"The Hipsters don’t know what to do when I draw feet. It confuses them." -- Rob Liefeld
1. Pouches. Lots and lots of pouches. Oh, but look here! You've toned down the amount and made them smaller! I'm not sure what to do?!
2. Wrist guards. Everybody owns a pair. Even characters that never wore them before in their lives like Lobo. Although if you had the ability to draw a chain and a hook, you could have hidden one of Lobo's wrists in a canonical way! Oh, and if you point out you drew a wrist, I'll point out that the hand on the end of any wrist you draw will have pointy fingers and a misshapen hand.
3. The potatoes skewered on Niko's swords. Was she in the kitchen preparing a meal when Synge attacked? And look at the way the blade in her left hand is off-center.
4. Faces that rarely have two eyes. Liefeld creates a character? You can bet he'll have a mask or an eyepatch or one laser eye or one smoking eye or one cyborg eye. And when you do draw two eyes like on Niko here, one always kind of wanders away from symmetry.
5. Guns. Your guns are always squared off and rectangular. Oh! Except here you've made one somewhat round! Good for you!
6. The awkward way everybody holds their weapons. There's always something so unnatural about your angles and handholds. I'm never surprised when you add a guard to the hilt of a blade to hide the way the hand holds the weapon. Look at Grifter's sword hand. It's as if you drew a template to guide you on perspective but then just used that perspective for the hand and dagger and said "Fuck all" to how it relates to the arm and the rest of the cover.
Some of these things I normally wouldn't complain about. You've actually done a far better job on the things I complain about here on this cover than other recent work you've done (interior of Deathstroke #11!). Also, I really don't mind your feet. They're the least of your worries, buddy.
On with the comic!
So, remember how at the end of the last issue, Synge broke through the wall and exploded the room and knocked out everyone?
Okay, maybe Grifter is a little bit conscious!
You realize, Liefeld and company, if these issues are collected in a trade, that transition is going to be glaringly awful.
"Hey, guyph! I'm Phynge! You phuckerph are fucked! And by phuckerph I mean phuckerphs. As in phomeone who phuckphs phomophing. Like a lollipop!"
By the way, the name of this issue is, "Forgive us our Synge." No, no, don't groan. It's not even worth that.
I just looked at Liefeld's Twitter feed because I was considering following him. And I did for a few seconds before I realized he's just going to spoil any comic he's writing by posting pictures featuring teaser art from upcoming story lines. In one of his more current Tweets he says, "I consume mature entertainment...HBO, Starz, Showtime, basically indie tv. Need to pour that into mature comics". I think by pour he means plagiarize but Twitter has that pesky character limit so he had to find a short synonym.
Grifter is a pretty awful comic (and I say pretty too often!) and it was before Liefeld ever put his golden touch on it. It really makes me want to talk about so many other things besides the story within its pages. It definitely makes me think about the way artists and writers put a comic book together. Take Page Four of Grifter #11 here:
I'm going to ignore the amazing dialogue for now.
The second panel shows Deathblow knocked to the ground while firing on Synge at point blank range. Which leads directly to the third panel where everything is completely different! Now Deathblow is standing behind Grifter and luckily not blowing Grifter's brains out.
Then the third and fourth panels which are the worst offenders. Grifter and Deathblow are knocked about the room in panel three. Deathblow has lost is footing and I submit there is not way to not end up on his ass from that position in panel three. And Grifter is obviously not flying in an arc that would lead to panel four. I get it, Marat Mychaels. Who wants to be bogged down by realistic physics and motion in a comic book fight? Fuck good storyboarding. That shit is bananas.
On second thought, I'm not going to bother talking about the dialogue. You can read. I think.
At some point during the battle, they end up outside of the cabin. It's hard to pinpoint exactly when this happens since Marat Mychaels avoids drawing backgrounds whenever he can. Instead he just likes to smear color around to imply nothing. I think they end up outside in panel four of that last page I scanned. See how the background becomes bluish? Although if they're outside there, then they're outside here in this panel as well:
Maybe the brown background represents the broken cabin.
As you can see, part of Liefeld's mature and indie tv watching experience involves lots and lots of Return of the Jedi.
Perhaps if the dialogue were blowing me away, I wouldn't notice the apathy which fills Marat's artwork.
And I don't mean to get too picky, but what the fuck happeend to Buck, the black guy? Did they go through all the trouble of rescuing from the burning wreck last issue to forget about him this issue? Did he run off with the mysteriously missing Batman of Justice League International #11? Is this a new trend in creator apathy? "Which characters were in last issue?" "How the fuck should I know? You actually want me to peel the tape off the baggie and remove the comic from its protective sleeve to check? Fuck that. I'm pretty sure it was just Grifter, Deathblow, and Niko."
A hell of a lot sooner! A couple thousand years trying to conquer Earth isn't so bad, right?
Grifter ends up burying Synge beneath a pile of mountains and forests to put an end to the battle. But even that doesn't end up working because Synge has that energy field that protected him from being touched by anything. So he ends up coming back after the big super surprise reveal that their is a mole in their ranks!
Cunt? Bitch? Skeez? Skoont? Dumpleshiv? Pringlestork? Belly Tambourine?
"Oooh. Getting shot in the chest sure gives me a pounding headache."
Grifter #11 Rating: -1 Ranking. The dialogue was cheesy. The story boarding incomprehensible. The art was bad and, at times, awful. And the story was anything but "mature." I feel bad for any Grifter fans who have to be put through this bullshit. I feel even worse for the fans who defend this tripe because they just can't let accept Grifter in a shitty comic.
P.S. I'm giving Grifter another -1 to the rankings for discarding the character Buck without mention. How many more disappearing characters are you going to give us, DC?