Green Arrow #1

The first thing about Green Arrow that worries me is that it was written by J.T. Krul. You might remember him as the writer who wasted two issues worth of Captain Atom before getting to the beginning of the story! Should I just skip to issue three right now?! No, no. Give it a chance, me. Okay, you, I will.

Hmm. Can I be worried when on the third page J.T. Krul writes this:




I don't ostracize vermin.

Oliver Queen. Green Arrow. He's always been DC's Robin Hood. Help out the poor and unwashed masses kind of guy. The liberal to Hawkman's conservative.

I'm not sure they're taking him this way this time. Perhaps Krul is retaining some of this aspect of him. But in this issue he seems mostly about hating on the status quo and hunting super villains. In a mini-series I didn't read, Green Arrow apparently obsessively hunted Super Villains but he killed at least one in that comic. In this new version, he's definitely anti-killing.

He's also incredibly wealthy as usual. Queen Industries seems to think WayneTech and LexCorp are small time.

Imagine a picture is here where Green Arrow is throwing a disc.

Why the hell is Green Arrow throwing discs? And where does he keep them? Has he always thrown discs? Is this because it isn't always realistic for him to quickly string a bow and shoot it at the enemies?

This is a picture of a guy shooting blue lightning bolts out of his hand but missing Green Arrow.

And this guy, Static Overcharge! I mean, Supercharge! He's shooting lightning at and around Green Arrow and it's missing! That's a really bad shot to not be able to hit something that conducts electricity and instead hits the wooden floor beside Green Arrow!

At least Green Arrow goes in and beats the three villains he's been following. It's nice to see another competent hero like Aquaman. Although he busts these guys before they even do anything! Is this actually illegal?



Because once Doppleganger (that's her name!) does that, Green Arrow busts in and begins fighting them. As far as Green Arrow has let us know, these three Super Villains' only crime is a disgusting YouTube video!

Oh wait! Here's a picture that can be used in place of those two times I told you to use your imagination:


I tore a corner off a page in my giant 52 book for this picture!

I'm not sure why the French put these guys in jail. Perhaps because they had super powers. Or maybe because Green Arrow was fighting them and as Green Arrow's Wade, Naomi, says (or Batman's Oracle if you're not into Kim Possible), "At least, we know we're the good guys."

Top ten lessons learned from Green Arrow #1:

10. Green Arrow is damned if he does.
9. Green Arrow is jealous of Mark Millar.
8. Green Arrow thinks reality shows and the people who star in them are ridiculous.
7. Green Arrow telecommutes.
6. Green Arrow fights the good fight because he sat there and watched people he loved die (like Spiderman, kind of!).
5. Green Arrow is damned if he doesn't.
4. Green Arrow doesn't think pirates are sexy.


He's being ironic!

3. Green Arrow has no time for losers.
2. Green Arrow doesn't play games.
1. Green Arrow talks a lot!

The comic ends with this bunch of people breaking out the other three villains who were arrested for partying too hard:



Starting from the left and going clockwise, I'm going to try to guess who they are:

1 & 2: Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen
3: Cameltoe
4: Six Pack (the non drunk version)
5: Chupacabra
6: French Wonder Woman
7: Scoliosis
8: Big Guy