Green Arrow #43

Green Arrow is officially a second string hero! The proof is that his comic book didn't increase to $3.99.

Oliver Queen's company has recently funded a racist flying squid police robot to keep the city safe. I don't know why they spent so much money when they already had perfectly capable racist police! I suppose the flying squid robot part makes it super exciting and might actually distract people from the racist part. Now when it only arrests and murders black citizens, they can blame it on a bug in the programming instead of racism!

Everybody in Seattle is now wearing hoodies to keep from being profiled by the Panopticon. Just like the people of Metropolis have all become Superman, everybody in Seattle is now Green Arrow. Fuck, that has to be embarrassing. I bet you'll never see the people of Atlantis all declaring they're Aquaman.

Emi and Arrow Dog seek out Henry Fyff because they need nerd help to locate Oliver. He was kidnapped by one of the Panopticons controlled by the bad guy whose racist name I've forgotten. It was probably Adolf Hitler or Sean Hannity or something like that.

I guess the confederate flag I Photoshopped into the Panopticon's tentacles last issue wasn't out of place.

Apparently if the only people you hire for your factory are neo-nazis, you have to hide your factory deep in a cave in the wilderness. Also, are we not allowed to look at swastikas anymore? Should I be calling them the S-symbol? Or the SS-Symbol, amirite?! Although that would then be confused for the actual SS tattoos these guys already have on their arms which really just look like old swastika tattoos inked over to be, um, less offensive? Maybe?

Neo-Nazi #1: "I can't believe how hard it is to find a job in this economy!"
Neo-Nazi #2: "That fucking swastika on your neck probably doesn't help. You should do what I did! Turn it into an SS!"
Neo-Nazi #1: "Who the fuck is that going to fool, you pussy?"
Neo-Nazi #2: "You'd be surprised how ignorant most of America is! I mean other than us!"

Okay. There's the proper SS tattoo and a swastika obscured by his tank top. So my guess is that the previous SS tattoos were originally swastikas which editorial demanded be changed because they're too offensive to appear on offensive characters with offensive ideologies!

The self-hating albino black serial killer that feeds on the melanin of his victims kills this white guy because he's selling guns to black people. You know who else is against an armed black population? The police. White conservatives. Grassroots militias. Pretty much most of middle class white America. Rich white people. White people. A few brown people. Some black people. Here's how you ban guns, America! You put forth a law that would keep African Americans from owning guns. It'll pass easy because everybody in congress currently against gun control are racists. Then the president sells America to an African nation so that we're all suddenly African Americans and it's illegal for us all to own guns! I should totally be the president!

Or we could go the other way! Arm all African Americans. Fuck, if anybody needs armed protection in this country, it's African Americans. Although the police kill African Americans simply for holding toy guns or reaching too quickly for identification or for not signaling a lane change or for playing in the park or for smoking on a street corner or for minding their own business, so it's probably more dangerous for them to actually carry weapons. Cops must think all African Americans are greased lightning crackshots and if they have even a split second to go for their weapon, they're going to kill the cop. I don't understand why else police shoot blacks practically on sight while treating white people who march around with semi-automatic weapons in a civil manner. No wait! I do understand why else! It's because they're all fucking racist.

Um. Anyway, Henry Fyff outfits Emiko with some EMP Arrows and an arrow which will allow Henry to take control of one of the Panopticons. He then sends the young girl into dangerous and violent battle with Arrow Dog. Well, I guess "sends" is too strong a word. I think he "watches helplessly as Emiko goes to do whatever the fuck she wants because he's a lazy slug and possibly my hero."

We all talk to our animal friends like they can understand us (because they can!). This was one of the few times a comic book didn't actually have to point out something ridiculous so it doesn't get criticized for being ridiculous.

Emiko nearly drowns while battling the Panopticons guarding Hitler Makes Us Wet Island. But George the Arrow Dog saves her life! Way to go, George! Unless you were just dragging her to land to eat her face which she ruined by not drowning quickly enough. Way to go anyway! Good dog!

Also infiltrating I Named My Boner Adolf Island because he's angry at his boss Zimm for financing black criminals is the self-hating albino black serial killer that feeds on the melanin of his victims. Boy, I probably need to think up a clever nickname for him.

Oh, never mind. I won't need to refer to him at all anymore!

Ollie escapes while Zimm's Panopticon murders his henchman. He runs into Emiko and Arrow Dog on the way out, takes her bow and an EMP Arrow, and shoots the Panopticons chasing him. That means they're fried from the EMP. But stupid fucking Ollie sticks the Hacking Arrow into one of the fried EMP Panopticons. What is Henry suppose to do now? Grant a miracle?

Zimm tries to escape in his personalized Panopticon ship but Henry, now in the system due to magic, sets all the Panopticon drones to self-destruct. Zimm's sinks in the water where he's eaten by a Killer Whale. I hope someday that's how The Penguin goes out. Back in Pennytown, all of the African Americans smile and take off their hoods because it's now safe to be black in Seattle! Good job, Green Arrow team! Racism stamped out!

Green Arrow #43 Rating: No change. Ollie calls the Killer Whale at the end the Blackfish so I think that's symbolic of something. I was thinking more along the lines of the Orca being both black and white and being a symbol of how efficiently blacks and white could destroy everything else if they just worked together! My stuffed penguin Schnabel just saw it as a trigger and now he's pissed off that Green Arrow didn't have a Trigger Warning: Killer Whale Feeding on the cover.

Also since I'm currently remembering about it, the back page has an interview with the Grayson comic book team. They all love working on the book!

Apparently, Mikel Janin really, really, really loves working on it!