

Ugh. His breath must be foul.

While Jason Blood's reaction to kissing Madame Xanadu was "You just want to fuck Etrigan!", Etrigan's reaction to kissing Madame Xanadu was "Let's fuck in front of everybody!" Gotta say. Etrigan is killing it while Jason Blood is just being a whiny bitch. I bet Glenda, Randu, and Harry all secretly liked Etrigan better as well. I mean, I bet they WILL like him better! I forgot what year it was!

Sir Ystin tells Etrigan about Cain and his cannibal army and Etrigan is actually interested. He's heard about this guy Cain that even Lucifer has no dominion over. I guess Lucifer can't recruit people east of Eden. So it looks like Proto-Stormwatch is together again!

I should take a moment to talk about the new Companion in the group: Brickwedge. Brickwedge is the Horsewoman's new horse partner. He's a stumpy little guy with a big attitude and you can't help but like him because unlike all the other horses, he thinks about more than just carrots and apples. Last issue he was annoyed with the way Exoristos was talking about him and the Horsewoman, so he slyly unbuckled her horse's saddle (with his mouth! Brickwedge doesn't have hands!) so Exoristos fell on her ass when they all took off. He's a cheeky little fella!

This is Brickwedge being disrespected by a bird.

This is Brickwedge continuously bitching about everybody else. I like this horse!

Brickwedge and his horsy companions (plus Ystin's pegasus whose name, not surprising anybody, I've completely forgotten) succeed in getting the moronic humans to the shores across from Themyscira in time to catch Cain's vampire army battling the Amazonian Coast Guard. I hope the Amazons don't suddenly attack Exoristos while ignoring Cain and his army! That would be just like a comic book!

The Amazon's first reaction. Jerks!

They're not even on Themyscira and the Amazons have to point out how Exoristos has been exiled and she's getting awfully close to breaking Amazonian Law! Instead, they should cheer and say, "Yay! Help has arrived in the form of somebody we know is a really terrific fighter because she trained among our people even though after this we probably won't be asking her to tea!" I guess that's an awfully long greeting while a dozen vampires are breathing down your neck.

The Coast Guard teach the companions how to kill vampires. I guess they weren't raised on horror movies and Stephen King and Anne Rice and Buffy and *pains me to say it* Twilight, so they're less familiar with vampires than 21st century two year olds. Plus, you know, it's years before Dracula made being a vampire sexy. Well, sexy if you let him charm you. Not so sexy when he's murdering the fuck out of you and sticking your head on a pole.

Once they learn the method of destroying vampires, the battle quickly comes to an end.

Looks like Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea just got a new Header in the queue!

After the battle is over, the Companions discover that this was simply a small band of Cain's army. The rest have already set sail for Themyscira. So it looks like they'll be traveling to Paradise Island. Without the penises and Exoristos, of course. So Etrigan and Sir Ystin will have to remain behind. Of course I'm just speculating due to Themyscira's anti-man policy!

But before they can even find out if they'll be allowed to help the Amazons fight, Etrigan needs to return to Hell to rejuvenate. But he finds Jason Blood unwilling to return.

Oh boy! Here we go! Blood is seriously daring Lucifer to be worse than Vandal Savage? Man. A broken heart can really make a guy say some stupid shit.

And speaking of Vandal!

Yay! Before I wasn't sure who I wanted to win. But now I know! Vandal!

I hope this means Vandal Savage will end up on Themyscira. I want to see him go toe to toe with Queen Hippolyta! Also, Queen Hippolyta is oooooooooolllllllldddddddd!

Demon Knights #18 Rating: +1 Ranking. If the Preboot version of Paradise Island and Queen Hippolyta are anything like the pre-Crisis era Paradise Island, then the Amazons have nothing to fear from Cain and his vampire army. That's because, according to the Who's Who, Aphrodite gave Queen Hippolyta a girdle because she looked fat. I mean, she gave it to her because it was magic and it meant that as long as Hippolyta wore it (or kept it in her footlocker. I wasn't too clear on the details), the Amazons would never be defeated in battle. Also, I guess all of the Amazons remain young and good looking as long as they remain on Paradise Island and despise men.

Demon Knights #17

I don't have anything to say this morning but I really want to read this comic book.

I've never painted in my life but I realized last night that I have a painting project in me that I really want to do. Perhaps I'll save it until my golden years though. I want to paint images and situations I experienced while on acid or mushrooms. I was thinking about one time at a flea market in San Jose tripping with my buddy Bobby. As we approached a rack of sunglasses with a small girl crouched at the base digging through a box of toys, the girl turned around and she was wearing a pair of those glasses with the eyes already on them. I was suddenly able to see the stylized painting I would do of that moment and it made me think of all the other drug-addled moments that would make lovely paintings. Lovely to me anyway. The kid offering me fizz. The brawl in the Grizzly roller coaster line between the transvestites and the asshole jocks. The kid that looked like Data as he did the "Live Long and Prosper" greeting when we asked to take his picture. Gumby in line for The Demon. Jupiter following me. The thousand years I spent in the strip joint parking lot. Sitting cross-legged on Jason Beymer's floor while his younger sister's friends drank and partied around me. Watching Jesus Christ Superstar in fast forward while listening to Rush. Rock and Roll bowling and seeing everybody staring at me constantly.

I think I should learn to paint. I could see myself really enjoying my golden years painting these moments.

Didn't I just type that I had nothing to talk about? Let's get back to that! I want to read Demon Knights already!

Since we saw Jason Blood was busy being tortured by Vandal Savage and unable to call forth the Demon since Jason had seemingly misplaced his mouth, let's check in on what Etrigan is up to!

Boredom seems fitting. He is in Hell, after all.

Lucifer stops by to taunt him a bit and then Etrigan impotently threatens Jason Blood. Meanwhile Jason Blood continues to endure torture and humiliation at the hands of Savage. In Al-Wadi, Exoristos, Sir Ystin, and the Horsewoman set off to rescue Jason Blood. Al-Jabr believes they'll need him to help stop Cain from taking Paradise Island. Well, not Jason Blood. You know who they really need.

Once they get there, Exoristos simply walks in the front gate to distract Vandal Savage while the others do whatever the others are going to do. Probably rescue Jason Blood! I hope they find his mouth while they're at it.

I'm going to miss Vandal Savage if they can't manage to finagle a way to bring him along.

Meanwhile, Sir Ystin easily frees Jason Blood. But getting in has probably alerted other guards and getting out is going to be much harder. Especially since the plan was to use Etrigan's muscle to secure their egress. Luckily Sir Ystin has a Plan B. B as in Bellerophon.

I'm surprised Savage didn't have someone paint a sad face on Jason Blood.

As they escape the castle, Horsewoman gives a thought command to Savage's men's horses to not follow. Once Vandal and his brigands mount up, the horses drop to their knees. Of course Savage knows what's up having ridden with the Horsewoman in the past. So it seems like Savage won't be along for this adventure. Unless his ire forces him to follow. But I have a feeling the others are going to need to seek out Madame Xanadu to fix Jason Blood's face.

Of course Jason didn't warn them whom they were going to see. He could have written it down!

Meanwhile on their steady march to Paradise Island (I'd rather call it that because Themyscira is too hard to spell), Cain and his Vampire Amazon cohort descend on the Bison Riders so that they can add a Vampire Cavalry to their army.

Demon Knights #17 Rating: No change. Even with the change in writers, this book is still one of the better written New 52 comics. And Bernard Chang hasn't missed a beat as the replacement for Diogenes Neves. It's simply a beautiful book to look at and a fun story to read.

Demon Knights #16

Is this Cain teaming up with one of the first recorded Talons? How fucking old is the Court of Owls? Maybe she simply works at middle ages Hooters.

I see Demon Knights has a new writer, Robert Venditti. His credits include The Surrogates which was made into a Bruce Willis film that I never saw. He has a Masters Degree in Creative Writing so I'm expecting well written crap from him. He's also going to be writer on Constantine when it launches in March. I'm really looking forward to that title so this guy had better bring the goods! Also, I hope he writes well.

This issue begins thirty years after the Battle of Avalon from last issue. And it gives a date of 1043! My only real guess as to the time that Demon Knights was taking place was that it was between 750 CE and 1066 CE.. I guessed those dates based on a single panel where a resident of Britain tells the Demon Knights his family name and some history. He mentions he had viking relatives which meant the comic had to be taking place in The Dark Ages but after the vikings had spread their seed all over the unwilling women of Britain. Also all over the crops and the walls and the livestock and the stone circles. Um, anyway, the comic book now has a date! Yay!

The scene has shifted to Saxony where a bunch of vampires are currently massacring a small village.

It's the Unknown Soldier!

I like the idea of vampirism being the mark that God put upon Cain. In an earlier panel, Cain refers to turning villagers into vampires as placing his "mark" in their blood. It makes sense because Mr. Old Testament God had a bad habit of punishing the wrong people or creating punishments that weren't really punishments at all. The Mark of Cain fulfills both of those criteria! It's not much of a punishment to give a guy immortality and mark that will keep him safe from violence. And God's punishing everybody else by creating this evil bastard that now needs to feed on human blood! That God is a fucking jerk! And I can say that without fear because he'll just punish my next door neighbor's dog when he reads what I just wrote!

Yes, God reads my commentary.

Meanwhile in Lusitania, the Horsewoman is being hunted by men on gigantic armored buffalo. For the first time in the comic book, the reader is privy to her ability to speak with horses. It's not as good as an ability to speak with fish though because fish are fascinating and know a lot of secrets. Horses are usually just, "Yo pony? You gotz carrot? How 'bout'm applez? Nah? No applez? Gorks, I love me some applez. How 'bout'm carrots? Not gots none? Hmm. Hey pony? I asked you 'bout them carrots yet? How's my mane look? Fierce?" Fish, on the other hand, are always, "Hey hey hey hey! How y'all doing? I was just swimming around my favorite sunken Spanish Galleon full of gold! It's my favorite place to poop and no humans have ever found it! Yeah, yeah! You speak good fish so I'll show you where it's at! No problem, man! It's nice to see a surface dweller that can speak fish. You learn from a Tuna? Yeah, yeah. I can hear the accent. Anyway, here's the Galleon decorated with my poop strings. Cool, right?"

Ugh. See what I mean?

The hunters manage to give Maelstrom all of their carrots at once. It's too much! Maelstrom collapses and wants to pass over the Rainbow Carrot but the Horsewoman must first set it free. Apparently the Horsewoman somehow stays young by bonding with horses. This bond keeps the horses young as well. So while I knew four of the seven Demon Knights were immortal, I didn't know about the Horsewoman. Looks like as long as she's bonded with a horse, she doesn't age. That just leaves the question of Exoristos and Al-Jabr. And since thirty years have passed, we'll see how good they look when they appear in this story.

The hunters capture the Horsewoman to take her back to the city and collect a bounty on her. As for Maelstrom, he's chopped up and kept for dinner. The Bison Riders take the Horsewoman to Al-Wadi, "a city of innovation and wonder [in] the heart of Moorish Spain." Hey! Moorish Spain! That's where my ancestors are from! It's in Al-Wadi that she's reunited with Sir Ystin of the Double Genitalia and Exoristos the Exiled Amazon.

Still looking good thirty years later. Do Amazons age slower or was immortality part of her deal with Lucifer?

Not surprisingly, Al-Jabr is the caliph of Al-Wadi. He put the bounty on the heads of his fellow Demon Knights not to punish or jail them but to gather them together once again. He probably should have made that clear to his underlings before they decided to piss off an already pissed off Amazon. It seems Al-Jabr was the only Demon Knight that was not immortal. That's what happens when you believe in the truth of the universe and rely on science and natural laws! You get old and die! Fuck you, Science! Eat shit, Truth! I guess if I want to live forever I need to get in bed with those triple whores, religion, magic, and self-delusion!

Just a few pages in and I'm really enjoying Venditti's writing. I guess a Masters in Creative Writing actually means something! Also, Bernard Chang continues to do a phenomenal job on the art.

Al-Jabr informs this half of the Demon Knights that a monster named Cain is spreading a strange disease across Europe that turns people into cannibalistic monsters. And he's traveling with an Amazon in an ancient Hooters uniform. Perhaps that's all the Court of Owls was in the past? A restaurant franchise which began on Themyscira.

Exoristos, Sir Ystin, and the Horsewoman agree to try and stop Cain before he reaches Paradise Island. But Al-Jabr believes they'll need at least one other member of the Demon Knights. You know which one. This comic book isn't called Fairie Knights or Ancient Immortal Serial Killer Knights! There's only one thing standing in their way of gathering Jason Blood and his better half.

The Cow Howler! Oh, and Vandal Savage. So make that two things standing in their way!

It looks like Vandal Savage and Jason Blood had a bit of a falling out. Madame Xanadu no doubt took part in the shenanigans as well. And since Blood is immortal while linked to Etrigan, Savage is able to torture him as much as it pleases him. And Jason Blood is helpless to fight back for some reason.

Oh. That's probably the problem.

Demon Knights #16 Rating: +1 Ranking. I'm really surprised that DC found another talented writer! The only problem is he replaced a writer that was doing really good work on this book anyway! Ignoring the actual reasons that Paul Cornell left, it would have been nice if he'd stayed on here and Venditti took a book from DeFalco, Lobdell, or Nocenti! But as it stands, I'm glad he was put on this book instead of some hack or one of DC's editors or janitors or lawyers. I'm pleasantly surprised that a transition in writers went so smoothly. Even though Venditti is given a lot of latitude to change things up with the thirty years that passed between issues, he's remained true to the characters. I'm actually really optimistic for Constantine now! And I'm cautiously optimistic that the change in writers on Ravagers will mean good things for that punctuational disaster!