Action Comics #1

Superteen on a beer run.

Oh my gracious! Why is Super"man" being shot by all the policemens!? What is Grant Morrison going to do to Superman?!

When I think of Grant Morrison's comic runs, I think of two in particular: Doom Patrol and The X-men. I'm not sure which X-men title it was but it was the one where Magneto in his Xorn disguise taught the Special Ed X-men class. Yes, even some X-men have to ride the short bus. It was just plain delightful.

And Doom Patrol just had some of the best and craziest enemies. Probably because the Doom Patrol was pretty fucked up at the time as well. Crazy Jane with multiple personalities, each one with a different super power but no way to know which would be available at any time. Dorothy Spinner, a deformed teen girl whose fantasies could become reality. And not just her happy fantasies, of course. Pretty much anything that happened to pop into her mind. Danny the Street, a sentient street that helped the Doom Patrol get from place to place. I think. The Negative Hermaphrodite, Rebis. Their psychotic chief, Chief. Man. Good times!

So it just seems Grant Morrison is going to give Superman a little bit of a tweak. Let's watch the action!



And there it is! Action Comics starts off not in a big battle with a super villain or preventing some natural disaster or something similarly heroic. No. Action Comics starts out with Superman landing amongst a bunch of elite 'rats with money' and 'rats with guns' (Superteen's terminology!) to lay the super smackdown on some good old fashioned White Collar crime.

Metropolis, meet Smallville. I think he sees some injustice here!

This issue happens to be called 'Superman versus the City of Tomorrow'.

Superman seems to have been in Metropolis for about six months. The authorities don't like him, just like all that stuff going on in Justice League. But here in Metropolis, it looks like the authorities don't like him because he's rocking the graft-filled boat. And guess who the city has hired to stop Mr. Superman: Lex Luthor!


No, that's not Lex.

Clark Kent has a job as a reporter although I'm not sure where. He seems to have become instant buddies with Jimmy Olsen. Jimmy and Lois work for a rival newspaper and they're on the trail of some thug who works for that guy Superman was bullying into confessing earlier. And they're on a train headed for disaster!


What will happen?!

As Clark Kent the Reporter, Superman seems to be working on stories that point out corruption in the city and trying to help out the common man. Superman is bringing his Ma and Pa Kent upbringing to his work and his super-heroics.

From what I've seen in this comic, it looks like Superman's powers either have been diminished somewhat from the Superman we've come to know or he's still young and not at full strength. I keep thinking of him as Superteen even though it says Superman right on the cover since he's wearing jeans and a Superman t-shirt. Plus he's best friends with Jimmy Olsen. And I think he's a virgin.

Wouldn't Supergirl be the only girl he can actually fuck? I don't think incest is that big of a deal on Krypton.

Oh yeah, about his powers. I'm not sure if he can fly! He's doing the whole leaping over tall buildings thing and hitching a ride on a blimp at one point. Perhaps he's just laying low since everyone and Luthor's penis is looking for him.

Also, a tank shoots him (sure, it's a Luthor tank so it might have some special smart guy upgrades) and he gets dazed. The common people have to come in and make a shield so he can get it together and get away.



No, he's okay, fat guy! Don't worry! But when he stops the train going 200 miles per hour, he starts bleeding out of his ears and he even says ow. So he's got some problems with his invulnerability. Plus, when he finally does stop the train that Luthor set in motion (yes, this was all part of Luthor's plan. Wow. He's like 30 steps ahead of everyone! Even Mister Terrific!), this happens:



Okay, fat man. Now you can panic!