no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
Hmm. Not unless you have to get fancy and do some origami style folding. I wonder if my comic book store will replace my now mangled copy of Stormwatch #19? It was an honest mistake! I'm sure they'll understand if I told them I was trying to get the Fold-In picture to line up.
This issue begins with Jim Starlin having no idea how to write somebody else's characters so he has some beings with their heads on fire initiate the Magenta Timeline where they begin the universe by killing Adam One. This causes Peter Milligan's Stormwatch to stop existing. Also the Demon Knights. Except the Demon Knights were taken over by a competent writer, so they're actually doing okay.
I think the big clue is the name of the timeline: Magenta.
But how does a complete change in the timeline affect The New 52? If this is Earth Prime, then we now have a completely new Earth Prime. Adam One is dead. Therefore there was no Merlin. Therefore there is no Etrigan or Madame Xanadu or Stormwatch. Well, we know that can't be correct because Demon Knights hasn't been suddenly cancelled mysteriously. This could be Earth-50. But what it really is is a gigantic clusterfuck by DC's editors to allow this story to be told (unless it ends up being some kind of alternate reality dream or something. Or Earth-50!). How can DC have no concept of what their own 52 Earth paradigm means? 52 Universes equals 52 timelines. Now each universe could have other dimensions such as The Phantom Zone or The Fifth Dimension or all those various pocket dimensions Lobdell likes to create. But each of the 52 Universes can't have an infinite amount of timelines. Because every timeline is simply another fucking Earth which would mean the DC Universe still has infinite earths.
You know what? Maybe I should read this fucking comic book and see what Starlin does with it before I start pointing to this issue as the comic book that caused DC to fuck itself in the ass.
The Shadow Lords have not been affected by the reality change because they were in
Anyway, this Shadow Lord is the Storm King and he's just arrived from inside a Black Hole (I guess that's how you get into and out of The Bleed?) to discuss the erasure of Stormwatch with Storm Control. He calls himself or his ship or fucking who the fuck knows what "The New Skywatch" and they can't be detected because they're in STEALTH MODE!
It's too bad Peter Milligan is gone because I'm fairly certain that he was building up for the Shadow Lords to be Planetary.
A bunch of bullshit I can't be bothered to comment on.
Wait a second. You're already utilizing these guys? So this new Stormwatch already exists? Or part of it does? Or does Teeny Tiny Leader simply have a Teeny Tiny Treasure and he hired The Weird to protect it so he figured he'd just add him to the group?
Fuck you, Jim Starlin. Oh, am I repeating myself. Sorry! Wouldn't want that! I should just write a whole bunch of disparate paragraphs that don't have a single thing in common between any of them. That review would be more fitting for this reset of Stormwatch.
Skywatch is the new Stormwatch's headquarters/space ship. It's piloted by an other dimensional frog man.
Why bother with those guys? If they can rewrite reality, they're probably doing it constantly and there's nothing you can do about it or even notice. I guess if these guys can rewrite reality and fuck up The New 52, Volthoom over in Green Lantern should be able to do it as well! I think the only solution to this rampant fucking with time and space is for each of the comics in The New 52 to be its own separate Earth. I actually wouldn't mind that!
Well at least these guys can continue with their romance without interruption.
The group has a big meeting where they discover that they're going to have to combat the reality shifting flame headed aliens. Will they defeat them and put the Green Timeline back together? Or will the flame headed jerk-offs find a new champion that is no longer dead because of the timeline rewrite and also because he probably wasn't dead anyway and probably because who the fuck cares about anything any more? World building? Fuck world building! Let's just tell stories!
No, seriously. I'm all for that. But since The New 52 claims to be something more, I'd appreciate it if they stuck to that. Oh, anyway, I was discussing the Magenta Men's new champion!
You know, it's actually refreshing to see Lobo drawn well again and not that horrible mess Liefeld was trying to draw.
This whole timeline reset concept for Stormwatch is lazy bullshit that really fucks with The New 52 paradigm. But if Starlin can tell good, self-contained stories, I'm all for it. But I'll still pretend this is simply Earth-50.