Action Comics #2

Last issue, Superman was captured by the city of Metropolis, mostly due to the plans of some guy named Lex Luthor. I hope we learn more about him as this comic goes along!

During the downtime between the first and second issue, Lex Luthor has been torturing Superman to see how much he can take.



Oh, don't worry, Anguished Fat Man, Lex Luthor says it isn't torture!


Does Superman chew his own hair and nails off to stay well-groomed? Or did his parents have enough foresight to pack away some Kryptonian Grooming supplies for their baby?

So just because a guy is invulnerable, it isn't torture when he's obviously in pain from the electricity channeled through the electric chair he's sitting in. It's cool! He's still alive!

I think Lex Luthor might be a bit of a narcissist and possibly a little megalomaniacal as well.

They also seem to be having a good time torturing his cape as well although nobody seems to be too upset by that.



How come everything from Krypton is indestructible? I'm guessing Krypton is in another dimension with different physical laws than our dimension. And everything that crosses over retains its properties from the different set of physics with which it was created.

I don't know the answers to these things and neither does Lex Luthor! Which means I'm as smart as Lex Luthor! But Lex Luthor wants to know the answers as well, so he interviews Superman. I don't have that advantage because I'm not in Metropolis at the moment. Wherever Metropolis is. I think if you leave Gotham and go as the crow flies over Detroit, you'll get there (according to Green Lantern's GPS in Justice League #1) except that that makes no sense at all. Even in comic book logic.

So Luthor (can I just call you Luthor? Thanks!) begins his interview with Supes (can I just call you Supes? Cool!) and it looks like Luthor already knows more about Superman than Clark Kent does!


It looks like Ma and Pa Kent may not have told little Clarkie everything.

Ma and Pa Kent must have just left the rocket when they found little Kal-El and just took his blanket and grooming kit. They also must have left the goat dressed up like a unicorn that Kal-El's parents Pa-El and Ma-El put in the rocket with him.


This is a Kryptonian Teddy Bear. It must be indestructible as well and made from real animal fur since Luthor and the other scientists think it is real. Unless it is real!

Here is Superman's reaction to Lex Luthor's premise that this is what a Kryptonian really looks like:


No, no. That's Anguished Fat Man's reaction to everything.


There it is. I reacted the same way!

And that is Luthor's one weakness: being laughed at! Luthor loses his cool and Superman gets the upper-hand by frying all of the military equipment with his microwave eyeballs! I think Supes might be on the verge of escaping!



See?! Maybe I should replace Anguished Fat Man with Pussified Luthor?



No, no! I wouldn't do that to you, Anguished Fat Man. You're here to stay! How can I incorporate you into the overall look of the blog? I'll think of something. Maybe I can start a new blog called AnguishedFatMan! Or maybe one already exists?

This is the only hit from Google for "anguished fat man". I mean, it's not the only hit. But the only one that has anything to do with what I was searching for! Too bad the sign joke isn't better. I liked the Fat Guy Theme Musick!

Back to the comic: As Supes is escaping, he hangs out to find his cape. While doing this, he also stumbles upon the rocket that brought him to Earth. He tells it to keep itself safe as it covers itself in crystals and spouts a bunch of Kryptonian el-jibber-jabber!

Superman does indeed escape. Big surprise! But he does it without flying. Climbing the elevator shaft. Leaping from building to blimp to flying something. So he definitely doesn't fly. At least not yet. Perhaps never!

I wonder if DC has made a conscious decision to limit the amount of heroes who have the capability to fly? Justice League International seemed kind of light on the flyers as well.

The last two pages of story set up a couple of storylines. One is the Steel project. One of the military guys (Corben? or something) seems to have a past with Lois Lane and he's about to test out the Steel suit so he can bring down Supes and win Lois's heart. The other one has Luthor speaking on the phone with the something that gave him the word 'Krypton' to say to Superman. This is what Luthor is speaking with:


Looks like a Braniac to me!

Action Comics is one of the few $3.99 comics of the New 52. That means it's supposed to have more pages. And it does. Technically. This story has 20 pages. Just like all the $2.99 comics. But then it has 8 pages of Behind the Scenes of the Creation of Issues #1 and #2. Pretty lame for the extra dollar. A Jimmy Olsen back-up story would have been better!

But there was this bit about the assistant to the corrupt guy in Issue #1 that I don't think I mentioned (which proves I'm not a cliché jerk who feels like I have to make a dwarf joke every chance I get! So there!):



Um, I take back the Jimmy Olsen story thing as I read these 8 pages. This is actually interesting stuff.