Can you find all the sexual imagery and innuendo on this cover?
I'm sure y'all can point out the ones I missed! Although I didn't actually miss them! I just want to give you a chance to find them and then I'll say, "Yep. Yep. I saw that one too. Good eye!"
Last issue, The Phantom Stranger and his best friends forever, The Question and Pandora, found themselves kidnapped by John Constantine and the Mini-Justice League Dark. I bet he spends most of this issue angry and whining.
Oh look! He doesn't disappoint!
So John Constantine hates to kill a few goats (which is what really makes me angry. Couldn't he have used dogs?!) but he hardly thinks twice when he has to sacrifice one of his best friends. Real winner, that chap. I hope he gets lung cancer. Again!
Apparently John didn't sacrifice enough goats because the Trinity of Sin escape from their shackles after about two minutes of captivity. I bet he would have gotten better results if he'd have used dogs.
The two groups brawl but it doesn't last long before The Phantom Stranger stops everyone so that he can suck the truth of their kidnapping out of Constantine's mind.
That's a lot of shit I don't have to summarize.
Meanwhile, Dr. Thirteen loses his sidekick, Chris Hope. Instead of hanging around with the pervert Terrence Thirteen, Chris the Babysitter had decided to go home. But first he has to take a nap and be possessed by the Blight. Well, it's a job and I don't think he's going to be getting anymore babysitting gigs after his last couple of kids were murdered and sent to Hell.
The Phantom Stranger tries to walk away from Constantine but The House of Mystery is John's buddy and it's not letting The Stranger go so easily. It sends him to the Golgotha Room where The Stranger has to face the reality of Jesus seeing Peter's house.
That's what I've been telling him for fourteen issues now, Pandora! He doesn't fucking listen.
Meanwhile in Los Angeles where we hardly ever get to see super heroes, Black Lightning watches his buddy, Blue Devil, sucked down into Hell by a gang of demons. Or a demon gang. Whatever. I'm sure it will be important later!
The House of Mystery returns The Stranger and Pandora to John's fake Rock of Eternity/Foyer so that he can agree to help them on his own terms.
The passing of the coin along to Asa is a really nice and interesting touch. And what will it portend for the future, the coin being in The Nightmare Nurse's hands?
The Phantom Stranger #14 Rating: +4 Ranking. This comic book made me feel things for Constantine and The Stranger that I haven't been feeling lately. Much the same way that Charles Soule has made me feel about the Swamp Thing. I'm beginning to care for some of DC's Rebooted characters! It's only taken about two years for me to get emotionally attached to some of them and, I admit, it's not many. There's Tig and Nightmare Nurse and Naomi and Alysia and Swamp Thing and Constantine and Wesley Willis and Damian Wayne and Socks and Mera and Aquadog and Mouse and several dozen of Mouse's rats and Jonah Hex and Amadeus Arkham and Captain Cold and The Folded Man and Abby Arcane and Power Girl and The Huntress and Kate Kane and Bette Kane and Mr. Bones and Maggie Sawyer and Agent Gunn and Agent Gunn's husband and Black Orchid and 2-6-8-1-7-9-5 and Dyrge and Supergirl and Silver Banshee and Bleez and Guy Gardner and the Anguished Fat Guy and The Mad Hatter and Dick Grayson and Deadshot and The Butcher of Gotham and Ugly Cat and Lobo and Twat Lobo and Jenny Freedom and Doctor Thirteen (the older one!) and Midnighter and Dex-Starr and I think that's all.