Suicide Squad #19

Why is he defeating them if he's their new leader? This story is going to be stupid, isn't it?

Last issue, Deadshot shot Yo Yo in his Neck Bomb to kill Red Orchid. It was really stupid because there were so many other options to choose from. Deadshot could have shot Red Orchid. Maybe that wouldn't have worked because it would have been like shooting a tree. Well, Yo Yo could have choked her with his elastic neck. Maybe that wouldn't have worked because it would have been like choking a tree. Hmm. Yo Yo could have bitten her head off with his elastic jaw muscles! I bet that would have worked because trees shouldn't have heads.

Shooting the bomb apparently killed Red Orchid and Yo Yo although nobody actually dies in the pages of the Suicide Squad, so Yo Yo will be okay. Besides, he spent weeks in King Shark's belly and was no worse for the digestion. But the entire penthouse came crashing down on the other Squad member's heads. But remember how nobody on the Squad ever dies? Yeah, they'll be okay.

Mere seconds ago, Waller was in Louisiana. Now she's suddenly in Gotham. I hate short cut story telling bullshit like this. Adam Glass, are you proposing I institute my Patented Drop-a-Rank Review System this issue? Because MINUS ONE RANKING!

Waller somehow arrived before the emergency response vehicles emergencily responded to the explosion and before Batman could respond to the Bat Signal. And remember, she was in Louisiana! And Gotham is in North Dakota. Or New Jersey. New York? Michigan? Anyway, it's a long way from Belle Reve! So she must have some super duper travel technology, right? Well if she does, it's one way because the only way for the Squad to escape the building without being seen is by diving into a garbage chute. Which King Shark probably shouldn't have fit into. MINUS ONE RANKING!

Deadshot gets into an argument with Waller because WHERE THE HELL DID SHE COME FROM?! And why would she bother heading into the field? That's what I said last issue! It makes no sense! I hate that Waller now has an action history with Team 7 and that she's capable of going on dangerous missions. It just fucks up the character completely. She's a female version of Deathstroke instead of a bad ass bitch that can make even Batman backdown with a raised eyebrow and a subtle threat. Well, maybe not Batman. But she should never go into the field and risk her life!

Except she's totally in love with Kurt Lance so she had to try to rescue him when the Squad failed and Regulus took him. So she shuts off everybody's nanobombs and joins the team to save Kurt.

Except is that really a good idea to shut off their neck bombs? I mean, seriously? Bite her head off, King Shark! Now's your chance! While she's melancholy and nostalgic!

Harley asks why Amanda turns off the "shock collars" (Idiot. They're nanocite bombs!) and Amanda says, "I need you. And if you come with me, I won't forget it." Then King Shark asks what will happen if they don't, Amanda says, "I will get what I came for. Then I will hunt down every one of you and kill you myself." That dialogue is worse than anything Scott Lobdell could have come up with in a majillion years. If Amanda is going to get what she wants even if they don't help her, why does she need them? If she can just force them to help her with the nanocite bomb threat (except Deadshot. He's willing to die), why turn them off and then owe them a favor? Why turn off the bomb and give them a choice when she just threatens to kill them if they don't help her now anyway? Fuck you, Adam Glass, for making Amanda Waller so fucking stupid. MINUS ONE RANKING!

Anyway, they decide to join her for stupid reasons. And even though Amanda took off from Louisiana and arrived almost immediately, just seconds after Regulus escaped with Kurt, Amanda has intel that Regulus is now in the sewers. Oh! That actually maybe makes sense because Black Spider once hunted Regulus in the sewers of Gotham, I think. So it might be old intel. But they need to get away from the Gotham Police anyway, so they might as well head into the sewers.

While trudging through the sewers, Amanda and Harley have a nice heart to heart conversation.

Of course she lost a lot of blood! She walked from Gotham City to Belle Reve! Hey wait a second! Does Adam Glass think Belle Reve is in Gotham City?!

As the group runs through the sewers to investigate gunshots, a mysterious shadow appears on the wall! I knew Yo Yo survived! I mean, I'm pretty sure Yo Yo survived and I'm pretty sure that's his shadow. It's not like Yo Yo would have died anyway. Adam Glass sucks at killing characters.

Meanwhile in New Zealand, some mysterious soldiers are digging OMAC out of the snow. Is that what happened to him after he got out of the hospital since he no longer was reactivated by The Engineer in Stormwatch since that never actually happened due to Adam One being killed immediately after being born?

Now that that nonsense interruption is out of the way, Deadshot and Harley find their teammates unconscious from the Swamp Angels. Were they a gang killed by Regulus or something? Well, now they're made of watery feces and glowing red eyes. They're led by a puddle of poo named Trench and they're probably going to help the Squad find Regulus. Except instead they kidnap Amanda Waller to take to Regulus so he'll stop treating them like shit. Hee hee! How else would he treat them?

Trench tries to drown Voltaic and discovers he can't drown a guy that doesn't need to breathe anymore because he's dead. He then gets shocked by him and dies. Maybe. Then King Shark knocks down the sewers and collapses the streets of Gotham on the Swamp People. And that's when Deadshot begins talking sense. Finally.

When did King Shark care about anything except biting people in the face? I liked him better when he barely spoke.

While they're arguing about how stupid it is to keep their word to Amanda Waller who has done nothing but use them and manipulate them and lie to them constantly, The Unknown Soldier shows up to lecture them about the importance of keeping one's word. It's absolutely like the end of a 1980s G.I. Joe Cartoon. "Now you know! And knowing is how you stop being a despicable scumbag!" The Unknown Soldier knows all about Lawton and, as was seen in that shitty piece of shit G.I. Combat, he's a super duper super soldier and the embodiment of the Biblical Cain. So when Deadshot attacks him, The Unknown Soldier has no problem committing self-defense.

Great. Since nobody actually dies in this comic, is Deadshot going to end up "dead" every few issues? MINUS ONE RANKING!

Suicide Squad #19 Rating: -4 Rankings. Usually this comic has something that I find fun or enjoyable to say about it. But last issue was pretty crappy and this was the worst issue yet. And ending on the "death of Floyd Lawton" a second time? Real powerful, that.