Dial H #11

Does the Exchange only exchange super powers? Or does The Flash currently have whatever skill Nelson has? I don't think Nelson has any skills though. So The Flash is fucked over there in Flash #19 unless the only way to beat the Outlander Nation is to smoke more cigarettes than they can smoke and then have a mild cardiac infarction.

Last issue ended with Nelson and Roxie making out in their Hero and Sidekick personae. This happens not because Nelson has been romantically or sexually attracted to Roxie all this time, although the two have invariably been getting close sharing the intimate experience of the Dial changes. What really turns them on is the way they're linked when they worked together as hero and sidekick. As a Sidekick, everything just felt right when Manteau told him what to do. He looked up to her and wanted to please her. Which makes their kiss at the end of the comic book pretty disturbing and creepy. It feels like Manteau is abusing her power. It reads very much like pedophilia with the person in power overstepping the bounds of propriety and taking advantage of the sidekick's hero worship. And taking their ages into account, Roxie is pretty much robbing the cradle here.

But I suppose to those less cynical and less willing to find the most perverse pleasure in anything they read, maybe it was kind of romantic.

While Nelson and Roxie are enjoying the easy lubrication of Roxie's young and virile super hero persona, The Human Centipede is busy killing members of the Nameless Canadian Black Ops Mounties Group so that he can hook up the French Dial Religion Bishop to some huge machine which will enable him to get in contact with The Exchange. I think. Something like that.

Oh man! I just remembered Nelson turns into The Flash on the cover! Roxie had better get ready for a pounding!

I think she's up for it!

But things are weird as well they should be! Apparently Nelson feels the same way I do about the boundaries crossed in this situation.

I think Roxie is suggesting they fuck after every Dial to ameliorate the side effects of Dialing! That strumpet!

To avoid having a discussion with the older woman that seduced him while he was vulnerable and under her tutelage, Nelson uses the Hero Dial and turns into The Flash. He needed to escape and he got super speed powers. Does that mean he's getting more control over the Dial?

The best part about this, of course, is that The Flash just got screwed over in his own comic because Nelson didn't want to talk about getting screwed. What an abuse of the Dial and it could cost Barry Allen his life (it won't)! Nelson writes Roxie a note at super speed and gets the fuck out of the hotel room.

Oh wait! My mistake! I jumped to conclusions before turning the page to find out what was really going on.

You know what would get him to stop? Speaking! The Flash always slows down when he speaks so that other people can hear his hilarious puns!

I wonder if Nelson will make some stupid running puns!

Back in Canada, The Human Centipede is trying to open a door to the Exchange so that The Fixer (the guy that can hunts Dials and shuts them off) will thankfully visit them and use the door since The Fixer's Dial's traveling ability seems to be broken. That's why he hitched a ride through The Abyss in the first Dial H story arc. And eventually it works and The Fixer appears. And The Human Centipede offers him a deal. He'll let him through the door so he can shut off the Dials he missed but he has to give The Human Centipede something in return.

Roxie and Nelson begin following a trail that won't lead anywhere pleasant when they begin to ask what happened to the real Flash now that Nelson has his identity. Nelson quickly searches for the real Flash using the speed powers but can't find him. And luckily Nelson is confused and distracted or else he might realize The Flash is Barry Allen. But then Roxie reminds The Flash of the Zero Issue story and they both suddenly realize where they get the super powers.

Well fuck. Why is it that whenever something is a lot of fun, things always wind up being more complicated than originally believed? No more good time Dialing! Now it's a serious responsibility with serious consequences.

While they're busy trying to figure out if they should even use the Dial anymore, The Human Centipede has joined forces with The Fixer and let him through the door. I still don't know what their deal was but it seemed to be good enough for both of them. With The Fixer's ability to turn into any hero it wants at any time, it easily chases down Nelson Flash and Roxie in Australia where Nelson's power finally gives out.

Whoops.

Dial H #11 Rating: +1 Ranking. One of the things Nelson and Roxie realized is that the Dial only works for people with heroic intentions. Ex Nihilo was able to use it for mysterious reasons but The Human Centipede could not get it to activate because he is a murdering bastard. They still don't know how it chooses powers or what the consequences of taking another person's powers are, but none of that will probably matter now that The Fixer is about to shut down their Dial fun next issue.