Starfire #12

Remember when all of these things happened?!

The Review or Whatever!
• This issue begins with Starfire's Vagina being more self-aware than she ever was when she was a member of the Titans.

• If writers could be bothered to think up better motivations for bad guys than "Let's kill the heroes who are an impediment to doing the crimes we never do because we're always just trying to kill the heroes!", maybe Starfire's Vagina wouldn't have this issue.

• I spent all day yesterday watching 1970s Celebrity Bowling on Decades TV. I'm willing to admit that if they were still running it today, I wouldn't be reading this comic book right now. I recorded several episodes featuring Charles Nelson Reilly which aired while I was at work and I am never deleting them from the DVR.

• Starfire's Vagina uses the phrase "I am truly blessed" and now I have to clean vomit off the cat. Sorry, Pelafina.

• The story is almost about Starfire's Vagina taking a shower but it's unpleasantly hijacked by a PSA on Multiple Sclerosis. The more you know, the more I don't give a fuck!

• I want to say I remember a time when people actually did real things instead of just feeling raising awareness and inspiring people were enough but I don't remember those times at all. I think those were in the 50s or something.

• After the PSA, there just isn't any room to include Starfire's Vagina's shower. Well poop. Way to go, Multiple Sclerosis! You've finally found a way to affect my life too! Now I see why everybody wants to cure it!

• Starfire's Vagina kidnaps a dolphin from the aquarium. I mean, she liberates a dolphin from the aquarium. I forgot I'm an animal lover more than a capitalist for a second there! Fuck aquariums! Down with the man! Suck off a dolphin!

• Starfire's Vagina soon discovers she has no job, no boyfriend, no place to stay, and the sheriff thinks she's a danger to the community. Since everybody suddenly has an aversion to Starfire's Vagina, she decides it's time to leave Key West. But first she throws a beach picnic for all of her new friends whom she will probably never see again once she joins the Teen Titans. Not because she'll be busy fighting crime but because she'll be busy fighting statutory rape charges due to banging Damian.

• Starfire's Vagina invites Atlee's Butthole to come with her but Atlee's Butthole's home is in Key West. Atlee's Butthole will probably be forgotten by everybody but me!

• *

• Superman's Machismo stops by to tell Kori he'll help her get settled with a group of superheroes whenever she's ready to leave Key West. He knows this really sour guy with a dangerous kid who might have a position open in a new super group he's forming!