Apparently he even, somehow, took into account that the kid listening to the walkman wouldn't get crushed by the car that flipped because of the way he chained it to a pole (by the way, I'm straining to say that would never happen! But in a comic book where a guy runs at the speed of light, who cares, right?!). That was that picture of the car flipping from last post. It went right over a kid's head. Just like it seems The Flash knew it would.
Well, The Flash comic has always run (#1!) the most improbable comics and caused the most harm to the DC Universe! Crisis was practically all The Flash's fault! Which is probably why they killed him while condensing all the Earths.
Except Kid Flash still existed! And they made him even more powerful than Barry Allen!
Well now The Flash is starting over! Let's see how quickly he can fuck up the New DCU!
As for Issue #3:
Flash talks to himself constantly in this comic. At least that's what I thought at first. And then:
Who is he talking to? To whom is he directing his 'You have no idea' comment?
Is this comic like How I Met Your Mother? Is this some sort of diary to Wally West about how he met Iris West? But we're not supposed to know the kid he's talking to is Wally so the book starts out with Barry dating Patty and having dated Iris and probably doing a lot more women as well since he moves so fast (#2!)
You know, that might be what's going on here! In the first issue, Manuel goes on and on about how Barry hasn't ever found anyone worth taking a beating for! This comic is all about how The Flash met The Flash's Mother! I mean, Barry met Wally's mother!
On pages two and three, he is thinking to himself some more and explains his powers to himself beginning with a "You see...." He does this to make sure he knows (or we know?) that he can vibrate molecules so that he can pass right through solid objects.
We need to know this because he's going to attempt (and succeed!) to vibrate the molecules of an entire airplane and all of its passengers and every piece of luggage on it through a bridge.
Is he able to do this because he's in slight contact with the plane? And then he can vibrate the molecules of everyone and everything that's on the plane as well? I don't know!
Maybe he vibrates an area of space so that the molecules of one solid object can pass through another. Which would probably mean that all solid objects in this area would become, um, what? A kind of plasma? Still a solid but with very loose bonds? And normal people can survive this trick? How do the parts of the plane remain together as a plane if everything is vibrating to where they can pass through everything else? How does the pilot pilot the plane if they're vibrating in that weird way?
Am I supposed to believe that whatever is vibrating at a certain frequency can still interact with everything else at that frequency but exists on a separate material plane (#3!) than everything vibrating at a different frequency?!
Yeah, yeah! It's a super hero comic book! But fuck, SIR, do not test my limits of credulity!
I think I should extend my Speed Force Points to 'Ridiculous things the Flash can do'! That makes sense because the lower the comic's rating, the more serious The Flash comic is taking itself.
So I'm giving this feat by The Flash 5 Speed Force Points! Way to go! That means I should probably add some points to the Issue #2 for the unbelievable psychic ability he gives himself just by being able to think fast.
On pages 6 and 7 we get a hand pun that has to do with Multiple-Man and his Multiples. You know the one! "Give us a hand." But they mean it literally!
And then on page 8, we get this:
Yay! Captain Cold and the Rogue's Gallery!
I'm not sure why Captain Cold wants Iris West to tell The Flash, "Thank you." For putting him in prison? For causing the blackout he didn't cause? Because Cap met some cool friends (#4!) in prison?
Page Sixteen. Ha ha!
He can't keep up! But he's The Flash! Oh ho ho!
I think that gives the comic, so far, 6 Speed Force Points. And my blog entry has earned 4!
This one doesn't technically count toward the Speed Force Points Tally but it's earning the comic 1 more anyway!
Barry steps all over her joke and thinks that he made the pun.
Page 18. 2nd Panel. Barry says, "New plan..." 3rd Panel. Barry says, "RUN!" Ha ha! Since we, the reader, understand that that is the plan every time, it's funny! Also, Patty tells Barry to, "Get a move on!"
Final Page:
Mmm, cake!
So this The Flash scored 8 Speed Force Points as well as getting Barry Allen shot in the head! The great thing about him being shot in the head is that next issue will probably begin with something super ridiculous to show how he used his super speed to run to Broadway to get some fake blood and brains to splash on the wall and his head as he dodged the bullet but made himself up to look like he was killed and score Issue #4 some really nice Speed Force Points right off the bat!
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