Sunday, April 21, 2013

New Guardians #19

Either this is one of Volthoom's mindfucks, or Simon Baz is the greatest Lantern ever!

Last issue was all about Saint Walker, Carol Ferris, and Larfleeze. I expected this one to be about Munk and Arkillo. But it looks like it might be continuing on from Green Lantern #19 since the first page shows a bunch of exploded purple people parts floating through space. Carol has found Kyle on Earth and they decide to warn the rest of the Guardians.

Excuse me. Indigo-1 is apparently the new best Indigo Lantern. I never liked Munk anyway!

Speaking of Munk, what's going on with the Hal Jordan and the Indigo Lanterns' plan to make Repenting Indigo Rings for the Guardians of the Universe? Is that still going on? By the end of this, will the rings be completed so the Guardians can be subdued and shoved on some Asylum Planet where they can live out the rest of their immortal days without harming anybody ever again? Or is that plan just going to be conveniently forgotten until ten years from now when somebody resurrects it for a new story idea?

Now Carol and Kyle are visiting the ruins of Korugar looking for Sinestro. They don't really care so much about finding Sinestro as finding Hal Jordan who disappeared with Sinestro. I don't think Carol is going to be too happy when she finally finds him. Unless she's suddenly into necrophilia. Or always has been. I always thought Hal Jordan had the personality of a boring corpse.

Carol and Kyle manage to find Sinestro but he's acting like a raving lunatic. Apparently the destruction of his homeworld hasn't changed him at all. He believes that Kyle Rayner has joined with Volthoom because Kyle is wielding the power of the entire emotional spectrum. And cain't nobody nowhere do that nohow 'cept Sinestro and Volthoom!

Sinestro also smashes Carol in the face with a gigantic piece of Korugar, tells her Hal Jordan is good and dead, and then wraps her up in a light-construct condom and blasts her into space.

I think he plans to fire her into a black hole.

Sinestro believes that if he can take the White Ring from Kyle (do white rings need power batteries or can they just charge from any lantern?), he can turn back time and restore Korugar. But B'dg and Simon Baz show up to put a stop to the good guy infighting. After so many years, it still feels weird to think of Sinestro as a good guy. Carol and Kyle don't recognize Simon Baz so B'dg introduces him in the most heartless way possible: as the replacement of Hal Jordan. And you know the only reason a Green Lantern needs a replacement, right Carol Ferris?

Oh Carol. Don't be so small-minded. Life with a Black Lantern can be just as fulfilling.

Sinestro demands that Kyle bring back Korugar but Kyle is just as limited in his thinking as all the other lanterns before him. It takes Simon Baz to tell him it's possible! And he knows it's possible because he brought one man out of a coma! How much harder could it be to restore an entire world and resurrect all of its creatures?!

Kyle fails because he's just a lousy comic book artist. So Sinestro steals the ring from off of Kyle's finger to try himself. Kyle almost dies in deep space because these rings don't have some kind of safeguard to keep them from simply being removed by a thief? Carol wraps him in a love bubble while the ring rejects Sinestro's finger. Instead it decides to throw itself at Simon Baz, the new miracle kid on the Lantern Scene.

Except he fails too and the ring returns to Kyle. I guess that little scene, even though it didn't mean much, was shoved in to justify the surprise cover. But it does show that Simon Baz has some serious Lantern Chops. He's just too inexperienced at this point. Everyone is left pretty much where they were when this comic book began. Except Sinestro has decided to go back to his roots.

I love of it when a comic book ends on a really good joke!

New Guardians #19 Rating: No change. I can't believe Volthoom didn't make an appearance! What a slacker. Although it did make for a much better installment without him.

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