Saturday, April 27, 2013

Birds of Prey #19

Intact Freeze Gun. Undamaged Leg. I guess this takes place prior to Batwoman #18.

Now it makes sense that Mr. Freeze was able to leave a message for the other Birds of Prey on Starling's cell phone! How could I not have seen it before? The two are working together. That's the only explanation for Mr. Freeze having Starling's number. Well, maybe there's one other explanation that has to do with Mr. Freeze picking her up at a bar by buying her fifteen shots of whisky and laying down some really strong game. But I highly doubt there are any other explanations! Besides God. God is always an optional answer to questions that can't yet be answered by science or smart people.

I don't know how Black Canary doesn't figure it out immediately though. The first thing she should have asked was, "How the fuck did Victor Fries get Starling's number!?" Then the next question she should ask is, "Is Starling's phone number listed?" And then she should have realized all of their secret identities were at risk because she allowed a fucking drunk to hang out with them. And since I'm tired of this train of thought, let me finish with this non sequitor: I hope Condor dies.

The team stands around The Birds of Prey's soon to be flooded headquarters wondering where they're supposed to meet Mr. Freeze. He left them with a riddle even though he's not The Riddler. If he really wanted them to bring the Talon to him, why didn't he just say, "Bring her to the Starbucks on the corner of 5th and Jackson. The one on the Northwest corner, not the one on the Southeast corner." While they are discussing where to go, Batgirl uses the phrase "mad-on" and I'm suddenly sorely disappointed in Christy Marx. Fuck how I hate that saying. And Batgirl says it with her stupid chin strap face mask. I hate that chin thing on her mask as well!

At least the other thing I hate, Condor, has some important words for the group.

These cell phones are serious security risks.

Strix runs away while they're bickering which is probably for the best. Now Starling and Strix are gone! They just need to ditch Condor and they'll be rid of all the members I can't stand! Of course it'll just be Black Canary and Batgirl after that. But there are plenty of female bird heroes that can join the group! Like...well, I can't actually think of any right now. But I'm sure there are bunches!

The rest of the group all split up to track down Strix. Good thing they have their hacked cell phones so they can stay in touch.

While Black Canary gets some parkas and comforters together for their fight against Mr. Freeze, she reminisces about her first days with Team 7.

So it was just a coincidence that her sonic scream that would manifest later just happened to match up with her Team 7 codename? Not that canaries are known for blowing up people's heads with their bird songs. But you know what I mean. Right?

The team quickly tracks down Strix who just ran away like a scared kid when she heard they needed to go back to the Court of Owls' lab. But to save one of her new best friends, she's willing to be brave and lead the way. Damn. I was hoping she'd simply disappear.

I understand that "Birds of Prey" is also a pun on the slang term of "bird" meaning female which is why the team is traditionally all women. But I think it's time for Black Canary to fire everybody and have an all male Birds of Prey team! Because there aren't enough male-dominated super groups out there! Plus the women have had their chance in this Reboot and they couldn't pull it off with Duane writing their exploits. But now that a female is writing the comic book, she should fill the team with males! It all balances out perfectly. Maybe the name can be changed to Cocks of Prey! And it could become a slapstick horror thriller erotica mystery tale!

I'd fucking buy that.

Anyway, they're off to find Starling!

Fucking Bruce Wayne. Just think how many homeless people he created with this new fucking project to make money on turning another district of Gotham into a swanky, high-priced condominium hellhole.

On the way, Black Canary describes her fishnet technology to Condor. I have a feeling she's exaggerating a bit when she describes them as "kevlar-carbon-fiber-polymer mesh with self-repairing nanobots". Really, Black Canary? You have nanobots crawling about your under things? I think that's creepy. Or sexy? No, no. Definitely creepy.

When the team arrives at the Court of Owls' lab, they only find two Owl Scientists experimenting on the corpse of a young woman that had jumped into a river. No sign of Freeze or Starling which is when Batgirl realizes what just happened. Mr. Freeze was looking for information that the Talons were not giving up: the location of this lab. So he tricked the Birds and Strix into leading him to the place. Very nice, Mr. Freeze! A+ on the Super Villainry!

Hmm. Now I just wonder who Mr. Freeze was working with last issue!?

Of course this deteriorates into a brawl immediately. And even though Mr. Freeze has a gun that sprays ice all over the place in every direction and could fill the entire room in next to no time, he still begins to lose and calls out for help from his big surprise twist sidekick!

Surprise! What a twist!

Birds of Prey #19 Rating: +1 Ranking. Starling's loyalties have just been all over the place in this comic book so far. But if she is working with Waller, then maybe Waller has Mr. Freeze on a bit of a leash and the whole plan is to deal with some Court of Owls' shit. Here's hoping that this story arc kills the current roster and we get a fresh direction from this comic book soon.

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