Action Comics #43

Anywhere, USA, 1940...or Portland, OR, 2015?

When we last left Clark Kent, he was beating the shit out of a cop who had ordered a bunch of other cops to beat the shit out of a bunch of protesters. Jimmy Olsen was standing in the background taking pictures so he's probably going to help ruin Clark's life even more by selling a shot of Clark punching Binghamton in the face to the Daily Bugle.

There it is! That's the shot that earns all of the money and the Pulitzers and the enmity of a best friend! See the "CLK CLK CLK" signalling the death of friendship?!

Binghamton's face tears wide open exposing the Shadow Monster underneath. When one of the SWAT Guys asks Superman how Clark knew Binghamton wasn't human, Clark says, "I didn't." Idiot! That still leaves you open to criticism as to why you'd punch a human being in the face that hard! You're supposed to say, "Because I'm Superman! Protecting the little people is what I do!" Although maybe try not to sound as condescending as I always sound.

Binghamton being a shadow creature explains why all of the police are following his orders to beat up innocent civilians. It's just more mind-control! Always fucking mind-control in these Superman comic books! But I suppose that also means that all of my complaints about last issue were just answered. These cops aren't just assholes because cops are usually assholes. No! These are good men struck down by an evil psychic shadow monster! And how do I know they're good men?

Would a relative of Maps Mizoguchi be evil? I don't think so!

Thanks to the magic of the Mizoguchi charm (probably), the rest of the police and SWAT team turn on Binghamton. Everybody comes to Clark's defense because they love him so much! Nobody actually hated him after all! It's just the darkness in their hearts which was probably brought out by LexCorps Pharmaceuticals! Superman chooses to believe the cops were just assholes following orders who now get to blame their horrible decisions on the Shadow Monster. Well, isn't that nice, Clark. How about if everybody just blamed you for going on that Doomsday rampage when it was really just the disease? Or how about when Queen Bee and Hector Hammond were mind-controlling you? Oh wait. That probably is why everybody hates you. Because they don't actually believe you were mind-controlled or sick.

The mayor speaks with Superman and suggests he leave Metropolis since he's a target. Guess what, Mr. Mrs. Mayor? Metropolis is also a target now because everybody knows Superman would give his life to save it! So it's better if he's there to be the actual target! Although Smallville is probably a target now too. But Superman refuses to leave and decides to go make some plans with Lee and Olsen in Clark's apartment.

Jesus Christ, Wonder Woman sure left the place a mess.

Superman gathers up the people in his neighborhood and tells them that they're all Superman now. He points out that they're going to have to take care of themselves because, apparently, the people in his neighborhood don't have enough common sense to know they're responsible for their own lives and safety. I mean since they obviously don't have super powers, apparently "being Superman" just means acting like a responsible adult! I don't know if I like that decision because that means I can't be Superman. Shucks!

Meanwhile at least one policewoman is an idiot.

How hard must it be for a writer to write such irrational statements coming out of the mouths of characters?

Here's Cheap-Ass Writing 101 (it's the class you have to take if you want to be writer for CW's Arrow):

1. Have first good character tell lie for good reasons.
2. Have second good character discover lie.
3. Have second good character hate first good character forever for all time because first good character is a lying fuckfaced fucker fuck.
4. Drama!

You can get three mediocre seasons of television out of that shit! Although to really keep the fans buying your bullshit, you also need to have two characters that would never and should never fall in love, fall in love.

The Mayor likes Anabella's anti-liar attitude so she thinks she'd make a good member of the Mayor's Shadow Cabinet. The Mayor might be dumber than everybody else in this comic book if she thinks Annabella would appreciate that the Mayor has been lying about working with the Shadow People when Annabella was obviously so disturbed that Superman was lying about being Clark Kent. Annabella tries to shoot the Mayor's shadow henchmen instead of saying, "Sign me up, Mr. Mrs. Mayor!" It's a good thing Superman arrives to save the day! The real Superman! Clark Kent! Not Dante or Lee or one of the other Supermen from Clark's neighborhood.

Action Comics #43 Rating: No change. I want a shirt that reads, "Problematic as all get out! But my heart's in the right place. Hint: it's in my chest! Now stop looking at my boobs!" Maybe that's too long for a t-shirt.