This cover is pornographic.
Who am I kidding? Even if this issue sucks, I'll keep reading it! Although I should hand it over to my friend Doom Bunny's wife and have her correct all of the grammar. But then she might point out all of my grammar errors as well (both intentional and unintentional), and who wants that! Bah! Teachers!
First off, I doubt they're in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. They just fell off a cliff side in Alaska. Hell, they might be in the Arctic Ocean! But they're definitely not in the MIDDLE of the Pacific. Stop using so many dashes, especially since it only confuses the writer and causes him to stick two subjects at the beginning of one sentence. And then he uses the non-existent double ellipsis. It's one period, three periods, or four periods. Never two periods. Maybe the problem is that now Howard Mackie is co-scripting with Tom DeFalco! So, would you like a side of shitslaw with your shitribs?
First panel, second page: "We should pitch the Ravager over off." At this point, I'm beginning to believe the editors are just the names of the writer's Cabbage Patch Kids.
I decided to get a quote about using two periods in a sentence from The Chicago Manual of Style even though I didn't think I would find anything about it. Because, you know, who does this? Well, here's their quote on using two periods: "Seriously, have you ever seen two periods in a row like that in print? If we told you to put two periods, would you do it? Would you set your hair on fire if CMOS said you should?" Hey! CMOS! I HAVE now seen two periods in print! It's just a shitty publication!
Meanwhile Rose Wilson and Warblade arrive at Harvest's new base which he already had built because the old base being destroyed was part of his plan. No, seriously.
Is that supposed to make me believe he's a scary smart threat to everyone? If he can see the future and he knows what's going to happen, then that isn't a plan. It's waiting for time to pass. If he's so smart that he can plan plans within plans down to the microsecond, then it's stupid bullshit that I'll never find entertaining. Because random shit happens every fucking microsecond that his stupid plans can't account for!
Maybe I should just pretend I love The Ravagers and act like it's my new favorite comic book much like I chose to despise Legion of Super Heroes even if it's good. Let's see if I can fake rave.
I just love how he assumes things so that he can dialogue with himself! He's so smart he doesn't need any feedback from his frightened foes!
Once Caitlin and Ridge show up, Lightning waits until they agree to help get Thunder back from Shadow Walker and then blasts them into unconsciousness. That was dumb. They were actually going to help and instead you knock them out? You never bargain, stupid! Now Shadow Walker has everyone. Why would he give Thunder back to Lightning when Lightning can't fight him alone? She's stupid. But oh my God her hair is so cute and she might be one of my favorites of all time! SQUEAL!
And then Shadow Walker turns on Lightning! What a stupid twat! I told her not to deal with that jerk and now she's going to get herself killed! He needs to find out why he can't track Beast Boy so he begins interrogating Lightning and threatening to feed on her. But Thunder fights back! He escapes the darkness cocoon and dazes Shadow Walker. Lightning, once again, thinks only of herself.
But Thunder thinks like I do!
Oh! But the main point I forgot when I said it was the 17th page is that it was also the last page of the comic. Yes. Ravagers #2 didn't even come in at the lame 20 pages. SEVENTEEN! The only reason I counted was because the last page of story is followed up by two pages of previews which usually only happens in the $3.99 books. The concept pages have a half finished portrait of Brother Blood and the cover for Ravagers #3. Oh, and some other skinless dude or something. But even with the two lousy concept art pages, that's only 19 pages. What a fucking rip, DC. First you put out Ravagers #1 and #2 with horrible editing. And then you don't put together a full comic. Ugh. I mean, Yay! I'm so excited about this title!
The Ravagers #2 Rating: -1 Ranking. Even if I liked it, at 17 pages, there's no way I could do anything but drop it a rank. Pee-yu! What a stinker!