Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Sinestro #22


My guess is that by the end of Issue #23, Soranik will be completely corrupted by the power of the Yellow Ring and simply become a female Sinestro.

Review or Whatever!
This issue is called "BloodRed" (all one word!) because it stars Dex-Starr. Why did Group Editor Handsy McAssgrabber allow Cullen Bunn to write Dex-Starr after he tried to kill him the last time he appeared? Is he going to try to kill him once and for all before flouncing out of the DC offices for the final time? I don't trust this Bunn guy at all!

Dex-Starr isn't the only Red Lantern to appear in this story. There's also the sexy one, and the other one that I don't recognize, and another one that I don't know, and still another one whose name I've probably never heard. Their attack on a peaceful space science station might be terrifying and horrific but it began with their Red Lantern Oath which is just terrible. I'm going to assume that Geoff Johns wrote that because my research assistant and fact checker, Pickle Boy, has abandoned me. And judging by the Red Lantern Oath and that alone, Geoff Johns is the worst writer in the history of writing. Probably in the prehistory of writing as well! You know, the days of cave paintings and oral sex.

Maybe the Red Lantern Oath just doesn't translate into English very well. I bet it's truly bowel-loosening in its original language.

On New Korugar, Soranik bandages young Korugarian knees while Sinestro does the hard work of leadership behind the scenes. But he's still weak from...um...not having enough heart? I didn't realize a person could use a ring so much that they just die. Those rings should come with a warning label. Also, this comic book should come with a warning label. I think I've read too much of it because I'm beginning to feel sick and weak.

Dez Trevius investigates the site of the Red Lantern attack and is ambushed because his Yellow Ring is a worse researcher and fact checker than Pickle Boy was. Instead of immediately going, "Red Energy Signature Detected! Lots of signs of angry life!", it goes, "Der! Duh! Uhm! Something's near? Maybe you should check before I finish working out what the danger is." But they don't kill him. They need him to lead them back to New Korugar. I guess the Red Rings are even worse at research than everything else I mentioned that was bad at research! I bet if Bleez (she's the sexy one!) asked her ring, "Ring, find New Korugar!", it would be all, "ARRRGLE BLARG! BLLLLLAAAAARRRRRF! SMASH!" Which is why the Dez Trevius plan!

In the final issue, the Yellow Lanterns and the Red Lanterns are going to have a battle! Are we placing bets on whether or not Cullen Bunn was given the go-ahead to kill Sinestro?! I hope he was!

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