Mister Terrific #4

Mister Terrific, I don't mean to sound racist. Or speciesist. Whatever. You know what I'm sayin'. You want to give these aliens the benefit of the doubt. You want to believe they're being honest because you don't want to judge them by their looks. I get it, Mr. T. You're cool. You're open-minded.

But look at them! LOOK AT THEM! They're hideous! They look like prolapsed rectums! They must be bad!



See?! They want you to take them to your world! Pretending they want sanctuary! It's the 53rd oldest trick in the book! I think the oldest trick in the book is the one where you pretend your wife is your sister.

So, you know, Mr. T-fic, just be careful! Keep an eye on...



I told you! I FUCKIN' TOLD YOU, YOU DUMB BASTARD! You might be the third smartest man on Earth but you're apparently the most dumbest man in the Ninth Dimension!



Okay, fine. So you lost it when you found out Brainstorm killed your wife and now you lost focus and got yourself captured. What are you going to do about it, huh, Mister Smarty Pants?

What he does about it is gets experimented on by the Kryl. They look inside his mind and see how he really views things. The women in his life are seen as vampires and spiders, sapping his life force and trying to catch him in their sticky stuff. He seems to be overly concerned about how smart the other people surrounding him are. His business partner's son is seen with a Jersey with 192 on it, his IQ. Brainstorm is seen with an overly large head. And the backdrop of his life, L.A., is represented by traffic jams and the Hollywood sign spelling out Horrorwood.

So there are things about your life you don't like, Mike! Big deal! You're a bajillionaire!

(Why doesn't spellcheck like the word 'bajillionaire'? Why doesn't spellcheck like the word 'spellcheck'?!)

Mister Terrific is thrown in a cell with a lot of other alien captives.


Mister Terrific trying to find a common language with the aliens.

Anyway, back to my original question, Mister? Can I call you Mister? What are you going to do about being captured?



Oh yeah. So you noticed that too? What of it?



Duh! That goes without saying. But I don't see how that can help you.



Oh yeah! I hadn't thought of that. Great idea, T! But how are you going to get around not having your T-balls?




Damn, bro! You're practically home free! And it works! With a little help from Giant Purple Alien Prison King! Mister Terrific and the other aliens are free!


Being that they're not a white couple from the suburbs, they might not think 'angry black man' is really all that scary. But the purple guy behind you, that's a threat.

You can tell I'm enjoying the pacing, style and writing of this comic because I'm spending so long scanning shit from it. And I don't really care how much of an inkling of actual science is in any of his solutions. If I ever read a book where I understand what he just did, I think I'll be sort of disappointed!