Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Supergirl #11

Last issue, absorbed by Black Banshee. This issue, absorbed by Nanotech. Next issue, absorbed by her own vagina. FWAAASH!

Ten issues in and Supergirl has not had a moment to sleep. I have no idea how much time has passed between issues but the most rest she got was when she was stuffed in the Kryptonite Tank in Simon Tycho's space satellite. It's a good thing she's a supergirl and probably doesn't need any rest at all.

Looks like between last issue and this issue, a substantial amount of time has passed. Since the first ten issues took place in about a day and a half (I'm estimating!), ten months or so must have passed since the end of Issue #10 to get Supergirl caught up with the rest of the New 52. Tommy and Siobhan have been living in Siobhan's flat in New York while Supergirl has been, well, elsewhere. But she spends a lot of time with the siblings and is slowly learning English. So far, after ten months, she's learned how to say "Hello." This issue, she's planning on learning how to say "First Date."

I knew she hadn't slept between issues #1 and #10. But she still hasn't had any rest? Maybe my ten month guess was way too high!

Supergirl and Tom go out for a slice of pizza while Siobhan goes to her day job at the cafe where she apparently wasn't fired for bringing her psychotic dad to her show. It's possible nobody remembers having their souls sucked. Or maybe all the witnesses died. Not that I'd like her to get fired because some asshole she's related to showed up at her job and starting causing trouble! That's just fucked up. Fucking family! I'm glad I don't have the kind of emotional attachment to family that keeps people involved in never ending disputes and drama over exaggerated hurt feelings. I probably accidentally blocked out all of the intimate feelings towards other people when I was forced to shut down all of my fear circuits watching endless streams of horror films with my mom.

Kara has a slice of jalapeno pizza with extra jalapenos. Or maybe she just tried a slice of pepperoni and her super senses turned the heat of the pepperoni into a nuclear reaction in her mouth. She heads outside to super vomit when a T-1000 disguised as the cop from The Village People decides she's had enough downtime.

That's a doozy of step up to that door.

The Liquid Cop Nanobot has probably been sent by Simon Tycho. Even though everybody on Earth seems to want to punch Supergirl in her vagina, only Simon Tycho has shown that he has scads of cash and a Supergirl obsession. And since he's gone all Johnny Get Your Gun since he last appeared, he needs to send his henchmen after her.

While other heroes tend to keep the fisticuffs to a two to three page minimum, Supergirl always goes all out and spends ten pages exchanging blows with her adversary. Eventually, she accidentally uses her X-ray vision to see inside the Nanoguy's skull where she notices a small control mechanism. She blasts a pinpoint laserbeam of heat vision into his skull, destroying it. The suit sloughs off in a grey ooze and the man beneath falls over unconscious. Kara leaves him in the park and heads back to pick up Tom.

She is dangerous! Unless Siobhan has taught her that shaking hands is a better greeting alternative to punching faces.

Kara ditches Siobhan and Tommy because she needs to find out why people keep attacking her. Look, Supergirl. You beat the shit out of everyone you've ever met. You even tried to beat up Superman! You might have to take a little responsibility for the position you've found yourself in. Plus, I think next issue you should take an English Language course. It'll make the entire comic book more interesting. And it could be a fun issue if Michael Green and Mike Johnson weren't so afraid of casual, playful dialogue.

Supergirl #11 Rating: No change. I just feel like this comic is wasting so much potential. Supergirl finding a place in this world and forging new relationships with a variety of humans would be a lot more interesting than Supergirl feeling lonely and getting in a huge fight every issue. It feels like this comic is only on Issue Four while the rest of the New 52 have been out for a full year. Well, maybe not all of the other ones! Reading Green Arrow feels like an eternity.

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