Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Flash #10

I'm shocked that The Flash has such a bunch of silly villains in his Rogue's Gallery. The Flash is possibly the most powerful hero in the DCnU and he's fighting chumps like this guy and the talking gorilla and Doctor Icebox.

Patty headed to Guatemala where she's going to encounter The Weather Wizard. Was this month South America Appreciation Month in the DCnU? Let's see if I can remember everyone who has just recently been in South America. Aquaman. The Birds of Prey. Justice League Dark. And now The Flash. I might be missing a few since I can't seem to remember as much as I'd like to remember reading 52 comics per month.

The first thing I notice isn't actually the first thing I notice. But it's the first thing I notice that I want to type something about. The pencils this issue are not by Francis Manapul. That is disappointing. They are by Marcos To and they just look like any other average comic book. That could hurt The Flash's standing!

See? Normal comic book art.

The second thing that I'd like to discuss is the use of the word "literally." Is anybody else sick of people literally being figurative when they use the word literal? I keep meaning to play a drinking game one weekend where I just spend the whole weekend drinking every time I hear someone use literally incorrectly (by the way, it's used fine in this comic). But now that the new season of Big Brother is on, I'll probably pass out after each episode.

I think a version of The Holy Bible should be released with the word "literally" sprinkled throughout it. "In the beginning, God literally created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was literally without form, and void; and literal darkness was literally upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God literally moved upon the face of the waters. It was fucking amazing."

Anyway, The Flash ended up in Central City at the end of last issue and he begins this issue in Guatemala fighting The Weather Wizard. I really hope there aren't any flashbacks (FLASHbacks!) since Barry just explained in his Narration Boxes what happened. He went to talk to Patty but she wasn't home. So he went to Guatemala to find her. But she'd been kidnapped by The Weather Wizard. So now Barry is fighting him. No need to show him buying plane tickets or just running across the globe. We got it!

This comic actually began with a story that happened two years ago. The Weather Wizard was living in Central City and his drug dealer brother came to ask him to help run the drug business. But before they could meet up, Weather Wizard's brother answered the door, recognized whoever it was, and was filled with holes. The holes were made by bullets. That's the murder that Patty came down to investigate! See? It all ties together.

Or maybe he didn't kidnap her!

Meanwhile, even kidnapped and tied up in somebody's basement, Patty solves the murder! She's amazing!

Here's a tip for you up-and-coming evil geniuses: if a cop is investigating your crime, don't lock the cop up with the one person that can give the cop everything she is looking for. Even if you plan on killing them both because you're just showing fate your bare ass bent over the dressing room table, wiggling it sexily as fate comes at you with a raging hard-on.

Flash catches up to Elsa (Claudio's wife (Claudio is Marco's brother! (Marco is the Weather Wizard!))) and Weather Wizard. He punches Marco while running fast and dodging lightning and he doesn't break his jaw or explode his head or anything! I assume The Flash can't punch very hard. Maybe as hard as a two year old. So combined with the super speed, it's like a grown man punching another grown man.

Is it a trap? It's a trap, right? I think it might be a trap. Maybe?

No, it's not a trap! I totally knew it wasn't! The Flash rescues Patty. The drug fields burn because the car Weather Wizard was in when Flash grabbed him flew off of a cliff and into the fields of druggity drugs and exploderized. Then Elsa told Weather Wizard that she killed his brother to help the family. So Weather Wizard kills her with a blast of lightning (and tries to kill himself but that doesn't work). Then this happens:

Uh oh. Is she collecting villains for a real honest-to-goodness Rogue's Gallery?

Finally, this entire issue Flash has been debating whether or not he should tell Patty that he's Barry Allen. He wants to tell her because he loves her and he wants to share the burden with her. But by the end, he realizes that is selfish and could just put her life in danger. And since the world needs The Flash to keep running or something bad will happen (Crisis on Infinite Earths bad!), he decides to leave Barry Allen dead! Wow. So The Flash isn't going to have a secret identity? He's just going to be The Flash? How will he make a living? Robbery? Is he going to get a fake identity? How many laws is he going to break to remain a hero! That sounds like hypocrisy! You know, if you're one of those Ayn Randian jerks who believe everything has to be completely black and white!

The Flash #10 Rating: No change. The Flash continues to be a solid comic book but this issue is far less nice to look at. I hope Manapul continues to do some art in this series or somewhere else. Like the Grodd issue, this issue was a bit flat as well. Just having a Flash villain appear in the book doesn't make for a great story. It just makes for a story you'd find in a comic book! I'm more excited to see what The Flash is going to do about his civilian life than what villain he's going to face off against next.

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