Vibe #10

I can remember Vibe's brothers' names, Armando and Dante, but I can never remember Vibe's name. I think I've run out of ROM. Oh, is Rom his name?

Last issue Vibe had been turned into a bomb to blow up Mordeth's wife whose name I can also not remember. I think it was also Mordeth! Oh! But I did just remember Vibe's name because his last name Ramon popped into my head and then Cisco followed immediately after. What the fuck is wrong with you, brain? Are you outfitted with a time delay to prevent me from being robbed by Knowledge Muggers? "Quick! What's the capitol of New Hampshire?!" "I'm sorry, you're going to have to wait three minutes for that information." Here's how I watch Jeopardy: *Answer is read by the pompous bitch Alex Trebek that can't help correcting everybody's French* Me sitting on the couch in my pants (the British style), "Oh yeah. I know that." Contestant gives the answer. I say, "Yep. That was it."

Anyway, Vibe was being dropped on top of Queen Mordeth (how does somebody trust their King and Queen when their name is "More Death"? I guess in Piradellese, "Moreth" probably means "gumdrops") to stop her from invading Earth by opening up Gypsy like a portal. The Queen's husband, Breacher (or King Mordeth if you're nasty), betrayed Vibe but he did it for good reasons. I think. If somebody decided to give up my life for a goal, I would probably think all of their reasons were mostly shitty.

Back on Earth, Amanda Waller was about to recruit Dante onto her team because his nanocites inside of him were about to give him super powers. I'm sure he'll take the name Inferno instead of Purgatorio like I'm hoping. I used to be pretty sure that he'd spit Waller's offer back in her face and become ARGUS's biggest enemy, just after Omega. But I'm beginning to think all Waller would have to say is, "It pays well," and Dante will sign the contract.

This issue begins with Waller doing paperwork when Vibe appears and puts Rupture's sickle through her desk. Well then! I guess everything turned out okay on Piradell! Except maybe Rupture died. And everybody else.

Preboot Waller would never have asked nicely! Preboot Waller would have lost a boot up Vibe's colon.

Vibe begins to tell Waller his story but because he's telling the story instead of the comic book beginning with the story, it's really kind of unreliable, isn't it? Vibe could simply be telling Amanda a complete lie about how the story ended! So that adds an interesting twist to beginning the comic this way as opposed to just beginning this issue where last issue left off.

Back where last issue left off (since I was just talking about it), Vibe was about to blow up! But Rupture saves his life by ramming his sickle into his chest. It totally makes sense because weapons in comic books only do what they're supposed to do and very rarely ever pierce hearts or damage internal organs. Even Batman's weapons which cause injury every few pages never do any serious harm. And by serious, I mean nothing the criminal can't live with with just a few minor adjustments to their lifestyle, like a wheelchair or a burning hatred to get revenge.

Next, Vibe describes how he and Rupture fought and Waller acts concerned about their fight causing interdimensional rifts back on Piradell like it did on Earth. But she only acts concerned so she can point out how she already knows why Piradell wasn't ripped to shred by portals in the way The Circus was when Rupture and Vibe fought.

I guess it goes "universe," "multiverse," "omniverse." Although I think Omniverse is just a stupid way to mix them both up. "Universe" means one stanza. Multiverse means "multiple stanzas." And Omniverse means "every stanza." So Amanda Waller doesn't know as much about the workings of the DC Universe as Dr. Veritas and every single character written by Scott Lobdell.

During the battle, Vibe winds up with Rupture's sickle and destroys all of Mordeth's raptors, her army. He also knocks the righteous fury out of his brother. But that's when Emperor Palpatine begins filling Vibe full of lightning force bolts. Darth Rupture watches, climbs to his knees, and says, "No."

Oh yeah, he also killed her. Or should I say dismantled her?

And then Armando learns the price that must be paid whenever somebody strikes down someone like Emperor Mordeth.

I believe this is called a "frommage."

I'm not exactly sure if Sterling Gates is referencing the Star Wars Franchise here or if he's going all the way back to the original source material that George Lucas lifted nearly verbatim from The Book of Matthew.

Now that Armando is feeling better, he realizes he has to stay behind to try and defeat Mordeth before she completely takes over the planet. Or he really just knows he can't live with the knowledge that he killed so many Piradellians. So he shoves Vibe and Gypsy (who they rescued! Did I mention they rescued Gypsy? Oh yeah! They rescued Gypsy!) throw a portal back to Earth and remains behind to die. Or to appear again later as Rupture in the pages of Justice League of America in a few years. It'll probably some huge crossover called The Rupture!

Back in Waller's office, Gypsy appears to threaten Amanda with a knife for one second. I think it's a just a bit of the old "I could have killed you" to make Waller feel a little more human and out of control. Although I'm fairly certain Waller knew Gypsy was there all along and only acted surprised to make Vibe think he had the upper hand. Have Waller and Constantine had a real confrontation yet? I'd like to see that as they both let their lines go completely slack trying to lure the other one in. It would probably end with each of them slitting their own throats and trying to out bleed the other to get the upper hand. Somehow. I don't know how that would work!

Vibe decides to keep working for ARGUS as long as ARGUS works on a way to get back to Piradell to save Armando. But he'll only work with Agent Gunn. So that would have been a good direction for this comic book to go if more people had been buying it.

And then Amanda texts a message to her new agent whose job is to keep a close eye on Vibe 24/7:

Purgatorio! He's not the blue monster thing.

Vibe #10 Rating: +1 Ranking. Agent Gunn is now in the field with his husband as they're working with Vibe and the comic book is over? Dante has become Waller's pawn which means he's Vibe's nemesis which I pointed out from page one of issue one although Dante's super "hero" name has yet to be revealed. Although Inferno was my prediction and it was mentioned in a Next Month Blurb an issue or two ago. Although I still think Purgatorio would be fine. I bet all the agents he's supposedly killed (probably when he Super Powered Out for the first time in the hospital when Waller came to talk with him) are actually just suspended in some alternate purgatory-like dimension. Oh, I should probably level up as a comic book reader due to that! So now I'm back to the rank of Immaculate Comic Book Reader! Just one more level to go before I'm a Master again!

Overall, this series was much better than anybody wanted to think it would be since it was starring Vibe and all. This was a well portrayed version of the character. I hope he gets a mini-series sometime soon concentrating on the next chapter of his story working with Gunn and Klebba and learning about Dante.

Vibe #9

Is this akin to sitting on the washing machine?

From issue one, I believed that Vibe's brother Dante was going to be Vibe's arch-villain. But instead, his brother Armando has turned out to be his rival. How could I have been so stupid? Of course it's the guy you least suspect that becomes the guy you expected the guy you most suspected to become! It's how the biggest, lamest, most Hollywood bullshit twists happen every year! Although this twist isn't as horrible and cliche (without the accent because I'm too lazy to add one and it doesn't actually matter anyway because that's an accepted version that doesn't change the meaning of the word in the way that if you left the tilde off of año) as I've just now made it out to sound. It's just a thing that happened that surprised Vibe and worked well in the context of the story (especially with all that "Dante is obviously the bad brother" legerdemain going on) and has now given Vibe something to fight for! Besides saving the world and helping Gypsy and making a few bucks as a member of the Justice League of America, I mean.

Currently Vibe is in Piradell where Mordeth, Gypsy's father also known as Breacher, took him so that he can save everything. Or omnithing if you're a jackass Scott Lobdell character. Which Vibe isn't so I don't know why I even mentioned it. Probably because Scott Lobdell is my arch-villain! Unless I'm his? It's hard to know if you're the good guy or the bad guy in any given story because life is complicated and gray and messy. Mordeth has this problem, see? His world was once the most peaceful and cliche and happy place in all of existence! Nobody ever got hemorrhoids. Nobody ever had diarrhea. Impotence never reared its ugly head, so to speak. And the female orgasm was by no means a mystery to anybody. In short, it was paradise. But then an American (Armando!) landed on its golden shores and the party was over for everyone forever.

Vibe has now joined Mordeth's resistance force to overthrow Rupture and Mordeth's cuckolding wife and save everybody from everything forever.

I've read enough Stephen King to know that Price is from Maine.

Mordeth's resistance force (which Vibe has renamed "Justice League Sort Of" because America is awesome) saves a couple of kids named Hopper and Corr. The members of the Resistance are Vibe, Sniper Pirate, Little Dickhead, and Perfect Posture Lass. I don't know. Do you think Sniper Pirate should be Sni-pirate? I think both names have potential. Although neither of them have quite the ring that "cunt punching pumpkin fucker" has. I wish I could take credit for that curse but it's just one of many that April Winchell's fans put together for SailorTrouble. I do not offer links because fuck you, you know how to use the internets! Besides, if you're reading this little piece of shit blog, you obviously know April Winchell and Regretsy and all that shit. And you obviously know her father since he voiced the greatest cartoon villain of all time ever, Dick Dastardly.

After saving the little kids, Vibe decides to loudly and explicitly state the plans of the Resistance because the little girl and her doll couldn't be working with fucking Rupture now, could they?

Never trust anybody in comics carrying a doll. Unless that doll is named Cheeks the Toy Wonder.

Meanwhile Agent Gunn spends some quality time with Dante as he heals up in the hospital. Cisco has now been missing for two weeks and nobody knows what dimension he belly-flopped into. Hopefully Dante's nanocites are working on giving him super powers so he can be a gigantic pain in the ass to Waller's A.R.G.U.S.

And back on Piradell, Mordeth has been sucking all of the Earth juice out of Gypsy so that she can open a portal back to Earth. She wants to take over Earth because it is "the cornerstone of the multiverse." Of course it is! What place in the universe would work better? Why else do alien races and UFOs visit are planet constantly, mutilating our livestock and anally probing the mentally ill? It's because Earth is the most important place ever! And America is the most important country on the most important planet in the most important solar system in the most important galaxy in the most important universe in the most important time across all the vastness of infinite time and space. Why else would Jesus have chosen us?

Rupture tries to think about his brother but Mordeth forbids it by stuffing his head full of lightning. She knows the memory erasing, head clearing benefits of shock therapy better than most.

Breacher's resistance think they have more time but they didn't get the memo that this comic won't be making it past issue ten, so things begin going downhill really fast.

Rupture's speech bubbles aren't outlined in red! That means he has his own mind back! Right? No?

No matter how I come across in this blog, I'm actually a pretty calm, rational, sweet, likable person that doesn't have any issues with anybody. But I'm really, really, really beginning to hate Blair Herter and Tiffany Smith.

As the shit keeps picking up steam, Vibe learns that the technology Breacher implanted into Vibe's chest to keep him stable has a second use: it's a bomb! Breacher turns it on and drops Vibe onto Mordeth's palace to destroy her ability to access Earth and to save Omnithing! I mean everything! Fuck you, Scott Lobdell! I can't stop saying "omni" now!

And back on Earth, Amanda Waller visits Dante in his hospital room because she needs a new agent named Purgatorio! And he's infested with just the right nanocites to get the job done!

Justice League of America's Vibe #9 Rating: +2 Ranking. I wonder if the "Betrayed by Gypsy" cover was meant for a storyline that was interrupted by the comic book's cancellation? We've seen it time and again how the covers really begin to veer off course from the story inside as a book nears its end date (the first time I experienced this was in Blackhawks). I imagine a lot of story needs to be changed once the writer knows the comic needs to be wrapped up in a few months. But that's okay because I'm glad I don't have to see Gypsy turned into a bad guy for the sake of plot twists although, I'm sure, she would have been just as mind-controlled as Armando.

Killer Frost #1

Will we finally get the story about how she transformed way back in The Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Men #1?

I'm not even sure if the woman caught in Ronnie and Jason's initial Firestorm transformation became Killer Frost. That title was such a mess for most of its run. I think it got a little bit too ambitious. You can tell by how many words were in the title.

This issue begins with Doctor Caitlin Snow arriving in the Arctic. I weigh out all the facts: her last name is Snow; she's narrating the comic book; she finds articles on hypothermia fascinating. Yep! She's going to be Killer Frost! I'm 38% sure of it. Which means the woman in the early pages of Firestorm never did get to become Killer Frost. Oh! Unless this is her since this is three years earlier! So there's still time to join the Hyenas or Jackals or Dog Patrol or whatever the fuck American Terrorist group masquerading as a corporate entity was called.

The big twist in Killer Frost's Reboot: the professor was impressed with her hard work and intelligence.

The Doctor that Doctor Snow is replacing was a Louise Lincoln who wandered out into the Arctic cold and froze to death. Louise Lincoln was the name of the second Killer Frost in Firestorm's history but I don't think the name is anything but a callback to the Preboot era. Doctor Snow gets some weird looks from the rest of the science team as she is led off to see her lab, the self-sustaining, thermodynamic ultraconductor. It was a machine that Doctor Lincoln was working on to create perpetual motion and, thus, free energy. Doctor Lincoln's logic for designing something that would break the law of physics went thus: "Fucking Superman flies and shit, shooting lasers out of his fucking eyeballs which, like, should totally not be possible, so why can't I fucking throw away the Laws of Physics too? Who does that fucking Superman think he is?"

Doctor Lincoln died before she could get her machine to work. Or maybe she died because she got her machine to work and then it was sabotaged, seeing as that's what happens to Doctor Snow after she fixes it.

Maybe he's just coming up for a celebratory hug?

It turns out all the other assholes at the outpost work for H.I.V.E. Which probably also makes them terribly written assholes. But what it definitely makes them is uninterested in a technology that will kill the money to be made in fossil fuels and other energy industries. Although why H.I.V.E. cares, I don't know. Aren't they just planning on mind controlling everybody anyway? If they're so concerned with money, they can just force everyone to empty their wallets on H.I.V.E.'s doorstep.

They trap her inside the chamber with the Ultraconductor and turn it on. But before it warms up and melts her into a really intelligent and hard working pile of goo, she rearranges some wires and shit. It's at this point where a person becomes superhuman or a corpse. Doctor Snow manages to get lucky and become Killer Frost. Or Killer Snow. She'll probably go with that for a few seconds before she realizes how stupid it sounds.

One thing left over from the Silver Age: she still likes to steal warmth by kissing. I'm so glad. I thought they were going to modernize that as well. "Bend over, Doctor. The best way to steal a body's core warmth is through the anal sphincter."

Gail Simone mentions scenes on Twitter all the time and people draw the scenes for her. How come nobody ever draws my fantasy scenes?! Come on, people! I want to see pics of Killer Frost rim-jobbing the life force out of people! You'll get loads and loads of new Followers when I post them to my site!

Killer Frost eventually makes it back home to Pittsburgh after kissing her way through another outpost and through a small airport, along a railroad, through a couple dozen cab rides, two greyhound bus trips, and a couple dozen hitchhiked rides. She should probably have Kiss in her name since it's her main weapon. The Kiss Stealer! The Anal Sphincter Kiss Bandit. Killer Rimjob.

Back in Pittsburgh, she meets Firestorm.

And learned she could be a real girl again!

But Firestorm eluded her attempts to steal his power over and over again. And then the Crime Syndicate came and killed her one chance of returning to normal. They had killed the Justice League. No more Firestorm. No more soft, tender flesh. No more hope.

Killer Frost #1 Rating: I really liked this issue. I liked that Caitlin Snow was a normal, happy, exuberant woman that a really fucked up thing happened to. And I like that it ends with Killer Frost hopeless and not very happy with the Crime Syndicate. Does this mean she'll be joining up with Black Manta to help defeat these Earth 3 assholes? Maybe Earth 3 Lex Luthor will escape from the Crime Syndicate's clutches and create his own Legion of Doom (Doom being a good thing on Earth 3! I think) with the villains that don't see a world run by the Crime Syndicate as a nice place to be. Or, um, maybe Earth Prime's Lex Luthor will do that since he was kind of the main character in Forever Evil! Sometimes I should think shit through before I actually type it. Then y'all wouldn't have to read nearly as much.

Ventriloquist #1

Great. How many image tags am I going to screw up typing "ventriloquist"?!

I was going to do a Who's Who entry on Scarface before reading this one but then I felt that was a bit occupationist to group them together when all they have in common is making dolls talk without moving their lips. Scarface is just a gangster bullying the man with his hand up his ass. He's only creepy because he's a ventriloquist's dummy. But Ferdie's least creepy feature is that he's a ventriloquist's dummy. His most creepy feature is that he acts like one of those guys that has to turn every thing anybody says into some kind of sexual innuendo. Fuck, I hate those guys. My dad is one of those guys! You're not being witty just because you can make a woman uncomfortable by pointing out how much you'd like to bang her after every thing she says.

Female: "I love the way these pants fit but they're so difficult to get into some days."
Creepy Guy: "I bet I can get into those pants easily enough!"
Female: "Ugh. I had such a hard day at work today."
Creepy Guy: "I don't find it work to get hard for you!"
Female: "Yeah. Great. You do know I'm about to call the police?"
Creepy Guy: "Po-lice let me bang you!"

Ferdie's chat up lines all seem fake and creepy in another way as well because I'm fairly certain Ferdie is a closeted homosexual ventriloquist's dummy. He's just trying so hard to be macho in that way men don't actually act macho. Well, except for those really fucking creepy ones. Like my dad and Mickey Rourke.

The real creep factor lies with Shauna though. She's some kind of Carrie mixed with the girl in the well from Ringu and every cast member of every episode of Big Brother. That last bit is the creepiest part of her personality.

Currently everything in Gotham is truly fucked up. Batman disappears and things just fall apart. In my mind, that's no city. That's daycare. The entire city should be knocked down if they can't even keep it together when Batman goes away for a few hours. While all the chaos rages on outside, Shauna and Ferdie have set up shop in an old theater. They're giving away food, the building has heat and light, and the Ventriloquist is planning on giving a "gasser" of a show. Hey, Ferdie! Stop being ominous! But first, they have an interview to explain Shauna's origin! Other than the Byrthday Party where she was teased relentlessly which led to her poisoning all of the other children and stealing the entertainment's Ferdie puppet.

I hate to judge people on their appearances but since Ferdie is a puppet and not a people, I'll engage in some idle speculation based on that well-moussed hair and sharp suit: he's gay. Although, really, I'm also basing that on his trying too hard to show that he's sexually attracted to the woman continuously fisting him.

Shauna begins her story at the beginning. Not as "at the beginning" as Tristram Shandy begins his story. But at her birth, anyway. That's close enough to the beginning for a Teen Rated comic book. Wouldn't want those teen boys and girls learning how to make a baby! Just imagine if they knew making a baby happened when a penis released its seed into a vagina! They might actually stop doing that! Anyway, the important thing was that Shauna was not born alone; she had a twin brother!

Twin is just the technical word for two babies born at the same time because apparently these two were anything but twins.

What the hell? She looks cute! She must be suffering from some Japanese Video Virus Curse or something that doesn't affect readers. She was also adorable at the byrthday party where she found Ferdie.

While Shauna's brother received all the recognition and became an annoying child actor, she went on to become a brilliant child murderer!

I wish I had the secret power to push children in front of cars move things with my mind!

Eventually Shauna's brother dies in a tragic swing set accident that couldn't be helped by anybody. It's just one of those things! And it's why swing sets should be built on that weird green foam rubber crap that was probably carcinogenic which is why they moved to bark or sand or, mostly, just parks without swings. When was the last time a park had a see-saw? And yet whenever there is a park nearby, the street sign for playground is two kids on a see-saw! How soon before those are completely recognizable by everybody going to the park? "Why the fuck is that the sign for playground? What the fuck is it?"

Meanwhile some Gotham Street Gang called The Crime Alley Cretins (because one of them had a thesaurus when they came up with the name) have heard about Shauna's gig. Mostly they heard how it had free food. Mostly mostly they heard that women were attending. And one day without Batman in Gotham City makes it feel like the end of the world has come and you've got to always be on the look out for keeping the human race going when the apocalypse hits.

Just before the show starts, Shauna nears the end of her origin story.

Continuity error! That sign read "Byrthday Party" in Batgirl!

Gotham City has the most dangerous playgrounds in the world! Swings over concrete AND see-saws?! Death trap! Why doesn't Batman put a stop to this nonsense?

So Shauna tells the story about how Rainbow Rodney gave her his Ventriloguist dummy because he saw how it would help her through all of her future troubles. Then she named it Ferdie after her brother and it immediately began to try to fuck her.

Goddammit, Gail Simone! Did you just brainstorm "all creepy things" and instill them in this character?

Gail Simone: "What would really creep people out? Incest!"
RocketSpouse: "Penises caught in hot tubs!"
Gail Simone: "Umm, thanks honey, but maybe not that. Oh! Japanese horror movies!"
RocketSpouse: "Pistachio ice cream!"
Gail Simone: "Yeah, I'll try to work that in. How about Ventriloquist dummies?"
RocketSpouse: "Oh yeah! That's why you're the writer! I was going to say kittens!"
Gail Simone: "Women in bra-less slips!"
RocketSpouse: "Scott Lobdell's MSN Messenger messages!"
Gail Simone: "Yeah but I don't know how I can incorporate that into the script, dear."

I forgot to add her ability at telekinesis into the creepy things!

Don't Batman and Batgirl have a responsibility to brief the police on the criminals they're taking into custody before they simply disappear when everybody turns their backs? I'm kind of close to blaming these police deaths on Batgirl!

Finally Shauna and Ferdie head up on stage and begin their act filled with lots and lots of Ventriloquist Dummy fucking things innuendo. It would kill if the audience was the normal Gotham populace. But since it's only people trying to find a place to survive, the entire act is really fucking creepy.

To be fair to Shauna, this is the normal audience reaction to every ventriloquist act. Seriously. How the fuck did that Terry guy win America's Got Talent doing this shit?

You know what? The black father in the audience? Wasn't he somebody's psychiatrist somewhere? In Detective Comics or something? The Evil Dentist? He looks familiar!

Oooh! Ooooh! Where is her right hand?! I hope it's...oh. That's the one that's up his bum. Never mind. Also, I guess the "K" sound is really hard to pronounce as a Ventriloquist!

Midway through the Ventriloquist's act, The Crime Alley Cretins break into the theater and interrupt the show! Good thing Ferdie knows how to put up a fight.

I was once accused of heckling once but the guy was an idiot. Like most people who heap hate onto someone or something simply because they got the wrong vibe or message or misinterpreted something at first glance. I'm looking at you, Tumblr.

So my friend Bobby Henline was blown up in Iraq a few years ago. Since he was really upbeat and inspiring in his attitude toward losing an arm and an eylid and his hair and a bunch of tattoos and a whole lot of skin, his counselor encouraged him to try stand-up. The first time he did stand-up was at The Laugh Factory or one of those places down on Melrose or wherever in Los Angeles (what am I? Google Maps?) while he was in Southern California getting some surgery consults. I flew down to visit him at the time and went with him to his first stand-up gig at an open mic amateur stand-up thing. Being that the audience really just consisted of me and Bob's nurse and a friend of Bob's nurse (maybe less than half a dozen other patrons but we sat close to the stage), the Emcee kept asking me questions about where I lived or what I thought of a comedian and whatnot. So I wasn't yelling out my opinion of anybody! I was being asked in-between sets! But Bob went up and told his jokes and he was pretty good. Now, before we went out, we had some whisky shots and he said if he was bombing, he was going to do his rap, "The Constipated Rapper." I said to him: "No. Do not do that. Under no circumstances should you do that!" But after he was done with his fairly successful set, he did Constipated Rapper as he walked off stage. Now, I'm not going to repeat the Constipated Rapper even though I know it by heart. I don't want to steal his material, no matter how bad it is. Remember, Bob was missing an arm and his entire head was burned so that he looked somewhat like Sloth from The Goonies. So he had the audience's sympathy, if anything. As he walked off and finished his rap, the Emcee said, "Bob, they haven't rapped like that for twenty years." After which I yelled out, "That's when he wrote it!" Because it was true. Bob wrote it in high school. That was twenty years ago at the time. But the other comics that were there made this weird negative sound that, in retrospect, sounded like twenty people saying, "Can you believe that cunt?" So one of the stand-ups came up later and simply berated me for his three minutes and wishing that I would get cancer. And I just laughed and laughed and laughed because he perceived the whole experience incorrectly and then decided to steal a Howard Stern move and wish cancer on me. Fuck you, you dumb-ass son of a bitch! I have no sympathy for people who decide to treat other people like assholes after they misinterpret a situation. I'm looking at you, Tumblr.

One of my favorite posts today was Neil Gaiman posting how he didn't want to answer a Doctor Who question because of the shitty reaction he got answering the previous one about whether the 13th Doctor should have been a woman or not. A moment where I defended him because, hey Tumblr: Stop attacking your fucking allies. Even if you think you can look righteous and smart and wise in the moment. It just hurts the entire cause, dickfaces.

Holy shit. I love Ferdie almost as much as I love Alysia. Oh! Power couple!

The issue ends with Ferdie killing all the Cretins and Shauna applying Ventriloguist Dummy Make-up to all the innocent guests she poisoned so they wouldn't heckle her during her terrible act. And it is terrible. Terrible in that way that is incredibly funny. I suppose that's why people go into ventriloquism. Because they know they don't need great material. You just tell old jokes that everybody sort of know but are funny anyway. And they're especially funny when a little dumby is telling them! And funnier when a homicidal dumby is telling them!

Ventriloquist #1 Rating: Rank #10 out of 52. So far, I've enjoyed this one the most after Cyborg Superman. I think it's because Shauna is just completely sweet and adorable as a child. I might have a differing opinion on what is sweet and adorable. Anyway, she's my kind of girl. And Ferdie could be my best friend.